what would you have done?

Crop tops for young girls? Fine imho.

They were staying with you? My family have always had the saying, In Granny's house, Granny's rules. I held to it with my children even though I sometimes disagreed with my mother, and my daughter holds to it with me, even though I bet she disagrees sometimes:-)
It does children no harm to realise there is more than one way of doing things.

What are the views on crop tops? I bought one of these whilst out with my GD who is 8. She was really keen to have it but my Daughter was a little shocked that I had bought it for her and told me she had already told dear GD that she wasn't to wear something that showed so much flesh. I think when you are young and carefree,surely that is the time to enjoy wearing what you want. She wasn't in the least provocative!

Completely agree with dorsetpennt,......

Mm...nothing new about trashy clothes though, if by "trashy clothes" you mean extremely short shorts. Remember hot pants? We were all wearing them, aged 11, to the primary school end of term disco, in 1969.

I think there's a difference between dressing "like a prostitute" and a preteen girl wearing a pair of short shorts.

I think we need to be debating the issue of why girls are sexualised by their clothing in an age when females are supposedly more liberated than ever.

I dont know what this current trend for trashy clothes is all about - probably a Designer's whim as usual. No woman is going to be taken seriously if she dresses like a prostitute - human nature doesn't change over night and the prospect of so many, porn soaked, slobbering men of all ages, ogling a 14 year old girl, or thereabouts - doesn't need to happen.

I know the feeling, a few years ago we went to our homw in Cumbria, with two friends, their Daughter tagged along too was 17 at the time, well one morning she came downstairs with the shortest shorts I have ever seen a top which if am kind will say it just about covered her bosom, that day we were going to my hometown Liverpool i was horrified of the comments which would be thrown at her Liverpudlians dont mince words.Just before we left she had longer shorts and alittle less showing on her top part, her Mum must have realised that the clothes she had on first were a bit challenging so to speak, I am glad I didnt have to mention her first choice of clothes, There were a few stares as we walked around Town, but I suppose this family coming from Sweden, are a bit more relaxed as how one dresses.We had a good day anyway.

Thanks for all the interesting replies - I don't feel guilty any more, but see why some thinks she would have been ok in the shorts.
I think this brings up at least two subjects - whether grandparents should get involved in their DGCs upbringing, and the issue of feminism. ie is it the female's fault if men ogle them when they're perhaps skimpily dressed.
BTW no the shorts weren't showing her bottom.

I know that they have to learn when and where certain items of clothing are acceptable but 12 is a good age to be wearing short shorts (as long as she's keeping her modesty). l bet I think differently in 3 years when my own granddaughter is 12 though ?.

Well said Peaceatlast,

As obieone has already asked, was she showing her bottom? If not, short shorts seem perfectly suitable attire for a twelve year old girl in a warm country. At the market or anywhere else.

I have told no-one about my thoughts including family. I worked in a male prison for nine years which also had a wing for sex offenders. Because of this I had to have sex offender treatment training. I'm sorry to say that it has changed my opinions in quite a few things. I do see children dressed in a way that gives me an ' Oh dear ' thought.

When I go to Morocco I do not pack any short sleeved or strapped topped dresses. I wear 3/4 length sleves and wear leggings or berber trousers with any dress that finishes at the knee.

I am happy to dress modestly in a muslim country as my part in respecting their customs and being grateful for a lovely holiday environment.

I have a teen age granddaughter whose shorts look like my underwear. I say nothing in this country as it is a phase to be enjoyed whilst the weather allows.

I agree, Annodomini, sometime youngsters have to find things out by experimentation, being 'told' invites rebellion if it even gets through. And it is her business, rather than her Gran's. I remember my Grandmother objecting to me being allowed out after 9pm when I was 15, my Mother's response was, "There's nothing she might do after nine that she couldn't do before if she has a mind to". I was so shocked that I was more inclined to behave, not less!

In the area of France I live there are a good few Brits to be seen in shopping areas - and the dress for these people is much the same as any Uk high street - however when the summer arrives and Brits come on holiday their attire is often very different and in many cases much more suitable for a beach rather than an inland town. I think it has more to do with the idea of being on holiday and maybe buying clothes from departments in UK labelled as 'holiday shops' etc.

