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Grandparenting

Photos on FB

(62 Posts)
mernice Wed 01-Jun-16 06:14:50

Is it me, or do other mothers of sons feel a little miffed when DIL posts photos of
'my boys' on social media. No Dad?

Feelthefear Fri 03-Jun-16 21:02:38

I must be misunderstanding, because I thought the op finds it odd that her daughter in law, when posting a photo of her husband and son (i.e. mernice's son and grandson) on fb refers to them as 'her boys'. Which might be a bit of an odd way to refer to your husband (a grown man who you didn't give birth to smile )?

Diddy1 Thu 02-Jun-16 23:34:11

I think this figure of speach is common these days, dont worry, if it is on FB it is the personal page and I think its acceptable to say, "my boys" etc as I say "my Grandchildren", nobody seems to be offended.

Iam64 Thu 02-Jun-16 19:24:12

I'm lucky enough to live fairly near to my grandchildren. I joined Facebook so I could keep in touch with the teenage grandchildren and now we are lucky enough to have babies i the family, I share the joy of their parents who post photographs of their children. I do understand the anxiety many have about posting photographs on face book but with careful use of privacy settings the joy those photographs bring outweigh the risks (for me any way)

janeainsworth Thu 02-Jun-16 19:08:05

Totally agree Anya and Wills.
I'm a long way from all my grandchildren and I love seeing what they're up to as it happens.
It works both ways too - they like to see what Grandma and Grandad are doing too!

willsmadnan Thu 02-Jun-16 16:48:42

To share happy moments with friends and family granny 2016, that's why. I live hundreds of miles from my DD and GS, and i know she can send me photos by email, but the spontaneity of a snap taken on a day out and posted on her F Book page, and to read the comments from other F&Fs is lovely. It somehow brings us all together. And despite what many people fear, F Book pages can be private from the general public.

,

Anya Thu 02-Jun-16 15:51:08

I'm thrilled when my 'children' post photos of my GC on FB as I can copy them my own computer or tablet.

We can't always be there with them but we can share happy moments in this way smile

Granny2016 Thu 02-Jun-16 10:58:09

I don,t understand why anyone posts their children photos on Facebook.

phizz Wed 01-Jun-16 21:51:48

So many sensible answers. I sometimes wish we had a 'thumbs up' smiley to show we agree.

Deedaa Wed 01-Jun-16 21:09:38

I'm always talking about My Daughter or My Son and then thinking "Oh dear I should have said Our"

nightowl Wed 01-Jun-16 21:04:07

I don't mind DD talking to me in that way merlot. I'm used to her by now and I know she loves me dearly and appreciates everything we do for her. She's always been one to 'say it like it is'!

Leticia Wed 01-Jun-16 20:58:58

I don't think it has anything to do with 'possession' and an glad that I don't know anyone who gets upset about things that don't matter- or read things into simple figures of speech.

Lilyflower Wed 01-Jun-16 20:16:51

Your post here has given me food for thought.

There might well be legal issues concerned with posting pictures of others, particularly minors on public social media. My DH, who has been a publisher, is always pointing out that Facebook and other sites are not outside the remit of libel laws and they must be subject to other legislation concerning privacy and decency too. No one realises this as no one has yet had a high profile legal case.

merlotgran Wed 01-Jun-16 20:02:57

My DD would soon put me right if I referred to DGS as 'my boy' and I understand why. As she says, he's not my second chance at parenting!

That sounds a bit harsh. I'd be upset if my DD said something like that to me.

I'm often mindful of the fact that one of the co-grannies is on my facebook page and it's important to avoid one upmanship.

