posting a question

Whatever you do, don't let them know that you care about whether they love you or not. Kids can be knowing little buggers and if they get the chance they will play you for all they're worth.

Just carry on regardless. Take a good book or a mag to read some of the time when you are minding them. Don't exhaust yourself trying to get into their good books. Not worth it. Play with them only for as long as you are enjoying it? If they are rude or misbehave in any way, tell them off. And don't wrap it up. They will come round later.

Look after you.

Let it drift by if you can - I know it is hard, especially as you sadly no longer have your husband there to let off steam about it to. I really do think that you would be best ignoring your DGD's behaviour - it is likely just a passing phase and the less notice you take the better. I am sure it will pass.

The whole feeling that one grandma is favoured over the other is something that flits into most grandmother's minds at times; but children have different relationships with each of them and enjoy different things with each. The important thing is not to let any hint of what you feel creep out to the child or any other member of the family, because it will then become a problem for everyone - no doubt the little monkey would play on this - as children do!

I am sure that all will be well. Please do not brood on this and let it make you unhappy.

Hi Deedaa
Thanks for taking time to reply. I'll take your advice and let you know I get on.

I suspect your grandaughter's behaviour will turn out to be a passing phase. don't try and make her be nice to you, just carry on quite normally. Rudeness won't be half as much fun if she doesn't get a reaction.

The other grandma may have an advantage at the moment with the toys, but when they get older there may be all sorts of things that you will be better at. Helping them with reading or drawing, or perhaps just knowing some really interesting stories.

This is my first post and I'm sure I'll sound a neurotic grandma! I am a 72 yr old widow having lost my lovely hubby nearly 4 yrs ago. My daughter and son in law have a 5yr old boy and 4yr old girl and live 10 miles away. Because I am on my own I stay over from Monday evening to Wednesday to mind the children while my daughter works. The other grandma,who lives just up the road, minds them on Mondays.Now comes the "stupid" bit. My grandson has always been very close to his other grandma (I truly have no idea why -except she does buy them both lots of toys etc!). However, my little grandaughter, who has always been very close and loving towards me ,has also suddenly started being a bit rude and sullen around me yet every time other grandma's around she's quite loving towards her. I now feel I am 'losing' both of my grandchildren. I know I sound very jealous but don't know how to handle this snd would be very glad of any comments.

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Do it again, depending which forum it relates to.