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On labour ward. This is stressful!

(142 Posts)
Flaxseed Thu 31-Aug-17 02:24:57

DD was admitted last night after a check for decreased foetal movements revealed high blood pressure at 38 weeks.
She only moved to her first home last week so her hospital bag was at mine.
I brought it up to hospital and now can't bring myself to leave her.
She has cannulas, a catheter, bp monitoring, foetal monitoring, and regular medication.
I work here (not a Midwife) so it's good to see familiar faces but I am not used to being 'on the other side' and it's so scary.
Just looking for a hand hold really confused

Morgana Tue 05-Sept-17 18:52:10

D.D. had difficult birth with first baby. She asked to be given a debrief which helped her to get her head round what had happened. Congrats on all the new births.

Flaxseed Tue 05-Sept-17 18:48:19

Thank you, you lovely ladies.

It's been so nice to offload to someone uninvolved. I couldn't offload to my parents or DD1 as they were just as stressed!

DD started to breast feed but got too stressed with positioning due to pain from her scar and enormous boobs which almost suffocated the poor mite at first (he turned blue!) and she really needed us to help with feeding.

Also, the paediatricians said it is important for him to take a certain amount each feed to reduce the jaundice, something that she can now measure accurately.
Whilst I believe 'breast is best', I was not in the least disappointed that she decided to bottle feed as I totally respected her decision. And as she said
'Mum, Fed is best'

I think I have caught up on my sleep now and am trying really hard to not reflect on the last week and think 'what if'. It has constantly played on my mind and does really upset me.

I've missed seeing them today!
Looking forward to cuddles tomorrow though.

Thanks again
You are all so supportive!

Swanny Tue 05-Sept-17 16:38:34

Such good news Flaxseed and such a relief for you all. Welcome home baby boy sunshine

Newquay Tue 05-Sept-17 16:28:54

Phew-now let the fun begin! Presume baby bottle fed so you can all assist? Let the poor woman get some rest.

paddyann Tue 05-Sept-17 16:19:10

very pleased they are both home and on the mend ,now take care of yourself for a couple of days before you start looking after them again.You'll be no use to them if you're tired and stressed..take care

Jane10 Tue 05-Sept-17 15:32:36

So glad to hear that! Time to rest, recover and get to know the baby. flowers

Flaxseed Tue 05-Sept-17 15:26:33

Sorry about punctuation!

Flaxseed Tue 05-Sept-17 15:24:48

Hi
Thanks for asking.
They waited ages yesterday to get little one's bilirubin levels checked again. Then hours for the results.
They had already said DD was ok to go home and she was getting so stressed.
I thought she'd have a breakdown if they said she's got to stay another night she was ashen through lack of sleep.
It made me so angry, I went up to the poor, overworked paediatrician that I found on the ward and demanded he spoke to her!
Although the levels had risen, they were below the treatment level, so they were discharged with advice to put baby in front of the window and to feed him every three hours.

She burst into tears when they got home bless her!

Today they are all bonding smile
DD's partner did all the night feeds so DD could sleep and she feels much better today.

Jane10 Tue 05-Sept-17 11:02:30

Me too! I bet her BP will come down once she's back in a nice quiet comfortable house with you all rallying round. Best wishes to you all.

Swanny Tue 05-Sept-17 10:34:12

Flaxseed what news? Thinking of you all and sending (((hugs))) x

Flaxseed Mon 04-Sept-17 10:38:57

Imperfect - shell shocked

This too. Added to the nutshell smile

Flaxseed Mon 04-Sept-17 10:35:54

Cornergran - we were almost scared to feel excited

This. In a nutshell.

Flaxseed Mon 04-Sept-17 10:32:46

You are all so kind it makes me well up!

I am sorry so many of you or yourDD's/DIL's have experienced traumatic births. However, your stories also reassure me, as I am still feeling very emotional!
Needless to say, I am all smiles and being reassuring to the new parents!

DD has had treatment for anxiety in the past and I know that when she has time to reflect on this will feel very low.
I hope the hospital recommend some kind of service to be able to talk it through.
But considering most of the staff just seem to see the patients as a bit of a nuisance - it's doubtful hmm!!

Anyway, today's update is that there is another chance of them going home.
Baby is off phototherapy but needs bloods at 12 to check he is maintaining the right levels.
DD's BP is bordering on the higher side but she is due her meds so hopefully it will come down.
I am at work later so will hopefully get a chance to pop and see them if they are still in.

DD's main concern today is constipation poor thing!

DD1 has the help rota set up so that DD2 knows who is around to help at any given time over the next 4 weeks!

Imperfect27 Mon 04-Sept-17 07:49:35

Flaxseed, I am so sorry your DD has had such an ordeal - and I know it can be very emotionally exhausting to watch and wait and feel so much is out of your control.

I had a traumatic birth with DD1 and she was carted off to special care, blue and in need of oxygen first of all - then jaundiced and needing the lamp treatment! Meanwhile I was left shell-shocked, no baby to hold and nursing a multitude of stitches - probably in shock for some time after.

