Being a step-parent and step-grandparent

Sounds like there's a lot more to this than just a walk that you especially didn't enjoy. What is your relationship like when it's just the two of you ? Do you sit together and watch tv and chat? Go out for lunch together ?
I'm just wondering if your problems arise only when his family are around ?
It was unkind of him to let you struggle on your own on the walk and then to go out but not say where or when he would be home.
You've been together along time. I wonder why you decided to marry him after being together for so long ?
Also, was he this unkind before you married ?

Christinefrance

Ah, no, I did not make that clear. Probably because last night he disappeared again in the evening - didn't even say he was going out and returned about 10.00 pm. I have no idea where he was.

The birthday was his 79th. All he said to me before it was that his daughter (he was divorced and has 3 adult daughters and a son). He seemed to know nothing more than the time to meet up before hand, then his daughter, who arranged the walk asked him to pick up two other children beforehand who were staying overnight at the son's half an hour beforehand - one of them being her son. He never denies his children anything - I expect that it guilt. The previous time we went on this particular walk (about a month ago) one of the other grandchildren "got winded" on one of the hills, so it can be quite fraught.

I'm not sure from your post whether it was your birthday when the walk was arranged. If so then it was not at all thoughtful of your husband. Seems he wanted to do his own thing regardless of everyone. You say he left everyone behind and went off on his own. Is he worried about something? is this behaviour unusual for him ? My husband enjoys cycling which I hate so he goes off with friends and I do my own thing but we check we are both ok with the arrangements. Perhaps you need to talk about what happened and see if there are underlying problems.

You've been a part of this family for a long-time so I'm sure you don't feel that you are a newbie trying to fit in . Perhaps the next time a walk is mentioned, suggest one along a river so that you don't need to huff and puff up a hill. Or that you make a few sandwiches and then stay at home to make lunch for when they get back. Yes, your husband was insensitive to you, but if you cannot discuss this with him , I think your marriage is already in crisis and not just due to this walk.

I can understand your OH wanting to keep in touch with his children and a walk can be a nice thing to do, but....he's being totally inconsiderate to you. Going off without saying anything for a night, not speaking to you on the walk even when you were plainly struggling, never visiting your family. Something isn't right here. It sounds as it's not just about the family. You need to have a proper conversation or maybe see a realationship counsellor.