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Grandparenting

Dummies

(65 Posts)
maddy47 Tue 12-Apr-16 18:33:51

Forgive me if this has been discussed before.

Personally, I hate to see babies, and worse toddlers, with dummies. My kids never had them and none of my grandchildren have had them. I especially cringe when baby spits the dummy out, and mum picks it up, sucks it, and pops it back in!

It's my personal 'bete noir' I know, but even the most adorable baby looks far less attractive with a bloody dummy stuffed in its mouth.

Just saying!

Wheniwasyourage Tue 12-Apr-16 18:38:15

Yes, I agree with you. I know that they do help some little ones to sleep, and that's fair enough, but what gets me raging is to see a child who is of the age to be learning to speak, wide awake, and unable to practice using her/his voice because of something wedged in his/her mouth. angry

Welshwife Tue 12-Apr-16 18:43:15

I too hate them and think they can damage the shape of the child's mouth and teeth - very difficult when you see it within the family and cannot really do anything about it!

tanith Tue 12-Apr-16 18:48:13

Hate the things myself but having said that I understand why sometimes they are a useful tool for some parents. Of course there are those who just use them to shut up their baby but when you are sleep deprived and baby won't sleep it can be a last resort saviour. I wouldn't condemn anyone who used one occasionally, but I know its all too easy for baby to become dependant.

Witzend Tue 12-Apr-16 19:01:42

I never ever thought I'd use one. When I was a child, anyone like my mother or granny would tell you snifflily that they were a very 'lower class' thing.

However as a very young baby my dd2 had bad colic, and in desperation I tried a dummy, since I had read that it might give her some relief. And it did seem to, and she carried on with it. We were living overseas at the time and travelled a lot in the summer hols, all over the Uk seeing friends and relatives, and dd2 would happily go to sleep anywhere if she had her dummy and her blanket. TBH it was a godsend from that POV.
She didn't give it up entirely until she started school, but she has beautiful teeth - they were not affected in the slightest.
Dd1, on the other hand, sucked her thumb from a tiny baby and must have been 20 before she stopped entirely. And it did affect her teeth. You never see kids at school sucking dummies, let alone after they've learned to drive. I'd rather a dummy than a thumb any day, and that's something I would never have thought I'd say.

aggie Tue 12-Apr-16 19:12:23

Witz I had the same experience , DS1yapped all the time till he found his thumb ! DD1 16 months later was the same , I stuck the dummy in , she spat it out , and ended up another thumb sucker ! they both needed Braces and dental work , the rest got the dummy and were ok , no braces , and the Dummy Fairy stole the dummies when they were suitable age

Lona Tue 12-Apr-16 19:18:06

My DD had an operation at 4 weeks old, which resulted in her suffering dreadful colic. She could only sleep with a dummy and if she lost it during the night, she would scream and tear her hair out in handfuls! I could not have got through those first two years of broken sleep without the use of the dummy.

pompa Tue 12-Apr-16 19:23:30

Having had a thumb sucker, give me a dummy every time. You can throw a dummy away, cutting thumbs off is a bit drastic.

grannylyn65 Tue 12-Apr-16 19:27:20

And we're off!!!grin

Iam64 Tue 12-Apr-16 19:29:44

I'm another anti dummy snob, until my 2nd sucked two of her fingers till age 3 and youngest a bit of cloth she was devoted to, until age 3. i only stopped that by reading a book the dentist gave me called Daniel gives up sucking his thumb, the advice was read it every night for a week by the end of which the child would agree to give up sucking. It worked like a dream
My grandchildren had dummies so their mums could get some sleep. Works a dream. No need for them to be big toddlers or worse, school age with dummies, as has been said, the dummy fairy comes in the night and takes it away when the child is in appropriate age.

Jalima Tue 12-Apr-16 19:38:12

Witz I would echo your post.
One colicky baby who did not like her thumb, nights spent walking the floor and a dummy soothed her off to sleep. She never had it in the day time and didn't use it after the age of about 20 months when the dummy fairy came and took it for her babies. She has beautiful teeth and talked very early
Next DC sucked a thumb and had to have a brace for a few short months. Likewise good teeth.
Next DC wanted neither. Lovely teeth!

However, I cannot stand to see large toddlers wandering around with dummies in their mouths unable to speak.

Thingmajig Tue 12-Apr-16 19:42:15

My youngest sister sucked her thumb for years ... probably still does in fact when she thinks no one is looking!
I swore that my DD would be having a dummy if her thumb went near her mouth, but she sucked 2 fingers and gave it up naturally around 4 by which time she only sooked when she was tired anyway.

DGD was given a wee dummy in hospital to teach her to suck and it was recommended that she used it when she eventually went home. She has only ever used it for sleeping and when she's in the car. She is 2 yrs 4 months now and is very good at taking it out at the end of her sleep/nap/drive. She also has it if she does an ouchy and a has good crying jag, but again hands it over when she has recovered.
The plan is for her Christmas elf to take them away by which time she'll be newly 3.

I'll never be a dummy fan but as long as they're used properly (for sleeping) and removed at a reasonable age I can tolerate their use.

Ana Tue 12-Apr-16 19:50:53

I'm with those who say a dummy can be a very useful comfort device for an unhappybaby. DD only had one for a couple of months then kept spitting it out - but ended up sucking her thumb until she was 11!

