Granddaughter wants to live with me !

Well wouldn't her parents if they agree to her moving give you an allowence for her of course you dont say how old she is
I moved to be with my Nan when I was 15 as my grandad died and I didn't want her on her own we were very close The board and lodging bit costs no more really for two than one Electrucity, heating even food wouldn't be too much difference Hopefully her parents will provide clothes activity or travelling money for her won't they ?

I don't think this could/should be expected of you tiredoldwoman - if she is still a minor and her parents are happy with the idea, they will have to pay you a regular amount for her keep.

It would be really helpful to know if you are talking about a child, teenager or young person? The financial circumstances would be very different.

She's a delightful 14 year old , living out in the sticks until they can return to town. A 5th baby is due at Christmas and I think she needs some space to be a 14 year old ! ( she's the oldest ) I just wondered if anyone else on Gransnet was doing something similar ?

Obviously the financial aspects need careful consideration and discussion. Will she need to change schools? Are any of her friends local to you?. Does she do any regular activities or sports she'd like to keep up?
I think it lovely that DGD wants to stay with you and that you describe her as 'delightful'. I'm sure you'll all work things out between you. Good luck!

You will be able to claim child benefit and child tax credits if she is living with you full time.
What does her mother say / think of the idea of her living with you?
Is she close enough that she can still attend the same school?

I knew someone who did this for similar reasons, they were very happy with the arrangements but I have to say that finance was not an issue. Her parents should be able to contribute to her keep as obviously their bills will go down a bit. I would offer a trial basis, just to see how things pan out - say one term? I assume she will be staying at the same school, otherwise exam studying would be disrupted at this stage? It is a big commitment though, and my friend did end up running a taxi service!

Thanks everyone ( CassieJ especially). I'm still wide eyed about the request- lots to find out, think about, discuss !
It's most likely a flash in the pan idea - I'll let you know !
Have a good weekend everyone . x .

I too would discuss a trial period.
Firstly a shortish time, 2-3 weeks (include a weekend at least)
Then maybe a longer period (half a term?) and build in time off for you.

Obviously you'll need some basic rules, and make the point that you may need to discuss some things with her parents before you can answer. I would also be very clear about her chores and responsibilities in your home. It may help to talk some over, then revisit after the first trial period.

I imagine she will still be going home a lot, and will be the responsibility of her parents.

As long as it is kept informal, parents retain responsibility, any financial arrangement is purely expenses, then you can keep it informal. It would be a good idea to let school know 'she's staying with me for awhile', emphasising its temporary nature.

I think we'd all like to know how you get on - I too have known it work extremely well. Grand-daughter gets space, the benefit of your wisdom, learns some skills, and you get a young companion!

I would worry it would harm your GD's relationship with her siblings and parents.

I would do it in a flash! She's looking for love and time, not money. I'm sure her parents will help you out with some of the costs. Do it for her, it will do you good too and bring you very close. She's still very young, and you still have a chance to give her a helping hand into adult life. Bless you both, and good luck!

I certainly think you should give it a trial period. Plan for her to stay for a month and then see how you both feel about it. Be totally honest with her from the start - either you or she can decide that it isn't for the best and nobody need feel bad about it and you'll love her just the same.

After that, if you are both happy then you can make some more permanent arrangements with her parents re costs etc. It could be a lovely experience for you both.

I.v dun it still am
sort the ground rules out first thing .
all the best

Is she just dreaming, or is it a serious request? Such arrangements are not uncommon. How close are you? Would she continue at the same school?

She is delightful 14 year old now, soon she will be 16, when she may become rather different. I spent a fair bit of time rounding my teenage kids up of an evening, 11 ish was 'where are they time' will you be ready for that?

Her parents must remain responsible for her upkeep and welfare, if she needs a dental appt, will you be taking time off work for that?

I stayed with my granny every weekend from 11 until about 15, when I started work, it was fabulous.

I would do it if I were you. She needs space and will be doing her exams before too long and will need peace too. My teenage granddaughters live an hour away, lead busy social lives and we have grown a little apart which saddens me.

Can I please ask a perfectly simple question "Why the Hell are they having another child if the place they live in is OVER-CROWDED". Solution don't have any more children till you solve your housing problem then they wouldn't have the problem in the first place, would they?

Sorry if I'm just being oblivious but do you have the consent of her parents?

Because regardless of what you or she wants nothing at all will progress unless they agree.

Grab the opportunity with open arms! The finances will sort themselves out. Be grateful she loves you enough to come to you. You must be her santuary and place of safety, in her mind x Good luck

Good question Eileen666! If your daughter is unhappy about this, you don't want it to cause a rift between you. I am of the opinion that, unless you are in danger, teenagers need to live within their family unit as there is a lot to learn about family life and the problems you face. Running away from problems is rarely a good idea. However, if all parties are happy, as long as you are all singing from the same hymn sheet, financially you would received the child benefit and child tax credits if she officially lives with you but get advice from CAB first.

Tiredoldwoman - my grandson is coming up to 16 and sometimes stays the night for a break as he hasn't got his own room and enjoys a bit space when he stays. I only have a small house and the spare room is tiny. Sometimes he has said if I had more room he would come and live with me but to be honest I'd find that hard after many years on my own, though he is a really nice kid(especially for a teenager!) I find I do spend more though on food when he stays but it's not a problem. But, I'd give it my consideration if I were you.

Maybe let her stay at weekends and school holidays to see how the arrangement works out ...is it just overcrowding or the teenage hormones kicking in. If she can still attend the same school it would probably work out ok but another school could be a problem if she does,nt settle in easily and misses her old friends. Lots of thought needed before you come to a decision on this.

Do not worry about money.

You will receive about £400 a month in child benefit and child tax credit.

Do it!

Dependent on her stillgoong to same school of course