Too close to grandchildren?

Absolutely not. I loved having my own children. It was amazing to be a Mum and I loved (almost) every minute but my grandchildren - all 8 of them - aren't mine. I love them all in a different way, love to spend time with them but it's a more distant love than I had for my own children.

I do not wish my grandchildren were my own children but I love them as much for sure.

My DS and family have just left after a week with us, and we miss them already. Both DGDs are delightful. Bright, funny, happy girls. I just wish their parents would be a little moe assertive with them.Any request or decision involves long discussion. If I ask them to come in from the garden for dinner,I don't expect to negotiate a few more minutes, when I have finished this etc.

Very interesting points raised here.

I have a DCS aged 17, DGD 15 children of DD & DSiL raised as caring, lovely people, like their parents. I am immensely proud of them both, love their company and would do anything for them all.
Youngest DS has DGD, 4 and baby DGS . Their parenting skills leave a lot to be desired and although DGD is a delightful child and I enjoy her company without her parents, I am concerned for the future of both of them, but keep my opinions to myself. To clarify, they are not in danger from physical abuse or anything , are loved but taught no manners, far too many cheap, tatty toys which are played with once, ruined then discarded, dressed IMO, like chavs in badly made, horrible clothes, don't have feet measured, have c...p food at anytime of day and so on. Both parents have been brought up well, educated, good jobs, like the best for themselves( cars, clothing, social life) so I do not understand the attitude towards their children at all.
Finally, eldest DS and partner have just adopted a little boy 10 months and from the moment I met him, unexpectedly, felt overwhelming love for this little chap. Both parents have the same values as us DD and he will be brought up as eldest GC. I love and adore them all, but was expecting to take more time with the newest addition to the family.

In agreement with others, glad to be GPs and not have the ultimate responsibility, but woluld, in the event of necessity, gladly take any of them on full time.

I will be honest. I think it's a concern when grandparents "wish that their grandkids were their own"...that to me is VERY disturbing!

I have 5 grandchildren and I adore them all, I don't think that you can ever love them too much. My eldest grandson is at Uni and we don't see him so often but it's lovely when we do. The girls come and stay with us for a while every Summer and as we are all keen birdwatchers we have a lot of fun. The two other boys are too young to stay yet but they will when they get a bit older. They are very precious but I have never wished that they were my own children.

I love my grandchildren just as much as my children. Felt exactly the same rush of overwhelming love when they were born. They are twins so arrived obviously at the same time and I am fiercely protective of them but check all decisions I make with their mother, they are not actually my own children. I see them most days as I now live in the next street to them after relocating and it's so marvellous, completely changed my life.

Absolutely!

Perfectly put jacq10.

I am a fairly young grandma to an 11, 9 and 7 year old. (well i'm 55) and I think I am quite "with it" (how naff does that even sound?). I enjoy some of the music they love, I share some of their interests and are happy to watch them participate in their dancing, gymnastics, football etc. I like most of the fashion they like too. But.... and its a big but, I am still much too old (and out of touch) to be their mum (although I physically could be).

I love them to distraction but I am glad they're not my children.

My DGS lives 2 miles away and we see him a lot. At the moment 3days a week until September. I love him to bits but when his dad picked him up last night we both heaved a sigh of relief , collapsed on the sofa and enjoyed a glass of wine.
I love him in a different way to my girls, My timetable is him whilst he is here so it's easier than parenthood when I had a 100 things to do as well as give quality time.

I love our grandson to bits and the new grandson due anytime in the next 2 weeks. I am glad I have the joy now and none of the worries (I can still have over my 4 grown youngsters) I love them dearly however glad to hand them back. It is a different sort of love. Yes its unconditional like for my adult children however different cos the responsibility is not on me

I read a quote that said "you love your children but are in love with your grandchildren" which applies to me!!

