How involved were you with your children's weddings?

None of my children are married although both daughters have grown children, my son will probably marry at some point but I don't expect to be involved with the planning much as they live abroad and future dil is surrounded by her family and friends whom I'm assuming will be much more involved than me or my family.
I'm won't be disappointed as its their wedding and I'm sure my ideas wouldn't be as grand as I expect their wedding day to be and I'll have enough trouble dressing myself suitably never mind ideas about anything else. I'll be happy to just fly over and take part.

DD1 and her fiancé were so busy at the time- they just said- Mum can you organise it, you know what we like! So I did- checking from time to time before making 'big' decisions. They just loved it and many friends and relatives still say it was the best wedding they'd gone to ever.

Oakham Castle + Normanton Hall on Rutland Water.

The George Inn, Stamford.

DD2 was more hands on, but again asked for my help and support- so I gave it, on her instructions though. Again a fabulous day.

DH, I and her maternal GM paid for every thing as they had no money (the only thing her squaddie DH paid for was the ring) So everything had to be run past us but they decided venue, food, colours etc. I did give opinions and advice as I thought I was entitled
Her MiL wasn't the least interested and didn't approve of them marrying anyway.

Not in any way shape or form with DS!!

Hang on to the thought that, although she may not take up your suggestions, it doesn't mean that she hasn't appreciated them. She's probably taken them on board and considered them! Her opinions just differed from yours!!

Enjoy the day

Go with the flow - at least she is involving you. It is inevitable that they will have their own ideas and they are the ones that matter. Be glad that she is talking with you about it, even if your ideas do not tally with hers. I am sure that she sees it as good manners, especially as you are contributing financially. But that does not mean that your thoughts carry more weight - sorry that sounds harsh, but that is how it is! She will be your DIL for a long time (I hope!) so do not get off on the wrong foot! I think the point in asking your advice is to get a range of ideas and opinions from which to make up their own minds.

My DDs made up their own minds about what they would do - we did chat a lot about it all - but it was their views that counted in the end, and I can assure you that they did not take up akl my ideas!

I hope it is a lovely memorable day - an exciting time for you all.

Oh dear the wedding trap! they ask you because they are being polite but really they (usually the bride0 wants total control Have you ever see the TV series Bridezillas? Hilarious and scary at the same time. DD1 wanted no intervention whatsoever she paid for it all - it was the second time and I have had no input to GD1s wedding in July - I have had the colour I want to wear approved - mustn't clash with the bridesmaids or M of the B's outfit and been told I must wear a hat even though its in a hotel - bit daft but I will put something on my head. DD2 let me 'assist' as she had just had a baby and was exhausted and I was paying.

Try not to let it get to you it is their day. If I were you I would focus on your own fabulous outfit and smile sweetly. Good Luck with it all.