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Grandparenting

Is it ever acceptable to say enough is enough

(29 Posts)
britgran Sun 13-Aug-17 20:36:06

I've posted before about my youngest DS and his numerous problems with being bulimic, he's 43 and has had this horrendous eating disorder since being a teenager, he was always a funny friendly lad, he's now a man full of rage and moody beyond belief, I'm 100% sure this broke up his first marriage, he treated his first wife dreadfully, I'm ashamed to say he was everything I hate in a man..... he remarried and has two darling baby daughters, but I see him acting the same way as before, today once again our DiL came round terribly upset, he's like Jekyll and Hyde,and needs professional help we've talked and talked I've been to doctors with him and counselling but he doesn't keep it up, he has Prozac medication but stops taking it cause he says he's fine, I read lots of advice on here where you very wise folk, say be there for your family member and support him when needed......I must be a mean cow cause I'm sick to death of him, if he won't help himself how can we help him, .....I'll do anything to protect our DGC but surely it's ok to say enough is enough where he is concerned

blue60 Tue 15-Aug-17 21:03:12

Sometimes, you need to step back when all you are saying and doing to help is not having much effect it seems.

Yes, it's a hard thing to do, but a short break away from the turmoil will probably help your thoughts and clear your own mind. I wish you well, and admire the way you have been of such support. He's lucky you are there for him, even though he may not realise it yet.

Take care xx

Shizam Wed 16-Aug-17 00:54:23

A dear and old friend, is in the same boat. Except it's alcoholism, drugs, with his daughter. And abusive partner. They've tried everything. He's 80. So hard to help. He now doesn't want to meet because he's so low with it all.

jimmyRFU Wed 16-Aug-17 11:12:42

Its difficult to keep the old adage in mind that they are adults and need to take responsibility and do it for themselves. Unless a person seeks help, or admits they have a problem and asks for your help there is nothing you can do. Its hard to stand back and see a person you love be an utter idiot and wreck their's and others lives but sometimes there is nothing can be done.