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Any other foster grandparents aroun

(9 Posts)
nannynoo Mon 24-Apr-17 02:03:35

Sorry to resurrect an old thread but I was thinking today as I am my Grandsons ''kinship'' foster carer I still get the same / similar experiences as regular foster carers re when it is time to hand the child back , yet because he is my Grandson who I love to the moon and back the thought of handing him over and watching him walk away from me with all his toys and things packed after him living with me for 2 years is ripping my heart out right now even though I will still SEE him my home will be EMPTY without him and TOO QUIET without him HIS ROOM will be empty most of the time unless his Mum allows him to stay over and I am worried about his 'care' in my daughter's hands unfortunately if he is returned which is looking likely right now but that worry is an extra burden too

When a foster carer lets go of a child who has lived with them and been a part of their life for many months or years it must be hard to let go but imagine it is your Grandchild you have fostered and had live with you for 2 years , waking up to his face , smile and morning kisses EVERY DAY ... And then he has GONE .. Yes you can still visit but it is not the SAME , MY ROUTINE REVOLVES AROUND HIM , AS DOES MY DAY AS DOES MY LIFE right now and he is the absolute JOY of my life and my home will not be the same without him and I will MISS HIM LIKE HELL and seeing him sometimes still will not get rid of the feelings of LOSS sad

Funnily enough when I have recovered from the loss I am planning on becoming a regular foster carer ( I must be mad I know ) but there is no age limit I think and I am 53 but to give the loving input the kid/s need and watch them develop and heal and be HAPPY is a reward in itself and no matter what I know I can be proud of the INPUT I have given and still thankfully am for the time being giving my Grandson who has Autism and it has not been EASY but nothing good comes easy and I have loved seeing him so happy and have and still am enjoying having him with me until ''that day'' comes...

And btw anyone whose Grandkids are taken into care do whatever you can to work with the authorities and show them your capabilities and stability and COMMITMENT because these kids NEED someone who is committed to them even if it is just for a temporary while although living with me or not I will be committed to my Grandson for LIFE <3

Iam64 Fri 12-Aug-16 21:32:33

lj12 - this is an old thread and its title is very different to the kind of help and support you're looking for. It's probably better if you start a new thread asking for help/advice about your grandchild and care proceedings.

there are grandparents on the site who have been in your position and a number of people who have work experience of care proceedings.
If you haven't already seen a solicitor, that is something you need to do.

lj12 Fri 12-Aug-16 14:35:46

Hi im new here i had my grandchild in foster care for the last 3 week a domestic arfmgument got out of hand between daughter and her now ex babys dad shes been put in to care till court proceedings in august dies anyone no if i could apply for a interim order for her its first time in court and sw are asking for care order but i want to care for her shes fretting at the minute any answers much appreciated

Nelliemoser Sun 22-May-16 11:00:33

piggywiggly I have not been a foster parent but really missing them when they move on is a good sign of how much you care for them.

Pigglywiggly Sat 21-May-16 20:54:27

Floradora most of our babies have been removed from their parents, and the parents then fight to get them back. Most are unsuccessful. Some of them have several children either in foster care or who have already been adopted. Adoption is usually the best option for them, but we still find it hard when they go.

Pigglywiggly Sat 21-May-16 20:49:04

We know they will be loved, but it is still hard to let go. Thank you spider. I have just wrapped the 'goodbye present ' and written a card to the adopters congratulating them on getting this baby at last.

spyder08 Sat 21-May-16 17:08:51

Pigglywiggly...I am not a foster grandma but an adoption grandma! Just to reassure you that if others adoption families are like ours, and I am sure they are, the adopted children are very much loved and wanted and will be given the best upbringing possible. We have two daughters one of whom has two "natural" daughters if her own but the youngest daughter and her husband were unable to have their own children. They adopted a little boy at 6 months (he is now 3) and they have just been granted the final adoption papers for a little girl now aged 22 months. Both lots of foster carers are still in touch and have been to birthdays and christenings. My daughter feels it is right to give them the chance to keep in touch with progress and both lots of fosterers have done so.
Foster families do a wonderful job but it must be hard to "let go".
I am just trying to reassure you that these children are very much loved and accepted into their adopting family.

Floradora9 Sat 21-May-16 16:47:14

We fostered babies who were to be adopted in the 70s getting them at 7 days old . They should have been gone in 6 weeks once the mothers ( poor souls ) signed them away but it never worked like that we always had them longer. You had to keep telling yourself they were not ours and we had small chilren of our own who seemed to understand that the babies would go " back " to their own mummies. One little girl we had until she was 6 months old and she cried when any other adult took her , You can imagine what that felt like when she went. You just have to remember what good care the children had in our family but I shed a feew tears each time they went.

Pigglywiggly Sat 21-May-16 11:14:27

We are parents of foster carers, and our role is very much one of foster grandparents.We have two birth grandchildren and currently two foster grandchildren. We look after any combination of children as needed, and try to help out when we can, and the family usually come to lunch on Sundays if we are all available.
Both the foster children are due to move to adopters in the near future.
One is going to join a birth sibling who was also fostered by our family, so we know where he will live, who his parents will be etc. The other is still at the family finding stage.
This is not new for us, but I am already feeling really sad at the thought of losing children who have been part of the family.
Is there anyone else in a similar position?
It is hard for the foster carers, and they need all the support they can get when the transition happens, but it is hard for us too.