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Now I've heard it all!

(55 Posts)
Marmight Fri 19-Feb-16 03:52:50

Youngest DGC has just started pre school, 2 days a week. This morning for the first time she was keen to go, so she 'packed' her bag and then had a melt down : 'but I must take my iPad'. iPad? Good grief, she's only 3. I didn't have one until I was 63shock (she wasn't allowed to take it tg).
Seriously, I do worry about the amount of i stuff in this house. Eldest has an iPhone, iPod and laptop (required for school use), 2nd has an iPad and an iPhone, 3rd has an iPad. DD has an iPad and an iPhone and SiL has 2 laptops and 2 iPhones and in addition there is an Apple Mac.
Am I justified in being concerned or am I just an old fogey.............?

tiredoldwoman Fri 19-Feb-16 05:23:13

I'm definitely in the old fogey category . I hate techno and all this istuff makes me spit. My 12 year old granddaughter asked for the newest model of phone - to be liked at school !! If you don't have certain makes/ models you're shunned .
At coffee break at work most people sit playing games or message other people - I find it comical but also a huge intruder in the room . You see it everywhere though - pubs, bus queues, on trains . It's changing social interaction ?

loopylou Fri 19-Feb-16 06:35:16

Definitely another old fogey here.
My friend's family even 15 years ago would all sit in the same room emailing or texting each other rather than talking. It was so bizarre to me that I stopped visiting her because nobody would actually talk!
Sadly she now has the most dysfunctional family I've ever met.

I hate seeing people glued to their iPhones etc everywhere you go.

Marelli Fri 19-Feb-16 06:54:44

I feel the same. When DGD and her partner visit for a meal, they don't look at their phones unless a message comes through, but my daughter of nearly 50 is on her's nearly all the time when she's here. If we're talking on her landline, I can tell that she's on her laptop or Smartphone whilst talking to much for my scintillating conversation.... hmm

Imperfect27 Fri 19-Feb-16 07:05:03

You are definitely justified.

As a teacher, it really is alarming to learn time and again from tired pupils that they 'spent all night on my tablet' or 'Love Youtube' - definitely not safe or suitable for 9 year olds! Many don't want to play outdoors after school - a lot of them say that their favourite way to 'relax' is on their tablet. A high proportion of 10 year olds have Facebook accounts - illegal, but encouraged by parents.

When we go out for a meal we focus on each other. If you look around a restaurant these days you will see the majority of couples checking their phones / texting. Young children out with their families are often sat with a DVD playing in front of them. They are not being taught to socialise and they are not being talked to.

Quite aside from the worries about language development and social interaction, these devices cost hundreds of pounds and I am constantly amazed at seeing little children handling / playing with such expensive equipment.

Someone recently gave me a bag of soft baby toys, suitable for up to 2 years, but it also included an old mobile phone. That won't be getting any daylight.

Don't get me wrong - I think the internet is a wonderful thing and opens a world of education, but I think we are brewing very negative social and educational implications through allowing devices to babysit children.

There - rant over ...

janeainsworth Fri 19-Feb-16 07:07:04

Well, I think it's marvellous. I'm sitting here in bed drinking my cup of tea talking to you lot grin
I've just read an update on Northumberland County Council's Core Strategy that was posted into a local Faceboik Group - something I would probably have not got to see if it weren't for social media.

I'm sure grans 100 years ago were wringing their hands about the introduction of telephones!

Imperfect27 Fri 19-Feb-16 07:20:09

Ha ha - you are right. It's not technology that is the problem - it is how it is used. Doubtless there will be many books written ...

morethan2 Fri 19-Feb-16 07:23:40

I just feel a little sad about it all. All those chats with the children on the way to school, the gossip at the bus stop or wherever, the idle banter in a shop or bar. The family talk built intamicy between us all. I found out what was bothering somone with a walk or over a cup of tea. Worked much better than a confrontation of "what's wrong with you?"type. It ironed out loads of problems. Those conversations with colleagues and strangers made us realise how people tick and they were good fun and I learnt a lot. Human face to face interaction is really important imo. The other thing I often wonder is What the bloodyhell do they find to talk about 24/7. Is it them showing the world 'look at me I'm so popular while I'm walking around the supermarket'. I do realise that our grandchildren have learn to live in the world the way it is today and the tommorow and not in the way It was in our day but.......I'm shutting up now I'm sounding like a proper grumpy old women. I'm off to prepare myself for a day with three under sevens. There'll be no iPads while their with me . Wellies on we're off to the woods.
Forced grin