It can't be said that it is none of our business. We all have a responsibility to guide our youngsters in the right direction. If not us, then who?

There are ways of approaching such situations without being confrontational or offensive.

Twelve year olds are bombarded with clothing and lifestyle choices before they are really able to make an informed choice. All the adults in their lives have a part to play in this guidance and I wouldn't hesitate to do so myself.

When I was growing up, we were constantly steered in the right direction by parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents. I believe that is how it should be.

I can remember wearing a pair of Seventies hot pants into a major UK city centre, aged 13, and being shouted and jeered at with suggestive remarks by horrible older men. My friend and myself ducked in to a shopping arcade to escape, and were scared out of our wits when a policeman walking past looked up the arcade.

I thought I was going to get in to trouble for wearing them (and who knows, back then I may well have done although I now like to think the PC was keeping an eye on us in a good way.

Today any older men in the same city, leering in the same way, would probably be arrested on the spot.

However, the same rules don't apply globally. TriciaF knows her own area best. If it felt like the right decision at the time, it probably was.

Overall, the above experience excluded, I'm glad I wore what I did in the Seventies, when I had the body for it, but I wouldn't want my grand-daughter to go through anything similar. In the same situation as TriciaF, I would have requested jeans too, mindful of my own experiences at a similar age.

As others have said, short shorts are very 'in' at the moment. As long as the rest of her outfit was not 'tarty' (although, as Bluebelle says 'it's in the eye of the beholder') and you were not visiting a place of worship, the shorts were fine. There would be many points of view as to what is, and isn't 'short. Where should the line, or hem, be drawn?

Our bodies are never as beautiful as when young (I am being honest, here!) so they should be embraced - as long as clothing is not provocative.

I remember wearing mini-skirts in the 1960's and trying not to be embarrassed. Looking back, I vehemently wish I had embraced my lithe, long body and great legs and will encourage my granddaughters to love their bodies, whatever they look like.

I wouldn't dream of suggesting that my 13-year-old DDG was inappropriately dressed - even if she was. It's none of my business. She was certainly wearing short shorts last time I was in France with the family, two years ago. I never saw anything wrong with them.

Shorts are not provocative clothes for a 12 year old they are normal wear for running climbing jumping and yes walking in the sun all kids are wearing shorts this summer if she was going out in a low cut top and full make up and yay hi heels with the shorts that could have been deemed provocative Sexiness is in the minds of the beholder and for those that don't approve I totally agree in a modest country or visiting a church or maybe museum or theatre but just for a run/ walk in the countryside they should be ideal. The point is did her Mother mind you asking her to change I would if my mother had told me my kids were inappropriately dressed I d have thought it was a critism of my judgement

If you live in UK, I wouldn't personally have intervened like that.these shorts are just fashionable with the young now and I doubt anyone would be offended.

But, if it was just that one thing, no one was upset at the time and you don't otherwise interfere/suggest DGD should be ashamed of her body, etc, most unlikely any harm was done and it's not worth worrying about.

I know shorts are short at the moment, but the child is only 12 years old. Bit young to be dressed in somewhat provocative gear , what is her mother thinking buying them in the first place.

You are right, Barmyoldbat. Once, in the 80s, when I had the legs for it, I wore shorts on a visit to Alicante city centre. An old man spat at me.
My shorts weren't as short as the ones footballers were wearing in those days but they certainly upset that elderly Spaniard. It was a horrible experience.
Since then I have always tried to dress suitably for where I am going.

Yes you did the right thing. I took my two young teenage GD to a country where they dress in a modest manner and showed great respect to their elders and I told them I expected them to blend in rather than be stared at and in some cases laughed at. They took to the different cultural like a duck to water. So yes I believe that you should respect the country you are visiting and Young people need guidance in this.

I think there is every reason to feel naturally protective towards our grandchildren and sometimes we will doubt ourselves for our gut feelings. My grandchildren are younger but I know I would have had the same reaction as you. I guess all we can wish for is to be able to talk honestly to our children about what we think and feel though I appreciate this may well be easier with daughters rather than sons and daughters- in- law (I have no sons).