Glad I'm NOT a grandparent

Bionic, I get it. You don't want grandchildren and I'm not here to judge you. But it's not OK either, for you to single out grandparents with words like " ...have been droning on about their grandchildren for the last hour ...." or to say "... no, I don'to want hear about your grandchildren". I took exception to your post with good reason, and I don't think I'm being unkind...I'm being honest. This forum provides a safe place for grandparents to brag about the 'next generation' ("..if it gives you pleasure") as you so bluntly pointed out. The tone of your post was disdainful particularly to those of us who are proud, loving grandparents. I participate in many interesting topics on this forum, but I am a loving 'grandma' first and foremost and proud of it. Do not presume to take that away.

Really it is a pointless thread. Have them or don't have them. It isn't your choice. You either dote on them or you don't.

However, threads like this do tend to attract loads of comments. Like mine .

I don't think you're weird, OP.
I didn't yearn for grandchildren, and I always felt sad for those friends of DD whose mothers would wail at them for not settling down and having babies, or keep hinting that they were longing for g-children, when mostly it was the case that the girls had yet to find the right man to have them with, and were worried enough about their biological clocks ticking away.
I do have two very little grandchildren now, both born on the late side to DD, and I love them very much, but it wouldn't have broken my heart if neither DD had ever wanted any - but it would have broken my heart for the DD who did want them, if for any reason she couldn't have had them.
Other DD has always said she'd rather have dogs!

I am glad you enjoyed your time at the zoo Elegran,but can't you see that the 2016 posters on Gransnet are not how they used to be?

Looking at the 100 plus replies, I think eveyone is annoyed with everything.

Has it occurred to anyone else that this thread has done what the original poster (who as far as I can see has never posted before or since) wanted it to - set people posting outraged messages about the OP and about people who don't have children or grandchildren, set others defending the OP (and people who don't want children or grandchildren), and set others demanding that only grandmothers should join the hallowed ranks. In short, it sowed discord.

All those who rose to the bait this time could bear that in mind the next time someone posts something obviously aimed at stirring it.

OP Don't dis it till you've tried it! Our GC are part of our lives so of course we mention them. If you don't have any interest in a topic why bring it up?

Gransnet is not just for grandmothers. Grandfathers and people with no grandchildren, or people with no children, or single people with no possibility or intention of ever HAVING children or grandchildren, are welcome. See www.gransnet.com/info/about

"Gransnet is the busiest social networking site for the over 50s."
and
"while the overwhelming majority of our members are grandmothers, we pride ourselves on our inclusiveness"

It's everyone's right to decide whether or not to have children and they should not be condemned for that choice. When it comes to grandchildren, the choice is made by someone else but you shouldn't be condemned for your reaction to that choice, whether it is positive or negative. In fact, if you don't have strong maternal feelings, it is probably better to have the courage to remain childless than to submit to pressure and become a mother when you don't want to be. Similarly, if you don't want to be a grandparent, you are lucky if it doesn't happen - for your own sake and for the children you would have grandparented.

Having said that, I think it is rather rude to suggest that grandparents monopolise conversations by droning on about their grandkids. A few, maybe, but most people just talk about them a bit because they are an important part of life. I have noticed that this sort of criticism is usually aimed at women - for instance, mums will be accused of talking about nothing but their children, whereas their husbands can witter on for hours about jobs, cars and so on, without attracting similar criticism.

I wonder whether the reaction of "perhaps they'll change their minds" is prompted more by embarrassment than pity. If you've been talking happily about something and you are then told that it is not part of your listener's life, you would probably feel very awkward and say something to try to defuse the situation. Of course, in the OP's case, it is the last thing she wants to hear, but I imagine it is usually well-meant.

I do consider myself lucky in that both my DDs have children, though I feel sorry for myself when I have to face the fact that 4 out of our 6 DGC live nearly 4,000 miles away. Each one has enriched my life and I am thankful to have 2 DGDs living under our roof. They are a huge part of our lives. I don't expect everyone to want to be a grandparent, and I'm sure that some people have no wish to have any more children in their lives, but I think there has to be tolerance on both sides, between the haves and the have-nots.

I love having grandchildren and get enormous pleasure from being with them - though it was never something I was particularly bothered about until they came along. I do, though, think it's important to have a life outside the family and to have a variety of interests.

