Passing down family name

I rather like the tradition in Mr absent's family of giving the mother's maiden name as the second name of the eldest son. However, I can think of many surnames that would sound simply absurd.

Two of my grandchildren have second names with family connections; all of the first names are new, theirs and theirs alone. I like them all.

I didn't realise that anyone did this any more.

Sometimes it is nice to carry on a family name - although it can be confusing unless it is used as a second name.
But no-one should feel upset or hurt if the new parents want to choose something completely different - or a name that has been carried down through the mother's family either.

NewGM really ? Get over it and move on. The mother must have her say and clearly does not share your views.

DH's family have a family name but it is given as a middle name and most of the children have at least three names so there's plenty of variety. Luckily it's a namev that works for boys and girls.

Many congratulations on the new GC!

My OH's parents were heavily into "family" names - it seemed to be a peculiarly Scottish thing to me where you get poor girls called Donaldina to satisfy the desire for respecting heritage- but we and his two siblings did our own thing with our children and nobody died, or even turned a hair. I think you need to get over it and just appreciate the new baby.

Agree with all the others. Just enjoy the baby.

I know it's a bit of a disappointment but honestly you'll get over it. Our adult children were bought up by us to be independent thinkers and so they are. Both sides of my family share the same male name, our sons didn't follow the tradition and gave their sons very modern names. My daughter did give the name to her son(different surname though obviously) it causes nothing but confusion. When I'm talking about one of them I'm always asked " you mean greatgradad name grandad name son name or grandson name? and don't talk to me about receiving mail addressed to Mr name morethan2

When the child is grown, he may want to carry on the tradition himself and adopt the name.

I'm so glad we didn't have to follow my DHs traditional family name of Cecil. Luckily everyone hated it and it'd been relegated to a second name when it got to DH.

Feeling embarrassed oh dear I want to say get over it but that sounds really rude but truely it's nothing to do with anyone except the parents as to what to call a baby
Love the child and stop being selfish it's not your baby you had your chance at names now its theirs be glad you ve got a great little person in your life and also NEVER presume anything in his life he may not want to be an accountant/doctor or architect either he may want to be an artist or a hippie or a musician

Some peoples lives are very narrow, what more can I say, only enjoy what is left of yours before its all to late

Oh yes ... The Americans , my cousin married a Peter the Third , I kid you not , then she had 3 girls so the name was not carried on , such a fuss lol

Almost embarrassed...who to or for? The child's name is not your choice..and the child can choose to be called whatever they wish when they grow up! So sad you have let this petty little thing intrude on such a wonderful continuation of your family!

One of the hard lessons of being a grandparent I think. We have (and should not have) influence over decisions that are the parents own to make. As for your disappointment, you should be rejoicing in the newest addition to your family. Welcome this infant with open arms and forget your own agenda. Enjoy!

Don't allow this to cause a rift in the relationship with your DIL either. I am sure she is already feeling vulnerable having been brave enough to lead rather than follow. Many of my family are American and they seem to follow this tradition with an almost ridiculous zeal, although thankfully the younger generations are beginning to change this.

For goodness sake just be happy the baby is here safe and sound. I have always thought naming a son after his father grandfather etc is rather lacking in imagination. Everyone is entitled to name their child as they wish and it's nobody elses business. One of my DGDs has the name of my mad aunt who died before my DD was born so she didn't know. Now to cap it all my DGS has given his son her surname although he wasnt aware of her. But the names are their choices and not for me to say anything.

It is entirely up to the parents. Our DGD has a version of the family name as her second name. I will tell her about the family tradition, but as I said, it is entirely the parents choice and I did and said absolutely nothing to suggest they should use it.

On both sides of my family there were traditions around boys names - broken by an aunt and uncle who moved away from John **. My brother has resumed this tradition but of course the surname is different.

I would have wanted my son to have a traditional boy family name but DH wanted first choice and sometimes its good to accept change - the child is unique and its ''own self'' after all.

I have a cousin with my first and second names - and other women in the family on that side have mine or my grandmothers first or/and second names in a variation.

Every child is unique, its up to the parents I believe.

We have a family tradition of NOT naming anyone after a member of the family.

Congratulations on the birth of the baby, but other than that, sorry, just get over it!

Why on earth shouldn't your son and DIL make their own choice?
Sheesh................

Just let it go. The name may come back in future generations anyway. I thought I had 'different' names for my DSs but it turned out we had chosen names which had been used on one or the other side of the family years ago

I was glad none of my DGC were called by my name , two have it as a second name , but I never remember which two !!

We have papa Jim, Big Jim and Wee Jim. We have had to change Wee Jim into Young Jim (as he is pushing 40 and didn't want to be called "wee" any more.)That was our choice to keep the family name going.
However, I too believe that it is up to the the parents to choose and not the grandparents. Just enjoy your new grandson.

aggie We must be related, we have Wee John, Big john, Auld John (DD is 85 today) Wee Johnny etc. Not one of my Sons were called John.

I agree its down to the parents to choose the child's name. It's not that important in the grand scheme of things and certainly not worth causing a rift over.

It seems somewhat unrealistic to have expectations as a grandparent in this day and age, that the mother would not want a major say in the naming of her first born. "It just seems wrong" Why? this name you want does not pertain to her side of the family "Everyone assumed that it would be named after father, grandfather etc". Maybe that's the problem it's not your prerogative as grandparents to assume that the name is a foregone conclusion just because it's been passed down for a few generations. It's her child, of course she wants a choice in what she names it, maybe she doesn't like the family name. This is the sort of post that Mumsnet would make mincemeat of, don't be tempted to wander over there asking for their thoughts.

Congratulations on the birth of your new grandchild whatever his name is.