Looking after Grandchildren

If the grandparents have no known reason for being unsuitable adults to have around children, then like others I can't see any difference if it is Granny or Grandad spending time with their grandchildren & babysitting

Glad I'm not alone in feeling I might be missing something. Surely anyone who can help bring up a child should be welcomed, especially these days? Children need any good influences they can possibly have.

I can't imagine my childhood without my grandfather. I was so lucky it's ridiculous! Dadah was happy to change and wash my nappies, feed me, bathe me, any of the millions of things babies need.

I can still hear him singing me to sleep with old music-hall songs. Reciting Shakespeare, Yeats, A.A. Milne. ('I do like a little bit of butter to my bread!') Responding with infinite kindness and patience to the endless refrain 'Tell me about India ...' His humour, integrity, curiosity, and complete lack of self-importance. His love of theatre, literature, history, and - most of all - of people and of life. His joy in running about, dancing and playing as if he were a child himself - looking back, I can't believe his vitality. He was like someone in his twenties till he was eighty-odd! (Wish I'd inherited that.) His unshakable belief in the value of every individual and refusal to close any part of his mind or heart. What I owe him, as well as my mother and grandmother, could never be expressed. Every day I have the examples of three remarkable people who lived love with every fibre of their beings. I wish I could be more like them - live more fully the goodness that they proved can be. But at least I've got the chance, and it's because of all three of them (and later, in many ways, my step-father).

The quiet times, reading or looking into the fire, just silently enjoying each other's company. The daft times, demonstrating a funny walk he'd seen or launching into his bang-on impressions of Peter Lorre or Sir Thomas Beecham. You can't put a price on the priceless, you can't put limits on love, and I can't for the life of me see that it matters if anyone who truly loves a child is male or female.

Not to mention the fact that a good grandfather can make life infinitely easier for Grans!

And here I'll end my little 'In Praise of Grandfathers' moment. Good grandparents are and to their grandchildren. Hugs to all who love and care for the young and vulnerable.

Absolute highlight of DHs life to go off cycling or anything really in the company of our 2 DGDs. And they love it too.
None of us, their parents or myself have any qualms at all

The bond between my son and my Dad is amazing. The love they share makes me well up sometimes. They are so passionately about the Sam etc you'd think my son was 60 and not 3!

The only concern I have is not for my son but rather my dad.
He just doesn't know when to take it easy or when to just stop and rest. He's suffering a lot more and I do worry about him.

But with Regards to my son I have absolutely no worries about my sons saftey or anything.

He was an extraordinary father and he's managed to excel himself as a grandfather. I'll never be able to show him how grateful I am to him.

Helmsley I meant granddaughter...the DIL was anxious originally about MIL looking after her daughter ....but nicely, it all works out and MIL gave an update on how well it was all going!

Do you mean gd or daughter

My husband and I share babysitting duties but recently I broke my wrist and couldn't manage carrying my youngest grandson around. My husband took over the babysitting and has been doing a very good job of it. Our grandchildren adore him and he adores them. Why has this lighthearted post slipped into a treatise on child sex abuse? GoldenAge I suggest you read the original post, just a thought!

The original post was in reply to a MIL saying her DIL was anxious about her caring for her grandaughter,,,who was then giving an update on how well it was all going which was nice. One of the comments in the thread was about how it wasn't appropriate for a grandad to look after a young child ...I asked why not but got no reply and neither did Iam64 who also asked.
There was no obvious reference to child abuse in the original comment.

My husband loves to look after our five year old daughter but won't take her out on his own. He worries she'll want to go to the toilet and he wouldn't know where to take her.

Bob they are in purple only to you and it highlights the fact that it is your post

Can someone help me, my comments keeping coming out purple and I can't seem to change it.

Xxno problem here with care from other half, the grand kids love him to bits and He is the step gran dad. In fact we took the 6 year old camping in a tent in the Lake District one year and I ended up in hospital many miles away with gallstones on day 2. I had to spend the rest of week there and was discharged on the return trip. My OH coped really well taking her on long hikes up high passes, and a kind lady in the tent near by did the honour of taking her for showers. My grand daughter declared it the best ever.

