How much is enough -Xmas presents for a GC?

A couple of weeks ago my dgd who is 8 in two weeks said to me...
''Granny, do you know that the adverts on tv aren't really true, they make the toys look so good but they're not like that in real life''

For her birthday she is getting a very basic horse riding hat (properly measured) and being allowed to pick a new clothing item from New Look (cheap stuff and her first time in a 'nearly teen shop'. We are taking her out this afternoon to do this.
She doesn't know that there will be surprise tickets in her birthday card so that she and I will have a girly night and go to the local small town panto £9 each.

Then comes Christmas and from us she is getting a pogo stick, a globe of the world and a boxed set of books from TK Maxx.

We try to be sensible but I still feel it's a little much from us.
Especially as we have 4 dgc.
We are not well off but lucky that we can manage it . However, I come from a background of previously having to watch every penny and I still feel it's not right to be sensible.
Dh would just keep buying for them and I have to sit on him a bit.

woah! 32 ????? no way! My GC will get one present from their parents, one each from their 2 uncles and aunts , ditto grandparents - maybe a godparent might put something into their savings account and apart from small stockings that will be it! As adults we give one member of the family (drawn from a hat) a decent present and everyone else gets a little present with a max £5 spend. Some years ago we decided an orgy of present giving was ludicrous. I do see if you have a huge family that are all going to be there at Christmas then its difficult - but as always small children enjoy the paper and boxes as much as any present and older ones are keen to boost their savings! who wants to spend Christmas Day in a sea of wrapping paper anyway?

Indinana - my sentiments exactly, couldn't have put it better.

Indinana - my sentiments exactly, couldn't have put it better.

Indinana - my sentiments exactly, couldn't have put it better.

Chrishappy that's a great idea.

We have a limit of about £25 for gifts, but the parents buy what ever they want for the children. Don't mind requests or suggestions. My Mum and I usually arrange between us what to get for our DHs and we always tell (ask) each other what we would like - and then buy a little extra gift as a surprise!

When they were little, my niece and nephew got so many gifts for Christmas that my SiL used to keep some back to open later on a rainy day (not gifts from close family). 32 sounds OTT to me and I suspect the parents have got carried away and maybe it won't happen again.

sorry that sentence got a bit mixed up

Hi this is my first post,though I've been reading forum for a short time. My grandchildren get so much at Christmas and I wanted to give them some memories,so we buy them theatre tickets as a gift and take them out for tea before the show or pantomine usually in the couple of weeks after Christmas. It gives them time with us and is also an introduction to the arts

I so agree RAF. And the true spirit of Christmas giving has been lost these days. I was shocked yesterday when one DD put in a request for her Xmas gift to the other DD, but other DD perfectly ok with it. I have always thought you allow should other people to give you what they think will make you happy, and do the same for them. But that's old fashioned now.

Not wishing to hijack this thread, but DS tells me he doesn't want any presents for birthday or Christmas, and thinks the whole family should just give presents to the children.

I feel somewhat hurt, because to me a present is a way of saying 'I love you' (and you don't need to do it 32 times at once!) and it doesn't have to cost much. It truly is the fact that you have thought about them, and taken the trouble to wrap and send it or taken it round if you are near enough.

Goodness me 32 presents! All my grandchildren have so much anyway that I have to ask for ideas but I'm sure they don't get that many from their parents!!

The problem is that 4 of the children have birthdays in November and December respectively so it is an expensive time. My absolute ceiling for expenditure is £30 per child which I think buys a really good present from their list. I don't always spend quite that much though.

One problem I face is that I don't like some of the items that are asked for...I try hard to find something that might be of interest for longer than Christmas Day.

Leticia I should like to meet these children who only want time!!

In Prima I saw a DIL complaining that her parents in law did not give her things she liked. She was advised to give them a wishlist! Good grief. I have got to the stage that reading about such demands for Christmas is sad. Our own DCs, DGS and all the family are anything but demanding, I knit Estonian socks for the girls and their friends all ask for them too so they must like them. I can afford only £15 per close family members and would prefer and ask for no more than £10 amazon or other voucher, I can buy a much wanted book or other treat with that and be delighted. They do give me more but I live in hope! DH does not involve or contribute anything nor ever has done, he doesn't believe in presents though always seems very happy to accept. It's so sad that so much pressure is put on people to give such massive gifts.

hear hear, I couldn't have said it better. NO advertising aimed at children is the norm in most European countries, and so it should be.

