I think it depends on your relationship with your DIL. Reading your post, I don't get the impression that it's particularly good. In which case, contacting her in some way yourself could well result in a bad reaction and further antagonism towards you, which would make the relationship even more difficult. It might be best to maintain a distance away, and let legalities take their course - cold, I know, but perhaps best in the long run. However, I don't have experience of a situation like this and perhaps other people have had similar problems and can let you know how they dealt with it. I do hope you manage to resume contact with your grandchildren. It must be heart-breaking for you at the moment 
When a political leader lies on their CV - can you trust them?
