Ear piercing on babies

No, it's not just you!

I remember when we moved to London years ago a neighbour's child, aged 18 months, had her ears pierced and the studs seemed huge on such a tiny child.

Of course, as a result DD1, aged 6, nagged me for years to allow her to have it done. I finally relented (against my better judgement) when she was 13. Quite soon enough, although DD2 was only 12 and DD1 never let me forget that!

I agree for all of the above reasons.
But also.... I'm just going to say it..... everyone may shout at me...
I think it looks common on a baby.

I'm not going to shout at you Coolgran - I agree, it is common,!

Oh Coolgran, you said exactly what my mother would have said. Things on mum's list of what was 'common' have never left me

I think calling ear piercing child abuse is to misunderstand what child abuse is. i wouldn't advocate piercing the ears of babies but lots of loving parents do this and I'd hate to think that as a sw I may have been the one on the duty desk, trying to calm down an irate grannie complaining her granddaughter had been subjected to child abuse by having her ears pierced.

I was subjected to years of pester power from my daughters but stood my ground till they reached year 6, aged 10 - 11 by which time I felt they were old enough to be responsible about PE, ear cleaning etc. My mother still felt it was common but we didn't fall out about it. That's the key for the OP I think, not to fall out with her Dil about this plan

Common! haven't heard that phrase in a long time.
My own DD's were about 11 when I allowed them to have pierced ears, and I had my own done at the same time. It is not child abuse though, that is OTT to say that.However there is no need to have a baby's ears pierced, I mean why?

I wouldn't say anthing to your DIL about it, unless she asks for your opinion.

I have 3 daughters and none of them nagged to have their ears pierced and they all still have ears that are intact. And why........? Because their mother had hers done when she was about 35, and the holes would not heal - it was a messy painful business, which they witnessed and they all vowed that they would not have it done. So my suffering was not in vain!

There are lots of other things we do to babies over which they have no choice, circumcision, baptism to name but two. Personally I don't agree with either or ear piercing. But unless they are illegal it is left to parents to decide. I didn't have my ears pierced till I was I my twenties.

If an adult had a piercing done without consent it would be an assault, so I don't understand why it's acceptable to do it to a baby.

Common - oh yes, I remember that word being used by DM, and by my friends and me to describe someone who wore white stilettos with luminous socks!

It's not a word I would use nowadays since DD had a tattoo

Common also sprang to my mind too, but maybe it's an age thing, fashions change. I don't like it, but my daughter in law had my gds done, prompting my youngest, then 9, to complain and ask why I hadn't allowed her to have it done. I relented, only for her to stop wearing earrings after losing them more than once and discovering an allergy to all but gold which prevented her from buying the fun earrings she liked (I had earlier resisted the cultural pressure from north african in -laws who didn't understand why my daughter's ears weren't done sooner.) As for making it illegal, I think it might have unintended consequences with unlicensed or untrained piercers doing the job for parents who want it done.

Any assault on babies is dreadful - ear piercing and circumcision fall into the category of assault. I cannot tell you how angry it makes me to think of little boys losing their foreskins - and at a celebration party!! - unbelievable!

There is a petition on 38 degrees we can all sign
you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/ban-ear-piercing-for-babies-toddlers

Van you could show that to your DiL.
I agree with Susan the only way to broach the subject with your DiL is by asking questions, preferably (leading)open ones!
eg how painful do you think it will be?
what will you do if she gets an infection?
do you think they will let her wear earrings at nursery?
Do you know if the place you are taking her to has been inspected for cleanliness & hygiene practices?

I agree with Lona and others it is a form of child abuse and any reputable salon would not do it on such young children.
Just off to sign the petition!

Before our the sex of our grandchild was known our Brazilian daughter in law said she wanted to have the baby's ears pierced shortly after birth as is common in her country and here in Spain, where we all live. We were horrified but our son dealt with it creatively by saying that was OK so long as it applied regardless of whether the baby was a boy or girl! As it turned out its a boy and she didn't have his ears pierced. Unnecessarily hurting a baby is abuse in my book, whichever way you look at it.

I am horrified by young children having pierced ears. Partly because when I was teaching I once saw a child catch an earring. She was wearing very small rings and was playing on the slide in the playground, as she came down she threw up her arms and shouted, and the ring caught on her coat sleeve. Her ear was badly torn and poured with blood. She was hurt and very upset. She was only 7.
Rings are now mostly banned in schools and only small studs are allowed, but how you would manage an active toddler I don't know.

I have neither piercings nor tattoos and cannot understand the mindset which drives people to alter their bodies in this way. I seldom wear jewellery, never earrings as my hair covers my ears and there is therefore no point. I do wear a lot of badges to show my support for various causes but these can be removed if they become redundant.

As to the OP - why not tell your DiL that you have been looking on-line and the modern consensus seems to be that piercing of babies' ears is out of favour and refer her to Mumsnet - you can browse without joining.

God says do not pierce the skin!
Plus not all children like piercings.

I've got pierced ears rosewhite. Should I start praying ?

No! No! No! leave it until the child is old enough to make their own decision. Secondary school maybe. It's not as if its a necessary proceedure for health reasons.

Any parent getting a baby or toddlers ears pierced is nothing more than a thick ignorant parent. They are not getting it done because "quote" so the child will forget the pain, no they are getting it done because THEY think it looks good. No other reason, they just want to bling their children so they can show off the jewelry the child is wearing.

Bellanonna me too!

I hate to see babies and young children with pierced ears. Yes, it does look common and yes it is cruel. We told our daughter she had to wait until she was 16, which she did, and they both became horribly infected needing antibiotics ! She let them heal over and she is 45 now still with "holeless" lobes !

God says do not pierce the skin

I haven't heard that one - could you givr chapter and verse please rosewhite?

Ah well, I not only have pierced ears, I have been vaccinated, had my children vaccinated and I have had quite a lot of pierced skin for medical reasons over the years!

what is her weakness? find her weak point, what does she not want to be perceived as? imply subtly that having a child with pierced ears will make people think she is... <insert the thing she least wants to be>

VanLe4
I do so feel for you.
My DS and DiL live in Spain: she's Spanish. 6 years ago, they had twins, a boy and a girl. 3 days after the birth, my DGD's ears were pierced while still in hospital.
As others have said, it's a cultural thing there.
I was really annoyed though, and my DD was up in arms, saying it shouldn't be legal. Knowing her, she was probably one of the first to sign the MumsNet petition!
At least we're talking about studs here, not hoops......so less likelihood (I hope) of the kind of accidental damage as described above.
Having been presented with a fait accompli, there wasn't any point in making our views known at the time.
On the bright side, my DGD has grown into a feisty little tomboy who rejects all of my DiL's attempts to 'pinkify' her
There is a God ....!