Dummies

My DS was taken into the night nursery when he was 8 hours old as I was very ill and needed to rest properly (not my idea I hasten to add, the Dr insisted on it).
When I went to get him at 5-30 the next morning, he had a dummy in.....I was furious, they had no right to give him a dummy, which they knew was against my wishes!
Even that one night seemed to get him 'hooked' on a dummy, and it was the only thing that would get him to sleep, which I wasn't happy about, but gave in.
I made sure he had orthodontic dummies, recommended by our dentist, and were only used at sleep time.
When he was 7 months old I honestly couldn't find any of his dummies. They were always kept in their cases on top of the bread bin, but there was no sign of them. I think he sensed the true panic in my voice as I explained as well as I could that the 'dubs' were lost, and went to sleep quite happily without one.....phew!
I found them about an hour later, they'd slipped into the gap between the bread bin and the wall! I kept them hidden for a few weeks 'just in case' but we never needed one again!
I loathe seeing dummies in the mouths of toddlers walking about, and have even seen reception class children walking go school with a dummy in......that's just ridiculous!

i think dummies can be good if used right a baby dummies should never go in any ones mouth or pick up from floor and put back in mouth and i agree toddlers should not have dummies or bottles

Whenever I see a dummy in a baby's mouth I think "there's a baby whose parents want it to shut up".

DD always took the view that if DGS was crying there was something bothering him and it was her job to put it right. She herself found her thumb when quite young, but that's self-soothing rather than an outside agency (parent) "putting a sock in it".

My children never had a dummy, or my grandaughter think they look awful in child's mouth. Does no good to their teeth at all.

I sucked my thumb until I was 18 when a boyfriend I later married expressed surprise. Up to then it gave me great comfort. My grandson has just been weened from his dummies he agreed to leave them in the woods for a mummy squirrel to take for her babies - sweet

I think dummies are fine but they should stay in the cot/bed not be used all day, especially by children old enough to talk! My first child sucked her thumb and that was difficult to stop. The others had a dummy and there was no problem getting rid of it. Once they were about 12 months old and when the dummy had worn out I got them to put it in the bin. When they asked for it I reminded them they had thrown it away and there was no problem.

Young babies have a fundamental need to suck. Our lifestyles don't support having a baby constantly at the breast so a dummy or thumb is a substitute. All three of mine were breastfed and my older two also had dummies. Unfortunately, my 2nd child was so happy sucking the dummy she couldn't recognise the need for milk and slept quite contentedly! I had to wrench the dummy out of her mouth with a great plopping sound and rapidly push my nipple in its place as she rooted around trying to find it! She would suck a bit then cry for the dummy. This pull/push routine was repeated until my milk let down when she became expert at guzzling but then the dummy was required again. When my youngest came along, midwifery had moved on and he was put to the breast within minutes of being born. He wouldn't ever tolerate anything artificial in his mouth so never had a dummy or bottle. All three were lovely, placid babies and the older two gave up the dummy around 18 months/2years, when they could understand and agree that the current one was the last. They each, voluntarily put the final dummy in the bin from where they knew things never came out again. The youngest gave up the breast at about the same age.

So dummies can have drawbacks but so can thumb sucking. As a child, I had a friend whose sister sucked her thumb for years and it became rather shrivelled looking. That, and the slobber running up her arm, put me off encouraging my babies to suck thumb or fingers ? I don't think it looks any worse to see a toddler sucking a dummy than sucking their thumb and, as others have pointed out, the dummy is easier to give up.

None of our family ever used dummies, I think I was about 10 years old before I saw a baby with one. When I asked my mother what it was she said it was what common people used to keep their children quiet.I never used them for my children, I had seen the damage to the dental arch of young children especially those that continued to use them when they were toddlers.

Must add to my previous post that I am talking 50 years ago and dummies are better designed now, with probably low risk to teeth.

In a school staffroom one break-time, when I was a supply teacher, I was astonished to see a young female teacher put her thumb in her mouth and twiddle her hair with the other hand!

I too was a dummy snob with a husband who was adamant that our children wouldn't have them. None of them did but we had a variety of thumb and finger suckers.

