Passing down family name

My eldest son has the third name Fraser and I told him once that it was an old family name. They have used that name as the third name of both their sons, giving them the first and second names of my father as their second name. I had no idea they were going to do this but was very touched.

Speaking of unfortunate names, a workmate once told me her mother once worked as a Registrar. Although they weren't supposed to say much about parents' choice, when a couple announced they were naming their son Shed, she did query whether they had given it much thought. They replied that that was where they 'got him'. Perhaps it was lucky he wasn't conceived in the toilet. ?

Presumably child has fatherr's surname? You also want child to have his forename as well! Maybe the mother has traditional family names as well?
Sorry, but no sympathy from here.

When someone new posts
Husband is so hurt. How do we deal? I know there is nothing we can do, but it just seems wrong
Everyone just assumed name would be after father etc

Does the question "How do we deal?" not invite comments?
When several familiar GN names then offer their input as grandparents, usually with many years experience - and kindly, not in any aggressive manner - how on earth can OP say
"Nasty people you need to get a life and not go trolling the Internet to bully people with your attitude"
< BTW can we blame Trump for the use of "nasty people" >
The suggestion that OP needed to get over it and move on was, IMHO meant literally and from OP's original comments there clearly was an issue to "get over", so not a meaningless dismissive phrase.
Someone's "knee jerk" original post looked like she felt hurt and there was a genuine attempt to help her achieve a more positive attitude, but that later post suggests it was perhaps just more of a bit of a hissy fit

Surely the naming of a child is down to the parents. Handed down names are so archaic.Any family researchers will bless them for giving the child his own identity.Speaking as a family researcher it's a nightmare finding out about ancestors with the same name. A new baby in the family should be a time for joy, enjoy him, whatever his name is. My baby grandson is called Samson, I don't like it but I adore him, so I call him Sam, nobody minds. With all the dreadful things happening in the world you are really lucky if this is your only worry.

A rose, by any other name?

I named my beautiful eldest daughter after my beloved Nana Jessie. However this was my choice, if she had been a boy she would have been named Peter after my Grandad. You seem to be blaming your sons wife, its her child she can call it what she wants. If little things like this are troubling you I would step back cos the last thing you need is to alienate yr sons wife! Trust me he will always vouch for his wife (and so he should) just enjoy the baby xx

I agree with all the other comments. If you are lucky enough for your name to be included ( let's face it if it's not on trend ) then wonderful. If not then you ah e a beautiful grandchild in your life. Wonderful and enjoy xxx

I don't think NewGM has learnt anything. But where did she learn about trolls, etc. As above I think she should re read her post as you rarely get such a united response from gransnetters.

NewGN, I have read nothing on this thread that is trolling. In your original OP, you expressed a feeling of disappointment at the family name being dropped, which I think is shared by number of us, when it happened, but when you talk of your husband being hurt and ask how you do you deal with the disappointment, at that point you lost most of us. A twinge of disappointment, unexpressed, at a name not being used, is one thing. People being hurt and struggling to deal with such an event, seems to most of us an overreaction.

I can see that you thought your reactions were normal and you expected to get a lot of sympathy for your predicament. It is unfortunate, for you, that most of us who have faced the same problem have accepted that parents should have total freedom to name their child what they will, and we have kept any minor feelings of disappointment to ourselves because we accept that premise.

However not agreeing with you and saying so or expressing surprise at the strength of your reactions is not trolling. Everything written here has been civil and polite. Sometimes other people do not agree with us and most people understand and accept this.

I have to say I can't understand this insistence on a family name. I know someone whose husband HAD to have a son with the same name, and that son has done the same - it's so confusing - we never know which one of the 3 she's talking about.
Parents should have a free hand in choosing names IMO, though having said that, I'm very glad dd didn't pick any of the many names I really can't stand for her two!

Nasty people, you really need to get a life and not troll these forums looking for places to bully people with your attitudes.

Trolls? Pot calling the kettle here I think .

Most of the posters on this thread are regulars on GN.

The surest way to experience disappointment is to have expectations of other people. Acceptance is key - I agree with the others when they say that naming a child is nothing to do with anyone but the parents.
Perhaps you could ask your husband exactly why it's so important to him? My guess is that the reason(s) will be rather nebulous.
As Hamlet said to Rosencrantz "...there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so...."
Enjoy the new life in your family.