Greyduster Fri 19-Feb-16 08:14:14

I despair. I used to have a rule that when the DC and their SOs came to visit, phones et al would be stowed away for the duration, but gradually that rule seems to have gone by the board. DS and SiL are the worst culprits. I think with SiL it gives him an excuse not to have to make conversation! DD and DiL have the good manners not to do it. Perhaps because the girls like a good face to face gossip! I never thought to see DH spend as much time on his phone as he does now, but at least he doesn't do it in company. My grandson is nine and has his father's old iPhone to play games on, but, like his access to the iPad, it is strictly rationed - pity his parents can't be similarly disciplined in their use of technology. I'm not a Luddite; I would hate to be separated from my iPad, but, like my phone, it's a means to an end, not the be all and end all!

LullyDully Fri 19-Feb-16 08:14:39

My son had to take his GoyGoy ( a bit of cloth he used for comfort. ) How times change!

cornergran Fri 19-Feb-16 08:19:59

Technology is a good thing - in it's place. I'm reminded of the debates over television when our children were growing up bOurs didn't have one in their rooms until well into their teens. Some of their friends had their own from very small. We turned off the main TV if anyone called to see us - still do. Other families did it differently. Our DGC are very comfortable with phones, an iPad and computer. Often show me how to do things. They don't have their own, the eldest is10. Their use is age appropriately restricted for which we are so grateful. Their parents do use phones or other devices constantly, sometimes we think too much but not at meals or during conversation. It's about balance I guess. Our DGC must be comfortable with the tools of everyday life but so much better if they are taught to keep them in their place and also have fun in other ways.

Maggiemaybe Fri 19-Feb-16 08:30:13

Technology is wonderful, but we need to be masters of it, not let it master us. On a 40 minute bus ride yesterday, the little boy across the aisle from me sat staring glumly out of the window whilst his dad had his face in his screen the whole journey without once looking up. His son - around 9 - plucked at his dad's sleeve to let him know their stop was coming up and got his head bitten off for it. I felt so sad for him. We seem to be tolerating some dangerously addictive behaviour here.

glammanana Fri 19-Feb-16 08:37:41

Poor boy i wonder if he gets any attention at home or are they all glued to their facebook/iphones screen 24/7

Imperfect27 Fri 19-Feb-16 08:47:41

This is what worries me - we see children at the school gate in buggies, parents ignoring them, listening to music / playing on their phones instead. The government has a list of 'school ready' targets they want children to have met by aged 4+, including simple things like putting on a coat, fetching shoes and asking / answering simple questions - and being potty trained ...
Last year nearly 50% of our intake didn't reach these targets - nine were not properly potty trained, 2 parents suggested their children must have a bowel problem ... hmmmm ...

We need to ask what is massively impacting on parenting standards and I think overuse of technology is definitely part of the problem.

FarNorth Fri 19-Feb-16 08:54:11

I read somewhere that most adults believe that the world is just the same as when they were young, but with a few new-fangled aberrations, and that we need to recognise how the world actually is.

(That's not a criticism of any of the views on here, btw.)

Neversaydie Fri 19-Feb-16 09:31:44

Interesting that my 30 yr old DD 1 recently commented to me at a station that 'it was nice to see a child reading a book'
Devices banned from the table in our house-I don't care who it is.And I want to reprimand anyone I'm with who is constantly checking their phone ...have a friend same age as me who is the worst offender
The cost is another matter .Would I phone but cant justify cost .Fine if they can pay for it themselves.I agree they do need to be technologically savvy though

NonnaW Fri 19-Feb-16 09:50:23

I am aware that both myself and DH spend a lot of time with our noses buried in screens (is that possible?) but when we spend time with DGS we are totally focus send on him, as is his mum, except when showing us photos of him on her phone! I remember being horrified when told that my GD was getting a mobile at around 7. She is now coming up for 14 and has every bit of technology you can think of, iPod, iPhone, laptop, now a camera that her dad bought her for Christmas. No doubt a new fad will come along soon.p that she will just have to have

