My five-year-old grandson – fifth child in the family – started school this year, where he is doing very well with his reading, writing and 'rithmetic, as well as his behaviour and socialisation with his peers. He has always been a fairly easy child to look after, but now he is flexing his metaphorical muscles at the expense of the two-year-old. I have pointed out that some of his actions are actually bullying, which he vehemently denies, and explained the necessity of being kind to and patient with his little brother, even when his little brother is a bit of a pain – leave it to me to deal with that – just as his older brothers had to be kind to and patient with him. It is, of course, a process and can be quite exhausting.
Shouting is not the answer and the person most upset by it is the shouter (i.e. granny). Don't do that to yourself. I find that withdrawing myself slightly, but only to a limited extent, tends to work and, as soon as there is an approach, I will happily read stories or do puzzles or play board games. As I have already said, it is a process and it takes time. As children move out of pre-school stage they are capable of being very manipulative. Never, never, never, forget that you are the adult.
I think playing outside after school is a great way of allowing my older grandchildren to let off steam and stretch themselves after a day of behaving well and paying attention in school and am lucky to live in a country where the weather usually allows this. I also live within a short child-walking distance from a huge field, playground, basketball court etc. (We have recently had freezing cold, torrential rain and, today, a thick mist so that one didn't work out.)