Grandchildren are just the most brilliant invention! Fell in love with GS1 from day one and have got a fantastic bond. The other three grandchildren are all amazing too and I love them all to bits. We childmind all of them at different times, two DGDs weekly, two DGSs for a week in each school holidays. Love taking them out on trips etc. But it is tiring and sometimes it is a relief to hand them back.
I admit that my husband has much more energy than me and he will be the one doing physical things with them (such as football, playing 'monsters' etc) while I tend to read with them, play chess or do art with them.
That's the beauty of grandchildren -all the fun without the responsibility of sleepless nights.

OK so I'm (sort of) half way through the third week of summer holidays looking after DGS. He is 7 years old and I currently have him about 8 hours per day, Monday to Friday, and I am kn***ered! He is my only GC, son of my only child. I live alone and his other grandparents live abroad.

I have been involved with his daily care since he was just under one year old. We live close by - I retired and moved here to help them - and wouldn't have it any other way. I adore him and for a long time didn't think I would ever have a GC. BUT do I think of him as my own? No way! I help them in order to help my own DS, who has a very demanding job, and DDIL, whose work is always more frenetic during school holidays. Thankfully his other grandma is arriving at the weekend before they all go on holiday together. I will then be able to lie-in if I want to and browse the supermarket, rather than just have essentials delivered, as I do like to select my own fruit and veg.

DGS is an adorable charmer but he has his problems which can take a toll on all of us.

I get awful feelings of empathy for my GC, one in particular, he's 4, the only boy, and can be a little naughty if you listen to his DM and DD. I don't quite see it, I see inquisitiveness and a little extra boundary pushing so I am constantly seeing things from his point of view especially when he's upset because he's been told off again. I don't interfere, I keep my opinions to myself although I do give bigger hugs and squeezes. I've been a foster mum for over 22 years and a childminder before that, and this is a whole new feeling. (Could be chemo related as this is a permanent part of my life now)

My sister and I (both new grandmothers) 'How did we manage when ours were little?' Both of us adore our toddler scraps, who are both of a very sunny disposition, and so incredibly easy to love.
Personally I am amazed how much I love looking after her, but I am so tired afterwards. From what she tells me, I think my sister feels the same on both counts.
When little one nearly said Nana last week, I nearly burst with joy.

I think I appreciate my DGD much more than I did my own DDs. I don't have the day-to-day worries of child raising, just the sheer joy of her company as often as I can. I think for me that's the difference -acceptance of this little person just as she is without worrying about her tomorrows.

We love our DGC very much but is that because we get the good bits and can hand them back at the end of the day. No broken nights, early mornings and plenty of time to give them attention and not get cross because they are dawdling when you are in a hurry to get out. Plenty of time to 'smell the roses' which we do on many occasions.

I looked after my gd 3 days a week from 8 months old until she started school so this probably explains close bond. We also make a point of having a weeks family holiday a year - gives daughter and sil extra support and us tine with gcs. Gd loves this time and has also expressed the wish that we all live together!

I have a very close bond with my 5yo gd. I was birthing partner, along with sil, and loved her from the moment she appeared. We share a sense of humour and have wonderful silly times together. I don't offer unsolicited advice, but am available when needed. But I'm glad I don't have ultimate responsibility!

I fell in love with my grandson at first sight, and love him as much as I love my own children. I look after him two days a week and we have a wonderful bond. I don't, however, wish he was my own child! I'm happy to say bye-bye at the end of a fun-filled but exhausting day!

Only have one gc and she lives with us. Love her to bits even though she is a madcap teenager. Loved her daddy and her Aunty the very same way.

Just not possible. Enjoy.

My love for my grandkids is extremely deep and I miss the 4 who now live overseas. When they went, I felt my heart would break.

However, the other 2 live with us, as do their mum and dad, and being with them every day is an enormous comfort. As they are home-schooled, and I do a lot of the work with them, I spend a great deal of time with them. I am often pretty tired by the end of the day, but it's worth it. I don't delude myself that I am their mum - in fact, I'm always glad I can say "I can't decide that, ask your mum" when they are moaning for something! - but I do understand the sentiment. I think it's perfectly natural for a grandparent to feel that way.