Passing down family name

I think to say couples defer to the mum is both questionable and possibly unfair. In our experience it has been a joint decision. I have to admit our latest DGS went nearly 2 weeks before they settled on a name (perhaps because of his traumatic arrival) and when I heard the names they were considering I zipped my lip and prayed they would abandon some of them!! But the name does NOT define the child, rather the other way round. As a teacher I was put off some names for life by some kids, but of DD and SIL had chosen them I would have put up with it??
It is not our business to be hurt or otherwise by the baby's parents' choice .
And to say one's "husband is so hurt" ????
No hurt was presumably intended, none should be taken.

Family names continued on my fathers side and I have had to go through all family photos to differentiate who is who for future generations.

I do Ancestry trees for friends and have enormous problems sorting out who is who because of reusing boys names down through the generations. Often back In The 19th century if the first born died, the next boy would be given the same name, which makes it even more difficult to pin down dates.

My DD and SIL liked the name of Tom for their son, but couldn't use it, as the initial in front of their surname would have been rather embarrassing. Think Trotters Independent Traders.

Sorry. Meant to be, when as adults.

My first husband came from an Irish family & all the first born boys were Michael & the first born girls Ann. We gave our first son Michael as a middle name & never had a girl. My eldest son carried on middle name & younger son gave my Dad's name a second name.
I think it is daft to give the same first name as dad as every time a letter arrives for them no-one knows who is is for with 2 Mr D Smiths in family etc.
I think it may be time to move on TBH.

I agree with the view that if the child is healthy that is the most important thing. It is not worth getting upset about a name - just appreciate the joy of having a new baby in the family.

Definitely the parents' choice. Sad for DGD but after all, he's a grown up!

My first name is after my Grandmother and I hate it, thankfully I go by my middle name, my Husband has his Dad's name as his middle one and he dislikes that too.

Our son's name broke a five generation tradition but DH was adamant there had been enough men in the family with his name!

Handing down of family names cannot be such a bad thing these days when one observes what many of todays parents are subjecting their children to.
River? Bear? Brooklyn? Saint?
Poor kids. Should any of these children be in the military or police force where they are not just mr or mrs but given a rank they could be subjected to ridicule.

I always feel a bit sorry for children with hand me down names. It's almost like it's not their name at all, plus it gets very confusing.

Let it go. As people say names come back again. I had no idea when we called out eldest son what we thought was a novel name it was actually the middle name of my mother's youngest brother.

Now another branch of the family have called their daughter after my middle name which was my grand mothers' her great great grandmother's. I felt a bit suprised that they they did not tell me but I imagine they did not know.

Choosing a name is the parents right but it's not just a simple issue. Names indicate who or what you value, pecking orders are made very clear. These days fathers seem to give in to their partners. As a Mum of 4 sons I have seen over and over again how this works. The girls family and parents are always preferred in most situations and I am now used to being second in line. I never speak of it to them or say how hurt I am sometimes in order to preserve relationships. I have no sisters, no mother or Aunts, no daughters. My granddaughters are my closest female relatives so when they are named after the other grandmother it's hard. My name is definitely not trendy but would have been ok as a second perhaps. I don't know why this all hurts so much

I'm sorry for your disappointment but it really is up to the parents not the grandparents. Our grandchildren both have family names as their second name, would that be a possibility? Please, please, please don't let this get in the way of your relationship with your family. It really isn't worth it. In time he'll just fit the name they've given him.

I faced this forty two years ago when our son was born. The generational name was so old fashioned. My Husband had it as a first name (still has) but has always been called by his second, very popular and straightforward name and has never understood why his first name was not given as a middle name. Anyway, we both stood firm and chose a name we both liked. It was an unpopular stance but our choice and never regretted.

Be happy with what you have, why do GP obsess so much about how they would do things? Yesterday someone spoke about the 'grandmotherly experience' the lack of which, as defined by herself caused her pain, we have the motherley experience we had all the choices we called all the shots. Now it is someone else's turn.

Is your husband really 'hurt' or is that you thinking how he should feel.

If you have a healthy grandchild with whom you can spend time and build a relationship then you are blessed.......

As most say, you have had your turn so let your family choose the names.
My older son and his wife are also expecting a second daughter at the end of next month. Flora has informed me that as their older daughter does have my name as her second name, this time it will be her mother's name, which is understandable.
I gave both the lads a family name as their second name, one from my husband's family and one from mine, but definitely not a first.

Parents have the choice of their children's names. I have never understood the tradition of calling a son after his father, grandfather etc. It just leads to confusion.

It's not your child so you need to move on . Don't let it spoil your enjoyment of a beautiful new baby.

Names are choices of parents, not GPs. Congratulations!

My DH is G IV,
his eldest son is G V, he was known as Wee G, is 6'4".
His son is G VI and is mini G.
All first names and a darn nuisance.
Another grandchild got G as a middle name.

My maiden name was an adjective and would have been absurd as a middle name. The DC have carried on the family tradition of having William as a middle name for their first DS. No pressure at all from us, though I was touched that they wanted to do it. I'm sure they wouldn't have though if they hadn't liked the name anyway.

Did anyone else ever try out the surname of boyfriends with their own first name to see if they liked it or not?

Or perhaps some people married their very first boyfriend

I never liked it very much but it has been fairly easy to trace the family history on that side!

Ooh Jalima, now, that's got me wondering what it could be!!!

Ds2 had my maiden name as a middle name, it seemed to work well!

I wouldn't give a child my maiden name but one or two surnames have been passed down through our family - as second names only.