Havent things changed!

Well done, Marion6, you've definitely earned your time to do your own thing, and we're not all totally involved with DGC. We are always ready to help out when needed, but don't have a regular commitment. As for toys, the big hit this weekend, for 2 year-old BG twins, was bits of sellotape to stick on teddies, themselves and other (monitored) places.

I've got 7 grandchildren who all live less than 5 miles away and I still work part-time ( my husband of 9 years still works full time ) so I'm a help if needed but can't commit to anything on a regular basis grandmother and we don't have a spare room where they can stay unless, in an emergency, on an inflatable mattress in our study/additional storage room. We arrange things with the children some weekends, always do either Christmas Day or Boxing Day, do an Easter lunch and Easter egg hunt and I see them regularly in school holidays.Compared with what some of you do this seems very little but having brought up my own children as a single parent and worked long hours as a teacher, marking hundreds of exam papers in school holidays to earn extra money ( so as not to ruin the children's days doing so I used to get up 4 a.m. and mark until they woke) I feel this is my time to relax and enjoy on the days I don't work. Like Christinefrance I don't feel an overwhelming urge to be totally involved.

Great idea Jalima, thank you. I did a similar thing with my 3 children 30 years ago when newly divorced and we stayed in a chalet in Spain. I'll research it online ?X

Well I have 2 DsIL & we get the children a heck of a lot. We too have 1 room set aside for 6 DGC-who usually come 3 at a time but we have had 5 before now.
We have twin beds in the room but I have a double sofa bed in my craft room & also a travel cot. The 3 boys are quite happy to sleep 3 in the 2 beds- in fact when all 5 stayed I went up to tuck them in to find all 5 of them there- fast asleep & nestled together like a littler of puppies! I expect we will have all 6 before very long.
I bought 2nd hand toys & was given a lot from neighbours/friends too. I got some bits -like stair gate & high chair from NCT sales which are very good & I keep a set of clothes for each child here in case of emergencies- they bring changes but there have been times when all their clothes needed washing after a day out.
The eldest is now 12 & is still very happy to come ( he does bring his play station with him but it is restricted to certain times when he can play it!)& the youngest has just turned 2 & they all play together wonderfully well ( & very noisily), I love to see them play with their siblings & cousins & I am very aware of how quickly they grow up & how short this precious time is.
I am know we are amazingly lucky that they all live within easy reach of us (30 mns max) & can come to stay so often.
I am also sure my DSs & DsIL are very aware how lucky THEY are that we love having them to stay & look forward to it.
Enjoy every minute Mary S - we do!!

I'd say the son/daughter thing depends on individual members in individual familes. Each person's personality and previous experiences are different, and each person has different expectations of how they will relate to an inlaw. First impressions count for a lot too and stick in the memory for a long time.

disagree with that quote re a sons a son until he takes a wife etc...my daughters are like strangers their choice not mine! my son on the other hand although living miles away is always in regular contact ..his wife is the best dil ever better than my real daughters!

''The son's a son till he takes a wife, the daughter's a daughter for the rest of her life'.

I have just read the 22 posts and couldn't help but notice that most of you refer to having DDs. Those of us who only have DiLs don't have quite the same cosy relationship no matter how much we would like to!.

My DiL is a super sufficient wife and mother who seems to manage everything (including a career) with no help from me no matter how much I offer.

How very different the two relationships are and it is so unfair for the 'other' granny who barely gets a look in.?

My elder 2 GDs live in Australia so we depend on Skype.We skyped this morning and had a wonderful time.They sang and danced they were so cute I wanted to cry.We had a game of hide and seek.(My son walks around with laptop and looks in places I tell him to)The girls love it and their laughter often gives their position away.Then I got lots of hugs and kisses.It better than nothing but it would be wonderful in real life.
My great sadness is that my 3rd GD lives only 5 mins away but we are not allowed to see her.IT seems so cruel.

We don't so often get the grandkids to sleep over, but keep sets of spare pyjamas, mainly hand-me-downs provided by DD and DDiL. Then if they visit and grandkids fancy a bath here DH and I can enjoy supervising the splashes and spend a little more time with them while they have a snack. They then go home in the car well wrapped up, teeth cleaned (all 3 have marked toothbrushes here too) and ready for bed when they arrive. It works quite well, especially if one falls asleep enroute so can be carried from car to bed.

We haven't Solitaire but check online to see if there are companies such as Canvas where you can go to a tent already erected complete with beds and all the equipment.
There are lots of sites in France like that, but we've not been camping in Italy.
Camping fun but much easier than taking it all with you (which we have done too).

Greyduster ?

My 12 year old grandson has lived with me all of his life. I love him dearly and really missed him when he went on a rugby tour for a few days. We still have snuggles on the sofa while watching tv, home made popcorn while wrapped in a furry blanket ( with the blinds closed of course, can't have any of his pals seeing us ?)
I have a new grandson 8 months old and see him about every 2 weeks but would be very happy to care for him when DIL returns to work. Looking after my grandchild keeps me on my toes and I have lots of young mums as friends.
When my grandson moves to uni or leaves home I would love to live in Italy for a while and learn Italian. Just yesterday he and I discussed whether it was feasible to spend the school summer hols there, camping or such like. Anyone ever done this and could pass on info?