Recently, one of the DGDs was praised for quick thinking when a friend was injured. I replied, 'That's my girl!' but thanks to the delete button was quickly able to change it to, 'Attagirl'

nightowl Wed 01-Jun-16 19:47:17

I don't think there's anything weird about referring to a person as 'my son, daughter, grandchild etc'. Of course we don't own people but I see it as a way of recognising family links. But then I come from Yorkshire where all family members were referred to as 'our (insert name)'. I still refer to my cousins as 'our (name)'. I certainly don't think I own them nor do I want to! And I know I don't own my children but they will always be my babies.

harrigran Wed 01-Jun-16 19:15:48

Sorry, yes URBU. In my book DIL can do no wrong and whatever she says on FB is fine with me.

peaceatlast Wed 01-Jun-16 18:37:12

I'd say, pick your battles. OK, maybe not battles but it does seem a pretty petty thing to get het up about. Once again, our grandchildren are just that. Their parents must decide between them what they feel is the right thing to do.

I talk about "my boys" or "my girl" when talking about my grandchildren, just as I did about my own children. Obviously they are not "mine", but it is an expression of endearment.

Badenkate Wed 01-Jun-16 17:37:45

Why pollyperkins? Are they not allowed to have pleasure in their grandchildren as well?

pollyperkins Wed 01-Jun-16 17:37:11

which is very wrong of me I know!

pollyperkins Wed 01-Jun-16 17:36:02

That's what i meant nightowl - DiL puts pic of her husband and sons and says 'my boys'. I think it's lovely though - Im glad they are still so happy together. Doesn't bother me a bit. Mind you when the other grandparents put pictures of the grandchildren and say ' Our lovely grandchildren' I do feel a bit miffed!!!

Badenkate Wed 01-Jun-16 17:35:49

I'm sorry, but I think this thread is really weird and maybe a bit creepy. I can only think of a very few situations when I would say 'my son' etc and that would probably be introducing him to someone. I've looked back through all the family's fb pages and I can't find anywhere where 'my ...' has been used - names, or 'children', or occasionally 'no 1 son' etc. We don't possess people, we are lucky to have them in our lives - and I certainly would never dream of calling my grandchildren 'my boy' or 'my girl' except maybe in a very jokey way. They are not mine, and I think any parent would be within their rights to feel annoyed.

willsmadnan Wed 01-Jun-16 16:23:18

Unlike cupcake I think there can be too much love ..... one only has to read relationship threads to see the misery caused by that when it is allowed to run riot,, but I must admit to referring to my DDs when not within earshot of my OH as 'my daughter /daughters'. I realise it sounded a bit selfish, and thoughtless.My excuse? I was an only child with not a great sense of sharing, even after meeting my OH, even though I loved him dearly, and he was the rock of my adult life.
However, I never refer to my grandson as my boy (except in a jokey 'Tom and Jerry ' way). I love him to bits, but he is not mine. He is his own person firstly, and after that he is his mum and dad's 'boy'. IMO, anyway.

nightowl Wed 01-Jun-16 16:04:30

But DDIL has put photos of my son and their children on FB with the comment 'my boys' and I do know where the OP is coming from on this. I love the fact they are a family but I do (if I'm honest) feel a little pang that DS is not 'my boy' any more. He was my little boy for such a short time and I miss that time when they were small.

Actually, now I've typed that I'm not sure that's what the OP was getting at anyway confused

nightowl Wed 01-Jun-16 16:00:27

My DD would soon put me right if I referred to DGS as 'my boy' and I understand why. As she says, he's not my second chance at parenting! I secretly think of him as mine, especially since I have looked after him every weekday since he was one year old, but I'm careful what I say - not because I don't want to cause trouble but because he really isn't my boy, he's his parents' boy and that's how it should be.

cupcake1 Wed 01-Jun-16 15:31:01

I have always referred to my two DGD as 'my babies' they are 13 and 10 now but are still 'my babies' and neither my DD or anyone else in the family have a problem with it - why would they? there can never be too much love sunshine

pollyperkins Wed 01-Jun-16 13:37:23

Also I often refer to them as my grandchildren if my husband isnt there. My DiL has put pics upnof her husband (my, sorry, our son) and her and called it 'my boys' i think its lovely.