Granddaughter wants to live with me !

Thank you

Hello Wally I think if your grandson lived with you till he was 29 you must have done a pretty good job. Congratulations

Pass on the child benefit or whatever it is called these days.
I am sure this has happened before when people had smaller houses.

Bbbface
There has to be certain agreements about a non parent getting child benefit. I am sure it is not quite as simple as it sounds. The parents have parental responsibilty. That needs to be checked out.

Hi everyone I'm new so hear goes. When our eldest grandson was two years of age both his parents were in a bad place and it was put to us that if we didn't take him on he would be adopted. So he came to live with us and we wholly supported him. We put him through university and he left home at twenty nine to live with his wife. It was tough at times but we feel privileged to have brought him up and he has made us so proud and we love him dearly. I think if you lose your granddaughter you will forever regret it.

Sorry to give you the wrong info , it does look like you will be able to get the child benefit and child tax credits if you receive no other money for the child

I can't get it due to my fostering maintenance payment for my Grandson , hope that helps

I am a bit baffled myself now after looking it up for you lol

I have been told I cannot get child benefit and child tax credits for my Grandson as he is not legally classed as my dependent but then some stuff online says otherwise , so I might give the relevant offices a ring myself and find out and it will be worth you ringing them too to 'find out from the horses mouth' as it looks like there are conflicting 'rules' / information out there on the internet lol

I might not get it because I get a maintenance payment for fostering him as a family member x

You won't get child benefit and child tax credits if she is simply 'living with you' you would have to become her legal guardian in order to claim those

Thing is if the child is not living with the parents they are not allowed to claim it either if my understanding is right?

( My Grandson lives with me and neither my daughter nor I receive tax credits or child benefit for him )

The authorities would call this a 'voluntary arrangement' so they do not help financially either but it would be worth finding out IF your daughter can still claim tax credits and child benefit for your Granddaughter if she does not live with them xx

Then they can pay it to you x

Over the years, I have had all five granddaughters living with me for various periods. Some were financed, some I claimed child credit for (never again, I ended up owing them money when my income went up a little). The last two are still with me - one is at uni but here for the never-ending holidays, the other is at work. My daughters have been involved at all times with no difficulties (mum's house - mum's rules, nana's house - nana's rules). It is a bit of a rollercoaster at times but I have never regretted it. Good luck!

tiredoldwomen What have you decided?

Ofcourse you can do it, like Bambam my life revolves around 5 with special needs 34 to 12 (all adopted) I am 74 yikes! The 12 and 18 year old have complex health needs and are hard work, the oldest 3 have Down Syndrome and are a delight.
As Bambam says stick to your ground rules and enjoy you certainly not be lonely and good luck!

You asked if anyone is doing something similar tiredoldwoman.
I look after vulnerable adults in my own home through a charity. They are between 16 and 21 and have usually run away from bad homes and bad parents, the criteria is that"they cannot remain in the family home for any reason). A lot have been abused and have self harmed.
Here they have their own room, which is their responsibility to keep clean and tidy. They are safe and start to relax, they return to full time education. I teach them, as we go along to wash clothes, clean kitchen and bathroom and cook etc.
I am 69 now and have been doing this for 17years. I have two young people at a time. There have been only a couple of naughty ones over the years,(they have to leave) most have been pretty easy
and are lovely girls who go on to have jobs and live independently.
Give it a go with your delightful Gd. Make ground rules and stick to them. I think you will enjoy it.

Would you not get financial help from your GD's parents?

Also if you are going to be the main carer then Child Benefit should be paid to you.

HOWEVER there are other things to think about

Do you have the energy because I know that after a days babysitting I need a days rest!!

If you do have the energy it might be a good thing for both of you.

I lived with my Nan when I was little and I loved it and really did not want to go back home, nothing wrong with my parents, but just preferred it at my Nans.

Good luck with what ever you decide.

You can always come to gransnet if you ever need any advice or support

Generally agree with other comments. However, make absolutely sure that the extra expense is covered by her parents/child benefit etc.
Don't kid yourself that it won't cost much extra, teenagers eat for England, watch tv into the small hours, take long hot showers and if she's still with you once she officially becomes an adult you'll lose your single occupancy council tax discount as well.
Do some very careful calculations before taking this on.
And, if her home is overcrowded now it's hardly going to improve if there's a new baby on the way.

Oh Sheila, so sorry for the tragic loss of ds! But agree with Deedaa that your gd is very fortunate to have you!

Tiredoldwoman, I'm going to echo the question about whether or not the parents are on board with this. If you don't know, better to find out first, imo, before you give this any serious consideration.

If they are on board and it's really about "overcrowding," then it may be a beautiful thing to do - providing that the parents can and will cover the cost of gd's clothes, school supplies, etc.

After that, if you can just remember that gd could find herself missing home and wanting to move back, imo, you can take some joy in knowing you are/were there for her when she needs/needed it.

Is your granddaughter presently living with both her parents, or a step-parent - and full, or step-siblings? The shift in the family dynamic may differ as a result. How old is the next eldest, how does that child feel about becoming the eldest child in residence with the family? Could there be a possibility they too may ask to live with you?

PS Are you happy to be responsible for a 14 year old living in town - they can be quite wayward and difficult - although I realise that not all will be.

Yes, whoever looks after the child and who she lives with should receive the Child Benefit at least.

The fact your granddaughter has asked to come and live with you indicates the arrival of another brother or sister for her means space in the family home will be even more limited. At fourteen she is a young woman and she needs her own space to do the things fourteen year olds like to do, have friends round or visit them ?.
Do you feel able to cope?It is a large responsibility.

I am sure my eldest GD would, she is always asking to stay longer. She likes the peace and quiet, she says that nobody shouts in our house.

Oh and my point about being dependant on still going to same school was nothing to do with benefits. It was related to me saying "do it!"

Do her parent's know she has asked you this? They may be horrified and upset.

How frustrating *Nannarose*. You say my post is inaccurate but then fail to provide any meaningful information.

Ok. I will break it down for you nana rose.

Child benefit £137.50
Child tax credit for one child £2780 a year which is £282 a month. This is if the OP is earning less than £16,105 a year. More than that, the award will fall.

Equalling more than £400 a month.

This is an area I know about! 2 children and receiving CB and CTC.

It's not limited to parents. It's for those with responsibility for a child (ren) under 16.

You may have to prove "family breakdown" to claim Child Benefit or Tax Credits. It can get quite complicated, especially when the child goes to 6th form college or Uni. and claims grants and loans.

Have been reading the other posts and think it's great that your grandchild wants to live with you, but remember you will be looking after a child whose hormones are going to be raging through their bodies. Also, your relationship may change as at the moment you are not the one responsible for deciding the house rules e.g. what time they can stay out to. I remember my youngest daughters early teenage years well. I was the only mother in the whole town who made their daughter come in at a 'reasonable' time, the only mother in town who would not let their daughter go here and there and so on. I was only put on this world to stop her having any fun! Make sure that is not the reason she wants to live with you, that she sees you as a 'soft' touch. I am sure she is a lovely girl, but teenagers can suddenly become manipulating in order to get what they want. I think the idea of a trial period is wise so you both have a 'get out' clause if things don't work out as you both hoped. Good luck if it does go ahead, I must admit I am slightly jealous that your grandchild wants to live with you, would love one of mine to ask. Although the reality might not be the same lol!

Sheilasue what a terrible thing to happen. How lucky that your grandaughter had you. It certainly puts my problems into perspective