mealtimes

I'm late to this conversation, I know. Just want to say that I hope you had a fun weekend, SallyWragg and as PPs advised, didn't stress over what GS was eating.

About the idea of saying his Mum cooked something - Is it possible, in the future, for Mum to actually do that? Cook some food for him and send it with him? That way it wouldn't be a lie.

My main concern about lying to him is that Mum might find out and be mad. That, of course, could cause problems for you. If you ever do decide to use this otherwise harmless deception (in my opinion), please check with Mum first and see if she's ok with it.

I have my grandson every Thursday after school and he every week he eats potato waffles, eggs and beans all mixed up together. His 4 year old sister grazes on pasta, cheers, hard boiled eggs and cucumber. Does it matter? What is important is that they build a store of happy memories of being with us. Let the parents worry about balanced diets and nutrition.

We used to find that a 'snacky treaty' tea (as they called it) worked really well. Bread sticks, cheese -especially Babybel- grapes, apple, carrot sticks, little sausages, raisins etc and just let them eat what they wanted. Surprising how much disappeared!

What is so nice about plain pasta?My 2 DGS and my DGD love it instead of potatoes. Such a lot of good advice on here but I go with the give him a sandwich if that's what he'll eat. It worked for me, even if 2 pieces of bread, no butter, with ham or salami doesn't appeal to me. Nowadays he eats a lot more. I do find it difficult though when I remember the eat it or have nothing that worked ( much as I disliked it at the time ) for us until I met school dinner meat, which turned me into a vegetarian for a long time.
Good luck.

Maybe it isn't just a case of not eating the food you cook at your house, but that he feels a bit special coming to grandma's and being able to eat just what he likes ie a sandwich - it will probably seem like a treat for him.

Maybe a stress situation on both your parts. Give him his cheese and ham sandwich with a smoothie fruit drink. Put the other savoury food on the table so he can add to his plate and maybe he will ask for it when he sees you eating it. But not sweet things,

Hope your weekend with your grandchildren is going well Sally

I've come late to this but just thought I'd throw my threepenny-worth of experience with this into the pot. It's a bit of a b****r when you've cooked a meal you know they like (they eat it at home) and they start faffing around isn't it? This is what works for me.

All I do is separate off a tiny portion of everything (eg 3 peas, a teaspoon of potato and meat) from the meal on the plate and tell them if they eat that they can leave the table.

No mention of anything else to eat instead, though I will offer fruit or yoghurts later on if they ask for it.

This always works as the portion is minuscule that I want them to eat as a token gesture and I personally don't worry if they don't seem to have eaten 'enough' as they always come to the table good and hungry next meal.

Our 5yr old GS will often say that he only wants a sandwich. That sandwich is buttered and is packed with ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, coleslaw and chopped peppers. Much more than was on his plate!

He will NOT and never has, eaten crusts.

My brother wouldn't eat sago pudding until it was served up one day as 'rice pudding'. He ate the lot - and we have all laughed about it years later, including him. wink

Well. wink didn't work!!

I've just got back from DD2 s and my adored GS who is 11 is still playing up at mealtimes and despite my own good advice I am very stressed about it as his parents do nothing to correct it and its rude! He puts his head on the table and refuses to speak if things are not to his liking. I even at great personal sacrifice (hate that kind of food) went to Nandos with them on Saturday , its his favourite place and he sulked there I really was getting very cross. DD2 wants us to go the them next Xmas but I dread it. DS hates roast dinner, in the middle of last years dinner DD2 got up and made him a macaroni cheese which he then did not eat. Aargh!!!

I am late to this discussion too but it's an on-going one for me too! My 4 year old dgs is small for his age (but seems healthy and active, and comes from families of short people both sides) but he is a nightmare to feed. The problem seems to be with his parents - my dd tries very hard to make healthy food for him that he'll like but when he refuses to eat any dinner, his father gives in (even eating some of dgs's food!) and lets him have pudding. I can't do much about what happens at home and usually when dgs is with us his mum & dad are here too. I try to make things I think he'll like but if he's already been filling up on snacks like bread sticks or chocolate (not given by me!), of course he's not hungry. I try to have lunch/dinner early when he's here as he will be over New Year's so he hasn't had time to get too hungry but it always is a little stressful.