Price yes- but even more, they should not be allowed to show the inanimate toys perform amazing stunts that the toy is just, obviously, incapable to do- but a child does not realize that. A couple of years ago we bought a toy with a wild rider on a wild bike our GS wanted- but he was so disapointed that it could not do all the stuff shown in the advert- he tried and it broke up. We fixed it and it has been on top of a shelf ever since. It is plain fraud and should be taken on by Trades Description Act.

Children are bombarded with adverts all year round but even more so at Christmas. I agree that we should start a campaign to stop this. We don't watch children's television very often (we tend to play or talk) but when the children are with their mum they have SKY and watch all the commercial children's channels. It seems that most of the programmes are simply long adverts for the spin offs.

Children see a fantastic looking toy but they don't see the price tag. The adverts make it look amazing and the child gets the 'absolutely have to have' feeling.

At the same time as the advertisers are working on the children another group is working on the adults persuading them that giving children 'stuff' equates to being a good parent.

We need to break the power of the advertisers. The only way to do this is to legislate because there is no way they would restrain themselves.

IMO

There should be no advertising aimed specifically at children

There should be no advertising on children's television or between programmes that are specifically made for children.

Toy advertising should be realistic.

Toy advertising should be shown after the 9pm watershed.

The price of the toy should be prominently displayed during the advertisement.

A campaign should be started which teaches that being a good parent is not about providing 'stuff' but about sharing time.

Children want time- they do not want to be showered with material goods.

Or that they'll come to appreciate a more thoughtfully chosen gift (as I'm sure yours are) than a bunch of presents given to, maybe, impress others or win greater affection.

32 presents! Way too much, IMO! Or are some of them small items, maybe stocking gifts? That would make it more reasonable.

However, even if there were 12 of those, as GA mentioned, that would still mean 20 regular presents - still OTT in my book! Even if some of them are smaller and less expensive than others, it's wholly unnecessary and too overwhelming for a younger child. I feel as if the parents are doing this more to fill some need of their own than for the child.

Nothing you can do about it, of course. Just please stick to your own sensible plan for gifts and hope that the kids come to care more about the time they spend with you than the "things" you may bring.

I read somewhere that four presents was a good guideline
Something they want
Something they need
Something to wear
And something to read
Seems a simple mantra to me!

32 presents is far too much. When I was a single mother I spend £50 each on DD and DS and they were happy. This icluded their "big" present. Stepchildren and Children are now over 18. Two of them have children so now they just get a tin of sweets and we buy presents for the GC. Single grown up children get about £30 worth of presents. With 5 children between me and DH we just cannot afford to spend a lot of money. We always have a wonderful Christmas spending it with family,playing board games and eating too much.

Our grandson gets nowhere near 32 presents and, as he has a November birthday it could well be that he got a lot of presents very close together if we didn't exercise some restraint. Most of his presents are quite modest but he does get the odd thing during the year as a lot of developing goes on between Christmas and his following birthday. We also spend on things like his little music class and will maybe need to spend more cash if he decides to play a musical instrument later on. At 3 he doesn't need much, only people to play with him with the presents he does get.
Our biggest problem is when to give. Mother is Brazilian (24th), father English (25th) and they live in Spain (6th January). So far the Brits are winning!

Magazines which arrrve by post gave great pleasure last year. Aquila monthly for 8 year old and this year Okido for almost 6 year old which comes each 2 months being tried. Relying on sensible DD and DDIL for other ideas without breaking bank.

Dancinggran, absolutely, we have had several threads in the past from distressed parents/grandparents saying 'I did/gave my DC everything they could ever want, why do they treat me so badly now?'

I thought my GC got lots of presents but they don't get 32 each even when all added together. However it is the parents choice but in future years maybe something they wish they hadn't done.

Are the 32 from the parents "from Santa", or in addition to the ones from Santa????
We used to buy presents from Santa which would appear under the tree on Christmas morning and our son would then receive one or two from us.
He was a bright spark and we thought that if he saw us exchanging gifts he might ask why we hadn't got him a present! (There was also something small for each of us "from Santa".)
Think we were right, because when he was still quite young he got upset that we hadn't sent him a Valentines card and wanted to know why we didn't love him!! Bless.

Anyway, perhaps they could split the 32 - lots from Santa, because if the child is old enough the look of wonder when they see a pile that have appeared overnight is magical, then some given by parents.