I got seriously broody this weekend watching all the tiny children wobbling about on Brancaster beach and thinking back to when GS was that age. He is our only grandchild and, like other posters, we looked after him two days a week from the age of about six months, so we had the full panoply of kit and caboodle in place for when he stayed with us and just kept on adding stuff - a proper mattress for the travel cot because I thought the one it had was too thin; a high chair; play pen, toys and clothes without number, strollers, then bed guards, car seats, stair gates...... Now he is nine and quite the young man. He has had his own room here since we moved four years ago, but isn't here overnight that often these days outside the school holidays, and even then he prefers to be at his house because that's where his friends are, which is perfectly understandable. We are going to have to look for a compromise, but God, I miss all the baby/toddler/preschooler stuff! Have to go; I have something in my eye.....

Me Christinefrance. We have a step grandson age 9 and twin boys aged 3. All three are much loved and adorable and we enjoy looking after them, though we have the twins separate from their big brother as their interests are so different. They live about 150 miles away and we see them roughly every 6 weeks. We either go to their house and stay for a few days or they come to stay with us for 3 or 4 days. I must say that the arrangement suits us very well as both my husband and I enjoy a variety of activities plus we both have elderly relatives to care for.

I never had a burning desire to be a granny and was surprised when it happened as DS and DD both said they didn't want children. Having said that, I'm delighted that I am now a grandparent and send my congratulations to MarySunshine. Hope you have as much fun as we have had! ?

Brilliant - have a great w/e! I cannot for the life of me see what is wrong with pre-owned baby stuff. When I look back at my kids I appreciated "hand-me-downs" from mates. I live on a really deprived area with about 70% unemployment rate and when I look at the local mums/babies/toddlers, I can't understand how they can afford the luxury baby buggies, designer clothes, sugary drinks etc., especially with mum with I-phone attached to ear.

Yes, I am happy to be involved when needed but don't want to be relied on all the time.

For one thing, I don't have the energy, and another is the fact that I have a bad back which is made worse when I look after dear gs who is now 11months old for any length of time.

When he was first born daughter used to rely on me to come to her house so she could go back to bed for a while.
Then a few months ago she went back to work part time and asked me to have him for one day a week. It was a ten hour day, and was I tired at the end of it.
Another time I had him overnight, and the next day I was so tired I felt ill.

As I am now 70 years old, I feel I can't contribute as much as I would like without jeapordising my health and wellbeing. Which is a shame as he is such a happy baby and I love him to bits.

If it is your first.....just a little word of warning. Don't go too mad as it may be overwhelming for your DIL. Try not to buy stuff without asking first as they may have different tastes. Read the mean comments from DILs on Mumsnet.....about MIls who smother and demand. Horrible.
I fell so madly in love with my first GC that I must have been impossible. I wanted him in my arms so much. Thank goodness my first experience was with a DD. I now temper my spending and always check first about everything, even if I think it is ridiculous. I also did not want to be known as present Grannie. They still know that we love them unconditionlly though, as the hugs and kisses we get are priceless.

We are blessed with 16 grandchildren! we do not do a regular slot as we have both worked hard until 66 years old and we are enjoying our retirement - Having said that we are available for emergencies, illness, occasional weekends away,holiday times - our children do not take us for granted and are pleased that we have a life outside grandchildren (having said that not many days go by without a call or a visit)

There are no posts on GN about Grandparents who like their involvement with grandchildren limited. I am quite happy to help if needed but don't feel an overwhelming urge to be totally involved. Is anyone else going to put their head above the parapet ?

I looked after my two grandchildren from 6 months old and had clothes, cots, bottle warmer, pram baby milk/food, at my house so my daughter didn't have to bring it all when she dropped them off. They are now 7 and 4 and I still have two beds made up for them whenever they want to stay. I loved every minute of having them and I remember when I had my granddaughter overnight when she was 2 months old, to give daughter a nights sleep, feeding her and putting her back to sleep at 4am when it was just me and baby. So different to when I had my own babies. Mind you one night is a bit different to every night.

Our GCs live quite a distance away so we too bought lots of kids stuff for when our DD SIL and GC come to stay, mostly secondhand, charity shop or donated. We bought a lovely secondhand cot, fitted it with a new mattress and later sold it on to another Grandparent. It is amazing what you can get in charity shops and through friends of friends. Lovely cotton duvet covers for example. Now fitted up DD's old room with bunkbeds which could always be used as 2 singles (in a larger room)- previously we used Z beds. We too have not regretted it, as our DD and GCs can come up on the train every school holiday. We're retired though, and have time to search for bargains. It has been fun!

MarySunshine, Many congrats on becoming a grandmother!
We're on the countdown now to our first GC, due in 4 weeks and 4 days!
We're lucky in the extreme, DS and DDiL live just 110 yards away from us, and believe me, I know just how fortunate we are to have them so close!
We've got a bedroom set up for the baby, with a large travel cot, changing unit and nursing chair already in place, so we're well prepared.
DDiL is intending to be off work until the baby is nine months old, but she'll be going into her office occasionally during that time to 'keep an eye' on things, so we'll need to baby mind quite a lot from the very start! I can hardly wait!!!
DS and DDiL met on their first day at university, (aged 18) and are both twenty nine now, but didn't want to start a family until they were married, in a house of their own in their area of choice and as financially stable as it's possible to be these days, so I've waited a long time to be a Nan!
When DDiL returns to work full time, we'll be baby minding for at least three days a week, maybe more, we'll see how it goes. I expect to sleep very well on the nights after baby minding!

Yes, it is such a relief when they go into a booster seat

Ps I don't think I ventured too far when DD1 was four weeks old - certainly not 25 miles!

Have a lovely time with your new DGS

We have been very lucky to have been given/lent a lot of equipment and toys by a neighbour and had lots of toys and books from our DC too.
One thing though - we did buy new mattresses for the pram and cot (essential and available online or from stores like JL, Mothercare etc.)

Our small bedroom looks like a toyshop these days, and there are other boxes of stuff downstairs!