Child minding

Hi guys thankyou for your comments. I have to be honest here and say that the hours that i have the g/c are in short bursts like 2/3 hours at a time but the overnight one , if i ask what time will my son be collecting the g/c the next day, i get asked such things as...why, have you made arrangements when you know youve got the kids? Why, are you goin somewhere?
Why , does it matter what time im picking them up. Oh youre off out are you? And call your self a grandmother, you cant pick up having the kids and drop them when you feel like it...you have then regularly or not because youre not going to use them when you feel bad because you only want them when you say you want them
So guys where do your thoughts stand on those comments that i get?

My heart goes out to you ..as much as we all love Gc we have all
Been there and done that.....as much help as you can give in daytime
Is one thing but only overnight in an emergency......
It is manipulative to expect this level of childcare your ds hopefully will
Change his tune when he has to pay childcare......hope you can reach
A compromise soon I know it hurts but you must Stan up for yourself

Please don't assume all young mums and dads are as thoughtless and selfish as this young man. Neither my daughter nor any of my friends' children behave in this way over childcare. "This generation" of parents is as varied as any previous one. From other threads it's obvious that "our generation" had many problems with our parents.

That's really sad Tiny .

After everything, a simple request to cut down a bit cuts you out of the family just like that ??

I just don't understand . My mother would not have tolerated such behaviour. Have we raised a generation of children that can't bear even the slightest criticism? I agree with f77ms too .

Hear, hear, f77ms. Well said.

What a cheek ! you are not a childminder you are a Nana . 30/36 hours a week is far too much in my opinion PLUS an overnight stay , you are a saint but possibly a very tired one . You need to tell him in no uncertain terms that you are finding it too much and need some time off . This generation of Mums and Dads just expect to have children and then pass them over to someone else to look after and our generation is just as bad for letting them . This forum seems to have lots of Grandparents in the same position as you so you may get some better advice than I could offer xx

Tiny I'm afraid it is we as GP that have to 'bare the brunt' of our child's wrath,,smile sweetly and walk on egg shells at the same time.
I'm fairly p***ed off myself this afternoon!
But thankfully not as bad as your situation Tiny
Do you have another DC that could speak on your behalf to their brother and perhaps smooth some ruffled feathers.
Although finding child care for that many hours will probably hit home to them quite quickly
Good luck
Some to help you de-stress tonight.

As Coolgran says how are they managing now ? To suddenly have to find and pay for childcare can't be easy.
His attitude makes no sense

Has he always been as selfish as this? Or is something else behind this?

If you looked after them for 36 hours weekly, have they been able to get alternative child care so quickly. Bearing in mind the cost perhaps he will soon be back with his tail between us legs.

I feel so much for you x

I agree-awful behaviour from your son. 36 hours! That's a full time job.

Thats truly awful Tinytotx2, sorry but your son is plain nasty. Do you have a good relationship with his wife/partner? perhaps you could appeal to her. I can't imagine how hurtful it must feel ..

Scuse my typos!!

The update now is that i cant see my grandchildren because pick n choose when i have them. !! Ive gone from having them everyday to not at all and being ignored.
The little lad fell of his bike and had to spend a night on hospital and they didnt even tell me...

Sorry but he comes across as obnoxious-has he always been like this? What about his partner's part in this?
Of course you want to see/care for your DGC and it is only for a relatively short time and all the time they're getting easier and easier to look after.
Would they struggle to pay for childcare? Is that what's at the root of the problem?

Bloody cheek of your son Tiny in my opinion.

It's not a right to have unpaid childcare . I used to say to my girls I want to be their Nana not their childcare. I have no problem helping out to the best of my ability but it's not a right it's a kindness on my part done out of love for my children and grandchildren.

If he won't talk to you then he won't expect you to spend up to 36 hours caring for his children will he??

Does he know how much money you're saving him? How his children could spend those 36 hours in the care of strangers and all that entails?

I'm sorry , and I'm sure there are many here who will disagree but I'm sad to hear how many times adult children use the grandchildren as weapons!!

I don't have an answer for you except to withdraw labour but there are many here who are estranged from their grandchildren who would err on the side of caution.

Hello tinytotx2 I do feel for you and you do need to set your son straight. We all love seeing our grandchildren but it sounds to me like you are being taken advantage of. Your son is very lucky to have you. I think you need to be firm and say it's too much for you and although you love helping out, you need a day or two (or whatever it is you need) to yourself and can they look at making other arrangements for those times.