Like others have suggested, I try not to make a big deal of it and figure that as he does seem a healthy, happy, bright little boy he must be getting enough to eat. I can remember going through a phase when I was young of only wanting to drink milk and eat dessert. My mother didn't make a fuss and just let me get on with it as I did when my son seemed to survive on milk for several months. I'm trying to do the same with dgs (just doesn't help when he sees he's creating a little drama between his parents!)

Ham sandwich. Stop worrying.

It might not help solve the problem, but "Bread and Jam for Frances" by Russell Hoban is a lovely story dealing with a similar situation. You never know....

My gorgeous Dutch GD, initially, finds it tricky at meal times when the family come and stay. However, I don't worry at all as long as she eats at the table with all of us. Children can survive on toast and jam instead of a main meal for a couple of days. (Her sibling has an amazing appetite). By the third day we're all eating the same meals.

Do the children eat between meals. They get very fussy if they do. Not hungry enough. Also serving themselves works, as a large plate of food sometimes overwhelms them.

I would suggest putting a small amount of the dinner on his plate along with whatever sandwich he likes and say , eat what you like. He won't go hungry and as he will have finished his sandwich before everyone else has finished their meal he might just eat his meat and veg
Time with GC shouldn't be stressed , enjoy every minute they grow up too fast.
Two of my GS's are in their 20's now and I am so glad I made them happy by letting them eat chocolate biscuits for breakfast once in a while

My 2 DDs have such happy memories of their grandparents and not just because Grandpa used to give them lemonade and chocolate biscuits for an early breakfast, when we stayed. I turned a blind eye and let them enjoy that very special relationship. Both have very good teeth and are not overweight!

My 2 DDs have such happy memories of their grandparents, not just because Grandpa used to give them lemonade and chocolate biscuits for an early breakfast, when we stayed. I turned a blind eye and let them enjoy that very special relationship. Both have very good teeth and are not overweight!

I'll probably get lynched for this post but never mind.....we can hardly blame children for their eating habits when we are a nation of junk food/ready meals/sugary snack lovers.

Present company excepted of course

Over 50% of the nation is overweight/obese (which of course is not their fault) and eat what they want to eat rather than foods they know they ought to eat.

Why?

For the same reasons children refuse to eat whatever is given to them and because we have too much choice and don't know the meaning of hunger.

scuttles away to nibble on a broccoli stalk

My lovely DDiL used to drive me crazy by insisting that my two DGDs, when small, needed "snacks" regularly. Result - they never wanted to eat a meal.

Her take on that was that they needed snacks as they didn't eat meals. My take (unvoiced of course) was that if they didn't have snacks they'd eat meals. The elder one is now vegetarian but the younger eats normally. I'm glad I managed to smile sweetly and just go along with DDiL!

I totally agree with your point about "snacking" Gagagran.

My DH passed away just three days ago after years of ill health. My DD's marriage has also just gone south so now , to my (hidden, I hope) dismay, she and her two extremely picky children have moved in with me. I have to ensure somehow that this does not go on and on, for the sake of my sanity. For the last six years my life was more and more swallowed up as more and more time was needed to take care of DH. I feel now I am not happy to give up my life any longer to care for others. I need to get my freedom back and do some of what I want to do. Is that selfish? Really can't bear the thought of being tied down again and coping with I don't likes and I'll eat that maybes and all sorts of good food ignored and wasted And noise. And mess. Oh dear. I've had enough now.

MeggyMay you do sound very down, which is not surprising given your circumstances. Do post again on one of the bereavement threads such as 'How long after bereavement does it stop hurting?' and I'm sure there will be others who can try to help you. This probably isn't the right place. I'll put a link up for you.

This is it:

www.gransnet.com/forums/ask_a_gran/1221787-How-long-after-bereavement-before-it-stops-hurting