Maggiemaybe Fri 19-Feb-16 09:51:27

I'm not really sure what you mean, FarNorth confused I feel the world I grew up in was, for a child, a lot closer to the one my grandparents grew up in than it is to my grandsons' world. The changes over the last 60 years have been mind-blowing. And that, for the DGS, is a very good thing - they're not likely to know the horrors of an earth closet or the isolation hospital, for starters! We still need to acknowledge, and tackle, the negative effects that all these advances have brought with them.

Craftycat Fri 19-Feb-16 09:51:34

My 18 month old grandson can start my phone & find a game. I find this scary. I hasten to add I only know as I saw him doing it- I never showed him how to do it. His 6 & 4 year old siblings have their own tablets- children's ones- that they can only access certain things from & of course he has learnt from them. Some of the games are very educational I know & the elder is a whiz on Minecraft which also has an element of learning to it (he is only has access to the lower levels- not the zombie things!). My elder GC are on them constantly. They are not allowed at meal times or in my car- I want to TALK to them.
I am a great believer in technology- my husband works in it & I have all the gadgets available & wouldn't be without them BUT I do think children should learn the old ways first.
My elder GS was doing his homework last week on his tablet to send to his teacher to mark. It was maths & it stated he had 10 seconds to answer each question. I said I'd have trouble doing it in that time & he replied- ' Grandma- there is a pause button!' What is the point of that?
In it's place it s amazing but I think children use it far too much

Maggiemaybe Fri 19-Feb-16 09:53:06

And now I guess I'd better switch the iPad off and get out of bed....grin

cherryblossom Fri 19-Feb-16 10:00:27

Yesterday friend came for coffee along with her 3 lovely GS's after about 5 minutes why is the TV not on? after about 30 GM gave in and got all 3 iPads from her car. To be fair only on the condition they be kept on silent. Original plan had been a visit to park but eldest (10) had sprained his ankle and was in pain so best to stay indoors with it elevated. They were all disappointed as football mad?

Lillie Fri 19-Feb-16 10:03:26

I agree with all the posts here, you're right Imperfect, it's how technology is used, not technology itself. I think we need to embrace it as an educational and informative tool, I think it is brilliant for communication, purchasing online etc. I even think young children should have access to it because it will always be part of their lives. I also believe the younger they learn how to use it the better. I'm not overly worried either by the lack of genuine face to face contact ..... so I think what I'm saying is, while acknowledging the downsides, I am not old fogey about it.

adaunas Fri 19-Feb-16 10:04:51

Love technology. It means access to so much information and so many exciting ways for all of us to learn instead of text books BUT I agree with the OP other posters' concerns though. I work with children who are poor readers who 'don't have time to read' but are glued to their tablets. Parents say he/she doesn't like reading but get annoyed when I suggest that we only tend to like doing things we are good at, and to be good at something needs practice. Children who have been reading with me daily are suddenly much better and keener.

Thingmajig Fri 19-Feb-16 10:09:49

There's a time and place for everything.
Our 2 year old DGD enjoys using the iPad for stories and games. She can switch on her parents phones, do the passwords and find her games.
When we have her she is allowed the iPad for 2 games or stories and then it's put away again and she has no trouble getting on with her drawing or play doh instead. We also limit her tv watching as they do at home.

I think she can learn a lot from playing her wee games, she's already expert at swiping, tapping on arrows to move the page forward and the games we have teach her colours, matching and counting. She's so funny with it though, she carries it over to grandad very, very carefully then hands him his specs!!! ?
Technology is a great educational tool, but it shouldn't be the only one!

harrysgran Fri 19-Feb-16 10:25:20

Makes me sad I can't remember when I last saw my DGS aged ten not glued to some technology laptop, iPhone, xbox he has been on a weeks holiday from school and has barely wanted to cross the doors we are bringing up a generation of unsociable unfit kids I used to like nothing better than seeing my own children running about playing outside with rosy cheeks now children don't want to play outside and communicate with friends by using face time.