Daughter said they are going to emigrate!!!

Is this your first post on here op?

Blimey that's a terrible reaction you don't OWN your children and grandchildren your job is to let them live their lives as they see fit and honour their decisions My son emigrated to NZ 20 years ago, has a lovely wife, two children and a brilliant life how could I not be happy for him, although like others have said you are devasted inside I only see them every few years ...my youngest daughter and family are in Europe and I see them a couple of times a year ... but again it's their decisions not mine
You have hopefully brought your daughter up to be confident to make her own mind up about where she wants to live. Sad but get over it save up and visit and be very very glad for their new life
Maybe your daughter 'will never forgive you' for trying so selfishly to stifle her she's not your prisoner

Hello and welcome to Gransnet gardenman99.

I understand your shock and therefore your emotional response to your daughter's announcement, but the decisions of our adult children are theirs and theirs alone. Canada has Skype and FaceTime so contact of sorts can be maintained and if you keep channels of communication open there will no doubt be visits and phone calls too. It may be hard to let them go because you will miss them, but I have no doubt that their reasons for moving are well thought out and they will believe it to be in their family's best interests. I expect the downside of the move for them will be missing you - try to look at the positive's for your daughter and her family and find it in your heart to put them first.

I speak from experience, my daughter emigrated to New Zealand four years ago and has since had a new granddaughter that my husband will be meeting for the first time next year for her 2nd birthday.

We give them roots and wings. We must let them fly. When she got married did you not hear the bit about husband and wife being a family .

I would feel that I have to start a savings account to save for air fares to visit them.

If they still want you to visit, of course, after what you said. They may not.

I'd cry and bawl my eyes out, I'd be heartbroken, devastated, but I'd never ever let them know. I'd let them go.

What a shame you said that to your daughter, how on earth do you think you've made her feel? I have a son who lives abroad and I've cried buckets that his little family are so far away and I only see them occasionally but he will never know that because I slap on a smile and a happy voice and tell him how proud of him I am and how glad that he is so settle in his new life.
We raise them hoping they'll fly, you really can't clip her wings for your own selfish reasons however hard that is.

what wills said - your attitude is very sad and selfish

I would feel happy that they were about to make a wonderful new life for themselves in a beautiful country. Your sentence..'We have told her we will never forgive her...' is chilling. What they do as a family is nothing to do with you. You surrendered your right to dictate to your daughter the day she got married. Had you not realised that? You sound dreadfully Victorian.

Well, that's a great way to keep the family together, by threatening them! My son, his wife and children live in America. My other son & family live 500 miles away from us in the UK.

Obviously I'd like them to be closer but we raised our children to have wings so we can hardly complain when they use those wings to fly. We manage to see them all and are close as a family despite the distances.