Daughter said they are going to emigrate!!!

So easy to sound wise after the event obieone.
I see that you asked if it was OP's first post. How on earth can that be construed as showing you were doubtful from the start??

Well, bugger. I have been really busy and not reading much or posting, but one of the great things about even an odd OP's post is that I learn a lot about the resonding posters. As I am a newbie it's nice to know there are others out there who carefully consider questions/situations and contribute helpful suggestions to the issues put up by OPs.

So I personally am taking back my part this thread to give a big thumbs up to say GN is a great place and am very glad to have found it. If there be trolls or even if GN tosses out these kinds of questions to create buzz... then maybe we just have to say 'lesson learnt' on a thread and move on.

Cheers to all of you!

My first and only post showed I was doubtful from the start.

Just put my own username in and there are pages and pages...

Just put the name in the Search box at the top of the page.

Obviously it's only useful if there haven't been many posts!

Same question from me. On the other Forum I participate in, you can look up the history of a poster- either all her/his posts or all the threads started by her/him.

Out of interest was that just a good memory Ana or can you look at people older posts and if so how ?

I also had this thought.

Even if we've been 'had' someone in a similar situation may read this thread and think twice before they speak like that to their DD!

Every cloud

"Had" or not, it is an interesting discussion.

Quite possibly we have been.
I would hope that no one could pile on the emotional blackmail like that and then manipulate the grandchildren. It is very unfair.

have we been had?

And his main or maybe only supporter called Caretaker wasn't he/she the one that started a thread about 'swingers' or something similar ummm

Gardenman99 has posted once before, in May this year, on a 'Bikini Wax' thread telling us that his wife uses Veet. He doesn't seem to have posted since then...

mmm - reading the posts again is making me wonder too.

I think you are very rude and insulting to suggest I am "heavy handed" How dare you, I was never smacked by my parents and I have never laid a finger on any of our children and would never do so. Just because your father did do not assume others are to the same brush. Disgusting.
Well, if that OTT response to MargaretX is typical of your responses to life in general, then I am not surprised at your OP and your reaction to your DD's announcement gardenman.

Sorry, but I would have thought that everyone would know the term 'heavy-handed' did not mean anything physical, rather it means over-reacting to someone's behaviour in a clumsy, insensitive, or overly forceful manner.

I am beginning to wonder about this OP though .....
Are you a new poster btw?

Gardenman99 get a grip, nobody has died. Your family are just looking to make a better life for themselves which is surely what you want. I'm sorry to be blunt but you really are making this difficult. Don't manipulate the grandchildren, they will have a great life in Canada, as my family did in America. Of course many of us have been where you are now but please don't make them all feel guilty about this.

Gardenman99 I do not think posters under estimate the effect change has on any member of the family, many are already living with the reality of being in different countries to their sons, daughters and grandchildren. But children do adapt, they may worry or not want to leave their friends, but they will make new friends and keep in touch with existing friend through social media. Hard though it is to accept , families have always left for a better life and those of us left behind have a choice, accept and make the best of it or risk a fractured family. Read some posts on here about families where there is discord, and the heartbreak it causes. Canada is a wonderful place to visit, and offers great opportunities, so I hope you can work things out and not stand in the way of your daughter and family but let them make their own choices without threats from you.

My son lives in Canada and has done for 14 years now. He married a lovely Canadian girl and stayed out there. I cried lots of tears when I left him there after their wedding. But there was no way I would ever have stopped him doing what he wanted to. He is an adult, as are your daughter and son in law. It is his life to do with what he wants, not for me to tell him what to do.
How would you feel if your daughter told you what to do? I am sure that you wouldn't like it.
Canada is a beautiful place, and a fantastic life for children. My son would never live back in the UK, he has a wonderful life in Canada and I am immensely proud of the adult that he has become. Keeping in touch nowadays is so much easier than when he first moved to Canada, and we visit each other as often as we can.

Tell your grand daughter that you will miss her, but that she will have a great life in Canada. You can speak regularly to your grandchildren on Skype. Tell you daughter and son in law the same thing.

I feel that I have done a good of bringing my children up to be the independent adults that they are. My sons' don't live close by, and I don't see my grandchildren very often, but I am very close to them and adore them as they do me. Distance doesn't stop that. But your attitude to their choice may make it harder for you.

Posts crossed Luckyg.

I truly and sincerely hope this is not the case:

'but if you are weeping and saying grandma and grandad can't manage without you that will really mess their heads up and they will cling and be unhappy and will have the psychological problems you have already imagined they will have '

as that would be truly unforgivable.

Your response to your GD MUST be that you will miss her but are very excited for her new life and are looking forward to talking on skype/ going over there for her to show you her new home etc.

DO NOT use her to manipulate your daughter and her husband. That really would be unforgivable.

Your sadness is fully understandable and has my sympathy - the way that you are approaching this with only your own needs in mind gets no sympathy whatsoever.

I m not surprised your daughter is now worried about going after your reaction she must feel torn in shreds and we only heard one sentence from you and everyone found it shocking I bet she's heard a good bit more poor woman
As for psychological trauma to the grandkids that is nonsense they will have a brilliant new life, new town, new house, new school, friends, it is fearfully exciting if you let it be but if you are weeping and saying grandma and grandad can't manage without you that will really mess their heads up and they will cling and be unhappy and will have the psychological problems you have already imagined they will have
This gets worse every time you post as you are still clinging to the idea you have to change her mind what if her marriage breaks up because of this ... will you feel guilty?

One thing we really cherish now is that the grandchildren Skype / Facetime us independently. They call to tell us things that have happened in their lives, get help with homework, ask about bits of family history etc. We are all in different countries and whilst it is very hard to be physically apart when they are tiny, it is so much easier when they get older.
We have never lived close by as a family, my OH's grandparents and parents lived and worked abroad, we lived hundreds of miles from our parents, our DS went abroad after university and never came back to the UK, our DD moved across the country for work, then we retired abroad.
It is a different way of doing things, but it doesn't mean that the ties of love and family affection are in any way diminished. You just have to do what it takes to make it work.

As the grandparents your job is to make it easy for your granddaughter by being very positive and sending her with your blessings. Of course it is hard, but you can acknowledge this without making them feel guilty. The one thing we need to do with children is give them roots and give them wings. You don't want to clip those wings. They will come back, you can visit and the Internet keeps you close.