NewGM.....please re-read your original post carefully in the cold light of day and try to understand what sort of an impression it gave to us. The style and language of your OP gave many of us a certain impression, the fact that so many of us jumped to these conclusions is a testament to the way you stated your case.
There was no mention of your relationship to your children....you simply referred to your DIL as 'the wife'. As to your comment about trolling!!!! Well I am amazed.

BTW, my DD and her partner gave their sons the names of one grandad and one great grandad as middle names. Out of affection for the men in question, and because they liked the names, not because of any tradition. That's a much nicer thing to do, I think.

Mind you, their not using grandfather names would not be a sign of lack of affection.

How on earth is it wrong for parents to choose their own kids' names without reference to their parents and grandparents and great grandparents, etc? Also, the family tradition mentioned is only the tradition of the family of one parent. For all we know the father in question might be very happy to break the tradition and so insisted his wife do the name choosing.

I think the only embarassment you should feel is that of having unreasonable expectations about something that is none of your business.

None of this post is said unkindly, just straight down the line.

OP-er here... first a few things- first, this was my first post ever here, I did not bookmark the thread, was just searching the internet and found this forum so I had not even had time to get back to it, I was not avoiding it or ignoring it - had no way of knowing how many or if any responses I would even get. 2nd I was not looking for any solution to my issue, obviously there is none because I know we have no control over what the parents name him, I was just looking for a little support, which apparently this forum is not really for because I have to say most of your responses were cruel. We have a very good relationship with the parents, love them to death and will love this GC also regardless of his name, just was interested if anyone had previously had this issue and how they personally handled it- not looking to be told "GET OVER IT" obviously we will, there is nothing to GET OVER, it was a matter of feelings, which most of you posters do not have. Nasty people, you really need to get a life and not troll these forums looking for places to bully people with your attitudes. Posters who were sensitive and offered actual thoughts they were appreciated. Good luck to all. Thank you for those who responded with an open heart.

My own feeling is that you should forget 'traditional' or family names but think positively about what you want for the child. If you christen it Baby Boo, what happens when he or she becomes a judge, or a doctor, or a person of authority? What would people think about Prime Minister Baby Boo or Judge Baby Boo - no, I don't think so.

No wonder she has not returned - many of these comments are very negative and hurtful. Of course he's upset - it's only natural in the circumstances. I'm sure they will both get used to it, but to tell them it's silly is a bit unkind, whatever your views.

Can't see the problem! You have a lovely new healthy GC - what does it matter what they call him?

"Husband is so hurt" - dear dear - it is all a bit silly I think.

Sorry to be so blunt; but if you start voicing these negative views with your family you will reap some very unwanted rewards at a time when lots of good things should be in store.

I too noticed that the OP has not returned.......

I have hardly ever been called by my actual name (usually when my mother was cross with me)!
Don't concern yourself about it - just enjoy the new arrival.
Probably others in the family will be glad to use the traditional name in due course.

Why is your husband "so hurt"? Surely it's more important that he is remembered as a loving and supportive figure in your grandsons life than just a name on a certificate. There are many ways family traditions can be carried on ie. Christmas, Easter and birthday celebrations. My Gran and late mum would only concede to an alcoholic drink by having a sherry whilst cooking Christmas dinner, this tradition has carried on and every Christmas, I and my two DDs toast them with a Bristol Cream whilst basting the turkey every year. These little family idiosycrises are the glue of family life, not a name on a piece of paper.

A happy healthy baby, what more could anyone ask?

When baby is older, he can always, if he grows up being concerned about past generations, add on the name by deed poll or choose to be known as that name.

But please don't get stuck with what is 'right' or 'wrong', which all sounds a tad precious to me.

But everyone is different, and I do hope that your husband gets over his 'hurt'. I'm sure will all love the baby despite the different name. ?

Does anyone else think the OP had a title to hand down.......or is that just me?

Tidyskatemum, I like the story of the poor girl called Donaldina! My husband, also a Scot, had an aunt called Jamesina. She was always called Essie. IMO, the name should be one decided on by the parents. We purposely chose names that no-one in our families had ever borne before.Made sense to us!