Gransnet forums


Looking after Grandchildren

(37 Posts)
Madgran77 Fri 01-Sep-17 07:18:37

Having seen a comment in another thread a out the inappropriateness of Grandfathers looking after young grandchildren I am wondering what others think? My own view is that if a grandparent is fit, healthy, able and willing then great ...whether grandma or grandad! I just cant see any differentiation in suitability between the two

kittylester Fri 01-Sep-17 07:24:53

I agree. DH often looks after our grandchildren and has since their birth.

I didn't see the original post.

nanaK54 Fri 01-Sep-17 07:33:31

Goodness - of course, it is a wonderful relationship - Granddad and Grandchildren......

I didn't see original post either, so no real idea what that was all about

cornergran Fri 01-Sep-17 07:35:04

Our children are happy for their father to care for their children on his own when necessary. He always has. I also didn't see the original,post.

Iam64 Fri 01-Sep-17 08:29:28

The relationship between grandfathers and grandchildren can be and usually is, a complete joy.
I did see the original comment and asked what the problem could be. It goes without saying that if a grandfather has behaved badly with his own children, as adults they'd want to protect their own children from a repeat of the behaviour.
I remember my relationship with my grandfathers with love and appreciation. I love watching my grandchildren sit on their grandfather's knee, reading stories or racing round the house being dinosaurs. What's not to like?

harrigran Fri 01-Sep-17 08:39:55

DH is more than capable of caring for the GC and has been hands on since they were born. He was so busy working when our DC were young that he missed out on a lot of the fun things.

Madgran77 Fri 01-Sep-17 08:41:18

Oh well I'm glad others agree. My husband cared for our first granddaughter one day a week from very young when I was still working and over it. Now we both do one day a wek together for our two grandaughters and its lovely!

Madgran77 Fri 01-Sep-17 08:43:53

...loved it!!

goldengirl Fri 01-Sep-17 12:52:14

I didn't see the original post on this but my DH is far better than I am at looking after the GC of all ages and they think he's just wonderful - though he ticks them off if they're naughty. I also see a grandad going past on school days with a tot on a tricycle or scooter and I think it's just great. Can't understand why a grandad shouldn't look after a grandchild - am I missing something?

Anya Fri 01-Sep-17 13:03:35

If you are (missing something?) goldengirl then I am too 🤔

polyester57 Fri 01-Sep-17 13:16:04

I rather fear that this is about the unsaid. Old men are, through various newspaper stories, seen as molesters.

NanaandGrampy Fri 01-Sep-17 13:19:44

Grampy has looked after all 4 of ours on his own and why not? He capably helped raise our 2 daughters.

Our Grandaughter is the apple of his eye and the boys look up to him. Grampys word is law . 😀

It's a sad,sad world where the innocent are automatically tarred with the same brush as the guilty minority.

M0nica Fri 01-Sep-17 14:16:58

Is it because someone is uncomfortable about a grandfather changing nappies, especially of a baby girl because of a fear of him abusing the child.

It certainly wouldn't bother me. If fathers can change nappies, so can grandfathers.

Nannarose Fri 01-Sep-17 15:50:43

I think that some, brought up in a culture / at a time where dads did very little, may feel that grandads don't have the same experience around very young children. Being sensitive to the fact that, depending on experience, they may not feel as automatically comfortable is sensible. Thinking it a reason to not allow care is not.

When I was 6, I was suddenly robbed of 2 wonderful grandmothers, one died, the other became very ill. How grateful I am for the love and care shown by my 'grampies'

M0nica Fri 01-Sep-17 16:44:11

Having a father who in 1950 had no problems whatsoever with feeding babies, changing nappies and pushing prams and with my best friend (met much later) having a father who was similarly skilled. I just take it for granted that grandfathers are as capable as grandmothers in caring for small children.

Coconut Sat 02-Sep-17 08:46:48

I think it's absolutely wonderful how both Dads and Grandads are so much more hands on and involved than ever before. It's no longer just a woman's job and that is progress !

Gagagran Sat 02-Sep-17 08:47:17

My DH has always been a brilliant Dad to our two children all their lives and an equally wonderful Grandad to our four DGC from birth. He has always given them time, attention and absolute love.

I think it's a win-win situation for us all. As our eldest DGD told me one day, "Everyone loves Grandad". That brought a hint of a tear to my eye - it was said so sincerely.

Lindajane Sat 02-Sep-17 09:04:41

I haven't seen the post either but I feel really affronted about this. My DH was very involved with our DDs and now with out DGDs. He'll do pretty much anything I'd do and is more fun I think as well. Grrrr.

adaunas Sat 02-Sep-17 09:25:32

Haven't seen the original post, but my DH was the one who gave up work to care for our grandson from 3 months old and our granddaughter from birth. Now we do it together before and after school, but he did the lot, feeding, changing, taking them for walks or shopping and really enjoyed it.
I understand concerns about abuse are quite high, but the abusers at nurseries weren't all men.

icanhandthemback Sat 02-Sep-17 09:27:03

One assumes that fathers are deemed suitable for looking after their children so surely Grandfathers should be equally capable. I have a friend who lost his wife in the most vicious of circumstances and after 40 years of marriage, he felt completely lost. A year later his daughter had another baby and he has become her childminder. What a difference this has made to our friend. He has been reinvigorated. As he says, he missed out on bringing up his own children because he had to work all the hours God gave him in order to make ends meet so he feels like he is getting a second chance.

mags1234 Sat 02-Sep-17 09:42:35

My husband is better with grandkids than me tho I love them to bits!

ginny Sat 02-Sep-17 10:03:32

We have had our 19 month old DGS staying for a few days. DH got him up this morning, changed him and had a good old rough and tumble play before giving him breakfast and then reading several story books.Lots of giggles and the best way to build a good and loving relationship.

SillyNanny321 Sat 02-Sep-17 10:12:22

During school hols my DiLs DD takes our DGS for days out which they both love. No problems as he is very capable, has a car so can take DGS to places he would not normally be able to go to.

Imperfect27 Sat 02-Sep-17 10:34:30

My father was a wonderful and much loved granddad. I think it fair to say, as a 'man of his time' he wasn't keen on nappy duty and I was always a little happier in my mind if my mum was around in case that was needed, but he would step up if he had to smile. He was simply great with my children and I am aware that he let his guard down and was much more demonstrative in his affection than he was to me as a child - I am glad to have seen this 'new' dimension in him.

GoldenAge Sat 02-Sep-17 12:34:54

I have not seen the original post but here are the facts - child sex abuse is committed mainly by male family members and the targets are young and teenage girls. However, child sex abuse is also committed by female family members targeting both male and females. Additionally, it is committed by non-family members. Consequently, it is a complete nonsense to make a blanket assertion that grandfathers per se should not be left to care for grandchildren - and if this is what the original post said then it is wrong. What all parents should do is assess the competence and suitability of all the grandparents involved to take care of the grandchildren for however long a period of time, bearing in mind that the majority of children benefit from time spent with their grandparents and vice versa. The voice of sensibility and reason must prevail. As a grandparent whose grandchildren adore both their grandfathers, I know that in the normal family all of us have a role to play. And in the family where there has been known sex abuse, it is up to all the other family members to protect vulnerable children from the offenders irrespective of whether they are grandparents, parents, siblings.