BUT these times pass and there was the joy of her coming to the ward and then coming home with me within 5 days.

I do remember feeling extra weepy on about day 3/4 when my milk came in, hormones al over the place and so sore ... And I am thinking of your DD having to face this phase with more to deal with on top. Thank goodness she has you.

I hope for your DD that she goes from strength to strength and that the pain -physical and also disappointed expectations - is soon forgotten. xx

cornergran Mon 04-Sept-17 07:35:09

So much worry for everyone with a difficult birth, poorly Mum or poorly baby. We have had experience of poorly baby and Mum, at the time it felt like being in limbo. We were almost scared to feel excited. So hard to relax and enjoy the new little one. Fortunately things improved within two weeks, you'd never know know how difficult the beginning was, but it did seem forever. I hope there is better news today flaxseed and the little one settles into feeding dj, a big hug for you and your families.

Jamison Mon 04-Sept-17 06:37:02

Flaxseed, 41 years ago I was the same as your dd and grandson, my bp stayed very high after delivery for 9 days, its horrid, my baby was in scuba under light machine, after 10 days of worry we were both allowed home safe and well, my next pregnancy no preclampcia, but still high blood pressure, Please do not worry as much as we all did everything was fine and my darling babies are now extremely healthy and happy mummy's themselves xx

Elrel Sun 03-Sept-17 23:57:23

Congratulations to Flaxseed and Durhamjen on their new grandchildren. All good wishes for the health of the babies and their mothers.

durhamjen Sun 03-Sept-17 23:39:02

Thanks, Icyalittle.

He lost over ten per cent of his birthweight, so is now on an intensive feeding programme, which means breastfeeding him, expressing, then feeding by syringe. It takes an hour for every feed, so I feel sorry for his poor mum.
I'm sure it will only be for a few days, or at least we hope so.

Icyalittle Sun 03-Sept-17 21:46:15

Flaxseed I came on to say congratulations on your new little DGS but I am so sorry your DD is still struggling with her bp. I really hope it will settle soon and they will be home and can rest, both of them. I can relate to so much you have experienced with some nursing staff though, when my DD had her first by ECS - unbelievable at times, almost a wilful lack of care and compassion. Only some, most were great, but it makes illness so much worse than it could and should be. Chin up, home soon, and your 2 weeks with them is getting closer all the time.
Congratulations to Durhamjen too, I'm glad your DGS and his mother are home safely.

annsixty Sun 03-Sept-17 21:44:27

I am so sad for you and your D and her partner that what should be such a joyful and happy time is being marred by the experiences they are facing. It is good that the baby is safe and well but it will always be remembered as a stressful time.
I hope they forget quickly once she is home and they can start to enjoy family life together.

Swanny Sun 03-Sept-17 21:40:56

When DS was born nearly 50 years ago, jaundice a few days after birth was quite common. I thought they would have sorted that by now. So sorry to hear your DD's meds have had to be increased - is there any chance of her getting a side room to herself? Crying newborn babies are like unanswered telephones to me - why doesn't someone answer them?

Flaxseed Sun 03-Sept-17 21:24:58

Luckygirl, did your DD's BP go down quickly after delivery? Her experience sounds horrendous confused

Flaxseed Sun 03-Sept-17 21:19:57

They couldn't come home sad

BP meds have had to be increased again and now the baby is having phototherapy for jaundice.

DD is resigned to having to stay in and survive on 30 minute snatches of sleep. I don't know how she's doing it! I'm exhausted and I did finally catch up on sleep last night.

Luckygirl - to say a BP machine must be wrong when its reading that high in a pregnant woman beggars belief!

I was talking to a friend today who had pre eclampsia 24 years ago with her DD (my DD's school friend)
She said everything sounded so familiar and how she had hoped that things would have improved with the passage of time. Sadly, it seems not.
Her friend volunteers at the hospital ( as part of SANDS I think) helping bereaved parents and said there are still far too many babies being stillborn due to these kinds of conditions.

I just don't understand why this evil condition is still getting missed in the 21st century!

grannyqueenie Sun 03-Sept-17 14:17:48

Flaxseed what a hard time you're all having and just not the start you'd wish for that new little family. Hopefully things we'll settle soon and they can all be at home where life will be a bit less stressful. Just the thought of spending a night listening to several crying newborns would be enough to send my bp sky high!

Luckygirl Sun 03-Sept-17 11:27:46

Flaxseed - sorry to hear that your DD's care is leaving something to be desired - that is not acceptable. And as to being "fobbed off" - as I said upthread, the community midwife actually put my DD's high BP down to a faulty machine as she could not believe it was really that high. Boy did I have to bite my tongue!

It is a tough time for all, but there is one healthy, happily guzzling little boy there, so hang on to that! Your DD will recover soon and the worst will be over. You will all look back on this one day whilst chatting to a happy wee man.