However, DGS2 had dreadful colic and was so much better when he had a dummy. End of dummy snobbery here!

All 4 of mine had dummies, only for sleep time though, and they gave them up at varying ages up to age 2. Far worse than dummies with toddlers, is the bottle hanging out of their mouths as they go about their daily business, especially with tea or coffee in it!!

My own children declined to have dummies, but the first sucked his thumb and that has proved a very hard habit to break. My 21 month old granddaughter has found a dummy very soothing and still has it when she's tired. It has in no way impeded her speech development which is coming along extremely well.
I agree with those who say that dummy (pacifier is a much nicer word) can be thrown away but not so a thumb! My husband, who is a dental surgeon does not disagree!

Missdeke. , we once had a toddler come to our school with a bottle. He could only have been 12 - 18 months. The bottle contained Coca Cola.

I too was a dummy snob, DS1 was a difficult baby and cried a lot. I was desperate enough to give him a dummy. He spat it straight out and I was relieved. With DS2 I I gave him a dummy. When he spat it out I put it back in a held it fir a few moments for him to get the idea. I enjoyed his babyhood more, and he got a lot if comfort.
Do you remember a few years ago there was a brief fashion for teenage girls to have a dummy in their mouth as a fashion accessory. How horrid!

Bottles of coke are possibly the worst thing anyone could give a child! Both mine had dummies - the eldest used to cry constantly during the night so it was the only thing that got him back to sleep again. The youngest developed a habit of putting the plastic surround inside his bottom lip which we found an impossible to break but neither of them had any problems giving them up around 2 - 3 years old. I don't remember either of my granddaughters having them and my little grandsons definitely don't. Eldest one does have his rabbit blanket which he drags around everywhere with him and can't get to sleep without it - my DIL has to sneak it out of his bed at night to wash the stinky thing

Dummies can be a great comfort for some babies when over-tired or poorly, and provide respite for exhausted parents BUT terrible when used to keep children quiet during normal daily activities including socialing.

From years of experience working with children and alongside speech and language therapists I have seen dummies inhibit speech sound development, prevent children from imitating speech and learning to develop conversation skills. Besides which, the message to the child is that their voice is unimportant! I could write an essay but won't!!

Basically I think it's a matter for the parents to decide. Dummy, piece of blanket, whatever.......if it brings comfort, nobody's business but the parents'.

Btw, my daughter had one for years.....beautiful teeth, dentist always complimenting , no speech (or language) problems. She does presentations etc. and is always told how clearly spoken she is. My friend used to nag me about giving my child a dummy (no child of mine would ever have a dummy etc.). Her child wet the bed into adulthood, poor thing. My place to nag her? I don't think so. Horses for courses. A bit of a comforter does no harm,in my opinion.

Every baby is different. Some need them and some don't. As for the mother sucking the dummy to clean it....what the hell is wrong with that? Far better than putting it straight from floor into a babies mouth. Mothers have been cleaning dummies like this forever and will carry on dong it.

When I was expecting DD I went for the usual 12 - week scan, and there she was sucking her thumb! Even the radiologist was surprised. Needless to say she continued with the habit for several years until our (rather scary) dentist told her if she didn't stop she'd have to wear braces and they were really painful, she stopped overnight, but she still has a little lump of scar tissue on her thumb where it rested on her bottom teeth.

My three year old grandson has just given his up. He went cold turkey and also stopped having his cuddly bear at night. I think he reached the age where he knew he didn't want baby things any more. I would never criticise any parent for using a dummy. My grandson was a very poor sleeper and it helped. My mother used to say she'd have given me a big clock if it made me go to sleep!

Everyone should do exactly as they feel right in regard to their own children. If others don't like dummies or seeing children with them in their mouths its a case of too bad. If its not your child its none of your business. I'm guessing if others had come along when your chiildren were young and started dictating how to raise them or whether or not you should use disposable nappies, or bottle or breast etc you would have told them where to go.

So i think my answer to the original poster is that it is your personal opinion. I think all babies are adorable regardless of whether or not they have a dummy and i'm guessing parents who use them could care less that you didn't or about your own personal opinion

Thoroughly agree, peaceatlast!

My twins never had dummies and my DG has given up using hers.