Most of my friends have grandchildren and, though we may mention them in passing, we certainly don't go "droning on" about them.

The matter is out of our hands anyway so if your children's decision turns out to be in line with your own preference, whatever that may be, that seems to me to be quite fortunate.

Oh FFS! This thread is getting mad.

Peaseblossom I am new to GN and am not a grandma, although I would like to be but as my eldest daughter died and my youngest daughter has yet to find Mr Right there is not a lot I can do about it. However, I have found lots of interesting threads and can relate to other members on different issues, even those concerning grandchildren give me an insight to what it's like being a grandma- the ups and downs.I think this site is very suitable for me and can't understand why you want to exclude anyone from joining.

Oh dear bionic woman, I think you must have given your children such an unsatisfactory childhood that they have no wish to re create it !

Well said Venus that's how I feel too.
There are some pretty awful replies to the OP on here, so doubt she will want to stay around.

I have one son with four children and another who doesn't want any. Each to their own, I say. I do grandma duties if I want to, but I do it if it's convenient for me... or if it's an emergency of some sort.

I think it's lovely to know that I've left some sort of mark in this world, and that the family line will continue through one of my sons. If I've achieved nothing else, I have done that.

Being grandparents is not up to us, but up to our children. It is not a choice to be grandparents. I like being a grandparent more then being a parent, but you never know that until you become one.

Infact, it's nice to have dogs, cats, whatever . . . and have grandchildren!

No Peaseblossom
Elegran has posted the link above and outlined the GN ethos.

As for the people saying there are plenty of people on Gransnet who are not grandparents I would say WHY??!!! They should find other more suitable websites. It's ridiculous. I wouldn't join a gay website because I'm not gay, I wouldn't join a men's cricket or football team, because I'm a woman. I don't understand why men are on here either, even if they're grandparents. I thought this website was for women who are grandparents.

Couldn't agree more. I only have one grandchild so far, a beautiful little girl of 2 years 3 months who I adore. I love her with all my heart. Unfortunately I only see her about every 2-3 months as it takes 3 trains and 3 hours to get there.

Yes the first thing I thought of was why the hell are you on Gransnet?! I have a granddaughter of 2 years 3 months and adore her and I cannot imagine how awful it would be not to have any grandchildren. I cannot pretend to understand your attitude. Surely you must have been maternal to have had children of your own and it is natural for someone to look forward to being a grandparent. I'm just glad my two daughters wanted children and would have been devastated if they hadn't. I'm looking forward to more grandchildren. I certainly couldn't be friends with someone who doesn't want grandchildren because even if I liked them, I would find it impossible not to talk about my granddaughter.

Good to see such warm, welcoming comments from some posters. What has happened to "Live and let live"? Why shouldn't the OP use this forum if she chooses, but I very much doubt she will after this

I love my Grandchildren sooooo much and spend as much time as I can with them! But I talk about my ukuleles endlessly ??

Perhaps the name GRANSNET wasn't enough of a clue, but now that BionicWoman has learned that this forum is for Grandparents or 'would be' grandparents for the most part, BionicWoman may want to take a step back.

Publicly rejecting the notion of Grandchildren for whatever reason, is not a prudent thing to say in a forum that is primarily dedicated to doting grandparents. If Bionic expected her comments to be well received, she's probably come to the wrong place.

I did find it odd that 'bionicwoman' chose to write on this forum about not wanting grandchildren! I'm going to bore her now about mine! My delicious, precious grandson was born in January this year. I knew beforehand that I'd be delighted with him, but I could never have imagined the depth of love I'd feel for him. It's as strong as the love I have for my own children, yet not exactly the same. It is simpler, somehow; without any complications. Just pure, simple love. And what's more, it seems to increase every time I see him (which is once a week, usually!).My grandson is the completely unexpected shining light in my latter years, making me totally happy about being the age I am (62)!

I am only just catching up with Victoria, another episode to watch before Sunday.
He is just mesmerising!
I've always liked him but even more so now

Drone, drone

Feel free to drone on about Rufus Sewell as much as you like, even bring him along (I wish)

Reminder to self: do not drone on about anything, be it grandchildren, dogs, cats, trains, my trips, knitting, refugee crisis or those lovely boots ..... or even Rufus Sewell!