My twin GDs were very fractious babies and dummies were very necessary to allow exhausted parents some sleep. After about 18 months they were only allowed them in the house and you should have seen them rush to find them when they came back home from shopping...grin

The Dummy Fairy came when they were just over 3 and I felt quite sorry for the girls but they soon got used to life without a dummy and neither has ever sucked their thumb.

There is a lot of snobbery about dummies and I admit I hate seeing them in the mouths of children of 4 or 5, some in school uniform being pushed around the supermarket in trollies. Each to their own.

pompa Tue 12-Apr-16 19:54:33

It was her two fingers that our daughter sucked, by the time she stopped her fingers were permanently disfigured.

annodomini Tue 12-Apr-16 20:07:41

Three of my GC had dummies, not so the other two. Now well grown, they are all perfectly normal. I never let my DC have them, but each to his/her own.

JackyB Tue 12-Apr-16 20:35:43

My eldest (bottle fed) was never without his dummy. The other two (breast fed) weren't particularly interested. All three (now in their 30s) have perfect teeth and none of them needed a brace.

Neither of my Dils uses one, and the DGC are all quite happy without. Horses for courses.

Deedaa Tue 12-Apr-16 21:28:09

DD had a dummy till she was three, her brother never took to one at all but did suck his thumb. It took years for his teeth to grow straight when he stopped. GS1 had a dummy but his brother wouldn't have one at all. We've only really used them for sleeping though, I don't see that a child who's out doing something interesting needs a dummy in their mouth.

Newquay Tue 12-Apr-16 22:50:36

Our DD2 cried non stop day and night (well that's what it felt like at the time!) and many is the time I wanted to sellotape a dummy into her mouth cos she just spat the thing out! She eventually had a sucky cloth which she grew out of.
I hate to see dummies in the mouths of toddlers when they're out and about and should be talking.
In church on Sunday (which is usually brill!) there was a much longed for toddler along the row with his DM and DGM with a dummy in all through the service. I wanted to scoop him up, take out dummy and talk and play-I'll get myself arrested yet!
And. . . Next to me was a young woman who chewed her nails all the way through and the young lady in front of me was a manic leg wobbler. Phew I felt drained! Wonder if God was trying to tell me something? . . . . .

Nelliemoser Tue 12-Apr-16 22:54:47

My son sucked his thumb and my daughter her third and fourth fingers. They both had a piece of soft flannelette sheet to cuddle. They were very content babies which was probably down to luck.
DGS 1 was a really miserable grizzler until he was about four months. DD tried a dummy to sooth him but he would not accept anything like a comfort cloth or a dummy. He has fortunately turned out to be a delightful happy and generally laid back 3yr old.

Wendysue Wed 13-Apr-16 02:39:38

I'm another one who would prefer a dummy to thumb/finger sucking for the simple reason that it's easier to break babies of the dummy habit, as far as I can see. However, neither of my DDs would use a dummy - they only wanted me! One of them, eventually, discovered her fingers, though, while the other just got more independent on her own. But if a dummy can soothe a cranky or colicky baby, I'm all for it, no matter how it "looks."

ninathenana Wed 13-Apr-16 08:51:12

I wanted to say something to the mum who sat her toddler back in the trolley after eating in the supermarket café. He was happy, smiling and she immediately stuck his dummy in confused
Mine had dummies, but only to sleep, the dummies stayed in their bedrooms or if they were going to nap in the buggy. S just stopped using his. D gave hers to Santa in exchange for her presents at 3.

Nonnie Wed 13-Apr-16 09:48:59

Isn't there some new research which says it is good for babies to have a dummy? Can't remember, something to do with speech possibly?

yummygran1 Wed 13-Apr-16 10:01:53

Like you maddy47 I hate dummies. Two of my GH had them. My GS had one until recently. During the wedding of his parents, when he was 3 yrs old, he insisted on having it, consequently all the beautiful photos included him with it obscuring his face. His Father tried to take it away but he was having non of it. His Mum said it was better that he had it than him grizzling during the service. So I haven't put any photos of him in my album of wedding pics.

They are having a second baby and DIL says she will give him a dummy too. Why train a child to depend on one and then have the hard job of taking it away when they're older? Neither of my boys had one, one sucked his thumb probably until he was about two and only when he was tired, the other one didn't suck anything. The only thing he liked to do when he was tired was flick the edge of his blanket.

hulahoop Wed 13-Apr-16 10:05:52

Good for sleep deprived parents both mine had one gave them up aged 3 yrs but didn't have them outside I hate to see them when child is quite happy and playing my youngest was given one when 2days old by nurses she needed blood transfusion and it was only way to keep her still so good job I wasn't anti dummy I think thumb/finger sucking takes longer to drop but everyone to their own 👍

SwimHome Wed 13-Apr-16 10:36:02

Mine didn't have dummies because both Grans were screaming at me from day one how awful they were, and that I wasn't to use them. My DIL used them from day one and I felt really envious - an instant way to cheer up a cranky baby and sleep at night, good for her, wish I'd had the strength to tell the Grans where to get off! Aren't they know as 'pacifiers' the other side of the pond? Exactly!