Glad I'm NOT a grandparent

bionicwoman
Why sign up for this site?

I am older than you by 2 years and still well able to get on the floor and play with them!

Why bother coming to a site for grans to say you don't want to be a gran? I think the OP is trying to be bothersome.

Phoenix I am bored rigid when people go on interminably about their pets!! I dont have any and really am Not keen on dogs. Thought I quite liked cats until I read a thread on here recently about cats binging mice etc into the house! However I have little sympathy when people complain about vets bills or paying to put pets into kennels when they go on holiday. The obvious retort is 'you should have thought of that when you got a pet!'
I confess I do talk about my grandchildren given the slightest encouragement but do try to be sensitive and shutbup if people look bored or dont have any GC of their own!

Bionicwoman

You are extremely brave to come on a forum named Gransnet and announce your true feelings and "status" as a non-Gran. I'm not a grandmother either, but married a man who has lots of grandchildren. I therefore sometimes have problems adjusting to this and find some comments from people in a similar situation to myself helpful when I feel I can't cope at all with what goes on, simply because my background is entirely different and I come from a very small family. I certainly loved my grandparents and always remember the great times I had - I spent so much time with them.

There are indeed other threads where you can make a great contribution - people will discuss anything on here, not necessarily their family problems (but I've found family problems hurt the most!)

Hi bionicwoman and no, I don't think you are weird at all. I don't have grandchildren. My children are a similar age to yours. One has never wanted children and the other... well it just hasn't happened yet but maybe it will in the future. Who knows.

I joined Gransnet because I wanted to find people roughly my own age, to talk about things that interest me. I'm sure there are lots of posts here about grandchildren but there are even more about how to live life well at this sort of age (late 50s in my case) and those are the ones I tend to follow.

I hope you stay, and I hope you enjoy being part of Gransnet. I'm only very new to it, but I love it already. Just jump in and enjoy the company!

Good for you and thank you for sharing.

I didn't think my husband's sons would ever be fathers, once they hit 40-ish, so it was just our way of life to be GC-less. THEN the oldest proposed to his GF of 7 years and now they have a beautiful DGD. I never had children, and this girl is wonderful. I feel younger for the most part.

But I also can give her back to her parents at the end of our turn with her in the week. Also, she will grow up and be an adult some day, so this is not a ball and chain situation for us or her parents.

Felt the same about dogs, wanted to be dog-free, but we now share care of younger stepson's terrier whilst he's at work and she is so much fun and we get more regular exercise because of her.

So... as John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

I might have (slightly) understood the OP had it been in reply to several posters praising grandparenthood, but as an opening thread it sounded very defensive for no particular reason. Rather odd.

bionicwoman. I think you have been "unlucky" with the people you speak to, thinking and speaking the way they have.
Most people totally understand and dont think you or the situation is weird at all.

bionicwoman Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

Sorry to say but you have not the slitest idea what pleasure grandchildren bring into your life. It sounds to me as though you are quite selfish and one wonders what kind of lives your children had to want both of them to not want a family.

Crickey what a rant! It's a bit like going onto a football fans forum and telling everyone how you hate football - bit futile if you ask me. Also sounds like the OP doubts if she is normal and needs confirmation she isn't weird from everyone else. There are loads of things people talk about that you don't particularly want to join in with the conversation but it doesn't mean others can't enjoy talking about it.

Furthermore, as previously mentioned, it is hardly ones own choice to become a grandparent. Is the decision of the OP's children not to have children any reflection....

"Live and let live" and "Don't rain on my parade" come to mind.

Elegran I do understand that it's Mumsnet s sister group it just seems a bit limiting because if I wasn't a Nan I wouldn't have thought about joining I m probably being a bit pedantic but I just find it curious to call it something that it isn't anyway it is and they do so irrelevant really

Lully I find it interesting that there have recently been knocking threads started by people from all corners of the spectrum (IFSWIM) We've had "too much about grandchildren", "too tame" and "too aggressive". We've heard that GNHQ interfere too much, or don't interfere enough.

I'd say that shows the forums must be just about right, with something for everyone. Funnily enough, each complainer seems to think that everyone else is out of step and they are the only ones marching to the correct beat. Maybe they think the same about Life Outside.

bluebelle It is called Gransnet because it is from the same stable as Mumsnet. I don't know how many men are on Mumsnet (not many, if they have read some of the LeaveTheBastard posts)

On Gransnet there have always been some men, perhaps because grandads are mostly retired and have time for the grandchildren.

It so interesting as some single posters throw a curved ball in then disappear never to be seen again. Each to their own however, I reply, just in case she is interested.

To say nothing of the fact that other people's grandchildren will be/are running the hospitals, care homes, schools, the police, the country...

Without someone's grandchildren where would we all be?

Everyone is entitled to their own outlook on Grandchildren. Indeed I have seen both attitudes in my own family. We all need help at times and I think that having a Grandchild to care for brings back the silliness in you and the ability to act daft and not be embarrassed. It's another dimension to the continuation of life. Have to say being a Narnie is one of the best things in life! We have such fun together! ?

That is great bionicwoman that you are very happy with your DC's decision to not have GC. I always feel sorry for people who feel the pressure to have DC.

You are also welcome to post on Gransnet, you don't have to be a grandmother, most threads are about everything but GC.

I find it strange for someone to bog on about not wanting grandchildren, that,s not a choice is it? Unless you chose not to have children , but I can't stand people who bog on about not wanting children either ( usually journalists who write long articles about it). I just think fine, get on with it, you don't have to justify it. As someone else said- I wouldn't write to a dog owner's site and talk about the joys of non dog ownership, or say how brilliant it is that I choose not to travel long haul for my holidays. I don't discuss my grandchildren non stop, I do have a life, as they say, the family are an important part of it, but not the sum total.

I adore our six grandchildren, however today many people choose not to have children for a multitude of reasons and therefore cannot have grandchildren. So I believe your pleasure in not having grandchildren is a very normal reaction in our modern world!
I also believe I adore my grandchildren because I adored my own children, and I feel I can really enjoy the pleasure of grandchildren without having the responsibility. Additionally my children ask for advice and are very grateful for our support.

I can understand indifference to grandchildren, but not liking cats OR dogs...........!?!

(Not OP, but (I think) sheerhell, could be wrong, often am)

I wonder if OP enjoyed and is enjoying parenthood. I think it is something so special and wonderful I would like my children to have that same great(usually!!) experience.

Well that's a bit pedantic Nlkdumpling as all the people you mention seem to be involved with grandchildren which kind of gets them through the door ....maybe it should be called 'theoverfiftiesnet' haha I just saw the word Gran and as I am one joined, as I say it's not a problem just think it's a strange name if they re looking for any third age person to join and not just grandparents