I have not seen the original post but here are the facts - child sex abuse is committed mainly by male family members and the targets are young and teenage girls. However, child sex abuse is also committed by female family members targeting both male and females. Additionally, it is committed by non-family members. Consequently, it is a complete nonsense to make a blanket assertion that grandfathers per se should not be left to care for grandchildren - and if this is what the original post said then it is wrong. What all parents should do is assess the competence and suitability of all the grandparents involved to take care of the grandchildren for however long a period of time, bearing in mind that the majority of children benefit from time spent with their grandparents and vice versa. The voice of sensibility and reason must prevail. As a grandparent whose grandchildren adore both their grandfathers, I know that in the normal family all of us have a role to play. And in the family where there has been known sex abuse, it is up to all the other family members to protect vulnerable children from the offenders irrespective of whether they are grandparents, parents, siblings.

My father was a wonderful and much loved granddad. I think it fair to say, as a 'man of his time' he wasn't keen on nappy duty and I was always a little happier in my mind if my mum was around in case that was needed, but he would step up if he had to . He was simply great with my children and I am aware that he let his guard down and was much more demonstrative in his affection than he was to me as a child - I am glad to have seen this 'new' dimension in him.

During school hols my DiLs DD takes our DGS for days out which they both love. No problems as he is very capable, has a car so can take DGS to places he would not normally be able to go to.

We have had our 19 month old DGS staying for a few days. DH got him up this morning, changed him and had a good old rough and tumble play before giving him breakfast and then reading several story books.Lots of giggles and the best way to build a good and loving relationship.

My husband is better with grandkids than me tho I love them to bits!

One assumes that fathers are deemed suitable for looking after their children so surely Grandfathers should be equally capable. I have a friend who lost his wife in the most vicious of circumstances and after 40 years of marriage, he felt completely lost. A year later his daughter had another baby and he has become her childminder. What a difference this has made to our friend. He has been reinvigorated. As he says, he missed out on bringing up his own children because he had to work all the hours God gave him in order to make ends meet so he feels like he is getting a second chance.

Haven't seen the original post, but my DH was the one who gave up work to care for our grandson from 3 months old and our granddaughter from birth. Now we do it together before and after school, but he did the lot, feeding, changing, taking them for walks or shopping and really enjoyed it.
I understand concerns about abuse are quite high, but the abusers at nurseries weren't all men.

I haven't seen the post either but I feel really affronted about this. My DH was very involved with our DDs and now with out DGDs. He'll do pretty much anything I'd do and is more fun I think as well. Grrrr.

My DH has always been a brilliant Dad to our two children all their lives and an equally wonderful Grandad to our four DGC from birth. He has always given them time, attention and absolute love.

I think it's a win-win situation for us all. As our eldest DGD told me one day, "Everyone loves Grandad". That brought a hint of a tear to my eye - it was said so sincerely.

I think it's absolutely wonderful how both Dads and Grandads are so much more hands on and involved than ever before. It's no longer just a woman's job and that is progress !

Having a father who in 1950 had no problems whatsoever with feeding babies, changing nappies and pushing prams and with my best friend (met much later) having a father who was similarly skilled. I just take it for granted that grandfathers are as capable as grandmothers in caring for small children.

I think that some, brought up in a culture / at a time where dads did very little, may feel that grandads don't have the same experience around very young children. Being sensitive to the fact that, depending on experience, they may not feel as automatically comfortable is sensible. Thinking it a reason to not allow care is not.

When I was 6, I was suddenly robbed of 2 wonderful grandmothers, one died, the other became very ill. How grateful I am for the love and care shown by my 'grampies'

Is it because someone is uncomfortable about a grandfather changing nappies, especially of a baby girl because of a fear of him abusing the child.

It certainly wouldn't bother me. If fathers can change nappies, so can grandfathers.