Feeling inadequate

Be pleased that your DGS has a loving family. I suspect that OP means other gran is at her DDs house all day as a 'help' in these early days.

My mum and MIL took turns to spend the day with me for the first 2 weeks after I had DD1 as I had surgery after delivery so not as mobile /quick as I might have been! DH home at week ends.

Whilst I really looked forward to that first day home alone with my baby I was grateful to Nana and Grandma for working out my care arrangements! They both adored their granddaughter, first for my mum but number 10 grandchild for Grandma! Different relationships developed and the activities each able to do with her but DD loved them both and remembers both with equal affection. Different does not mean one is better. Different is just that...different!

Just a thought, in the original post Fruitbat did say that she suffers from a chronic illness. Perhaps she has taken a turn for the worst and isn't able to respond at the moment.

She also has my grandson for full days
He's three weeks old and paternal granny has him for full days??

Is your daughter unwell or suffering from pnd? I do hope she is coping with the baby. It seems most unusual for a new mum to let a tiny baby be looked after by granny for full days. Is your DD breastfeeding? That would make it very difficult if the other granny has him at her house.

No. That would be just too hard.

I don't think it's a good thing to nurture the idea that one grandmother may be favoured over the other, as more than one poster has implied.
After all, we wouldn't have a favourite grandchild.
Would we?

When we are poorly we often brood, and feel sorry for ourselves, that's natural. I am sure you are loved and wanted - if you were an annoying, selfish old boot you would not have been asked to accompany the expectant mother to ante- natal meetings. Grandmothers often have unequal relationships with their grandchildren, but kids soon suss who is the most fun. When the child is old enough to appreciate you they will do so, regardless of their relationship with the other granny.

To get back,in a way, to the original thread, my DH and I are the "other" grandparents, as both DD's in-laws live a long way away. We get on very well with them. They have a different, but just as loving and rewarding relationship, with the children to us, and in some ways are more special as visits are rarer.

Re the post controversy, I think my view is that if you don't want to hear people's true opinions, don't post.

People come,
people go;
The stickers are the ones
who go with the flow.

??? being silly in a different way

Please don't anyone leave... I only just got here

Yes jingl, but which posters are put off?
If there is a perception that GN is a) full of non-genuine threads where the OP is secretly having a laugh or b)comments that are trying to help by challenging an OP's ideas are just going to be deleted because they seem not sympathetic enough, then no-one is going to join in any kind of debate or discussion, are they?

You are quite fond of going against the flow and challenging people yourself
#just saying

GNHQ have to protect the site/business. If posters are put off posting, the site flounders.

I think fruitbat really needs to respond on here girls and sooner rather than later.

Lillie I saw your post and couldn't understand why it had been deleted.
I hope yopu'll stick around. Nil carborundum illegitimi!

I wouldn't take it upon myself to respond on behalf of thousands of other posters and lurkers, Obi.
I was speaking for myself, strange as it may seem to you.

Why you should think I am thinking about or speaking merely to you ja, when there are 1000's of posters and readers is beyond me.

Why would someone bother to post on the forum if they already knew the answer they wanted to hear? However, if fruitbat really did want to seek other's opinions before formulating her own ideas on the subject, then like jane I am puzzled as to why has it taken over 3 pages and 3 days now for her to NOT reply?

I also received the message from GN though I certainly never accused anyone of being a tr***. It was the first time I had been reprimanded in this way so was taken by surprise and felt a bit affronted.

The message Forum has a dynamic that evolves as you post. When someone comes along and makes a post and 'stirs up the nest' a little, people can become irritated.

Has anyone considered that poor old fruitbat is too frightened to respond now?

I have been a member of forums previously where people have been allowed to be horrible to other members (not saying anyone on here has) and it divides the forum into 'us and 'them'.

What struck me was how much fruitbat knew about the other Granny's visits. It made me think someone was playing a game trying to making her feel jealous, and winning by the sound of it !

I don't want or need moral instruction from you, obi, thank you.

Meant rowan and jane!

Rowantree Threads about someone's DGS refusing to wear his plimsolls, or the school having unreasonable rules about plimsolls, appear at regular intervals and roughly coincide with half-terms, when mischievous teenagers might be lying around at home with not enough to occupy their minds.

I agree with both pps. And journos trawl social media for stories too.

I'm hoping, but not too optimistic, that the op has simply gone away to ruminate on the responses she's had.

But even if she is overwhelmed, or busy, she could at least log in quickly to say "thanks". Just as an acknowledgement.

She had the time and energy to post in the first place, after all.

Just stick to HQ rules folks. Easier. I should know!
Personally I think they are right
wind-up/tr word no difference

I think HQ's words are spot on.

I do not really care whether the original post was genuine or not but I do care that bags was accused of unkindness when she simply never is unkind. She is the most honest and logical of GNs (hence my name of logi-bags for her) and she is perfectly entitled to express her views and thoughts on any subject which crops up on the forum.

I do not like personal remarks and especially when they are so undeserved.

Ehh, well....it gets us thinking again, so where's the harm, even if it was a non-genuine post? There could be all sorts of reasons why people don't respond to posts.

I'm struggling to understand why 'my DGS won't wear his plimsolls' might be a non-genuine post though.... However strange a post might be, it could well be someone in need of listening ears and support.