Anxiety re birth of third grandchild

My daughter has had 3 C sections, they are much less worry than long labours that end in emergency sections. I would opt for that choice if it were me.

My two sons were born over 50 years ago, 9lb 4oz and 10lb 4oz respectively. Although I am 5 feet 8inches tall and was around 11 stone at the time both births were long and traumatic. My first Labour was 36 hours and the midwife had to administer an episiotomy to stop me tearing. The second Labour was shorter but he was in a difficult position and had to be delivered in hospital by forceps while I was given general anaeasthetic. I also had a haemorrhage after the delivery and my son was kept in a cot for 48 hours, nobody was allowed to hold him and although my husband saw him from behind glass in his little cot I didn’t lay eyes on him until the 48 hours was up and the separation from my newborn son was horrendous. Both experiences were very negative, affected my physical and mental health and I felt I had let everybody down. If I had been able to have a Caesarean at either birth I would have jumped at the chance. To this day the memory of both births brings tears to my eyes and I wish things had been different.

Fellowfeeling8 Sorry to hear that what should be a happy time is being spoiled by anxiety for your daughter. I had my babies in the 70's, never had a C Section but I have had an induction, not a good experience. My son was 3 weeks late and the doctor felt that an induction would be the best thing to do. My son was born after 3 hours, in shock and taken to special care baby unit for a few hours to recover. I was torn and had to have many more stitches than if I would have with a C Section. If there is a chance of ending up with an unplanned induction I would opt for a planned C Section. Do let us know how things go. I feel sure that everything will be well (flowers)

I am sure your daughter and her partner will come to the right decision and you will support that with every finger and toe crossed.

My immediate reaction was have the C section but she might go into labour normally or be induced and have a normal birth which would be better for her. Having medical knowledge is helpful but don't we remember the awful cases rather than the good and you are also influenced by your other DD's 1st bad experience but the 2nd went well.

Sometimes this informed choice is very difficult.

Good luck

I had a long labour at 36 weeks with my first and then an emergency CS - and another emergency CS with my second at 36 weeks despite having an elective CS booked. Turned out I was a 36 weeker - they were both fully cooked and good weights. At the time it was a bit scary but we soon forgot about it all and got on with bringing them up. Good Luck

Another vote for planned caesarian. If I'd known then what I know now, I would have demanded it for both of mine. My body has never really recovered...

I had an elective C section at 37 weeks (T2 Diabetes and potential complications) as on discussion with gynae we decided it was the safest option for myself and my daughter. As a result I had a really positive birth experience. Your daughter must decide what feels right but I would recommend the elective C section.
Doesn't help with your stress so all I can say as long as you are there when your daughter wants support dont worry about anything else.
I was in a different continent from my family when I gave birth and I know my mum was beside herself!

My DiL had a difficult first delivery followed by a planned C section. She said she’d have had a c section first time if she’d known how much easier it would all be - including recovery. I often wonder if the difficult first labour contributed to her post natal depression.

My DIL had high blood pressure followed by eclampsia and an emergency section at 32 weeks. 2nd time around she was told she should have a planned section but even then some medical staff were wrongly suggesting she could have a normal delivery. She developed eclampsia again at 34 weeks, after many stays in hospital with high blood pressure. Hope that she goes for the elective cesarean - safer for them both.

I watched my daughter go through a very long and trying labour only to for her to have an emergency C-section, I would encourage your daughter to have the selective c section it will be lot easier on your nerves. Hope everything works out well for you all

Thank you all for your kind replies. A trouble shared feels like a trouble halved!

Vampirequeen, me too.

I had a very frightening emergency C section after a horrendous time trying to give birth to my 8lb son who actually got stuck in the canal and had to be pulled out backwards . He became distressed and they took a blood sample from his head whilst he was still in me to establish the oxygen level .
I had an MRI scan a year later which revealed that my pelvis was only capable of delivering a baby no larger than 6lb .
I went onto have my second son by elective C section and it was a wonderful experience .
I only wish that I had been warned in advance as your daugher has and was given the option to have the section.

There is such a thing as knowing too much! It can cause more anxiety.

I do hope that all goes well - and statistically all usually does.

The rule that rare things happen rarely is worth hanging on to.

I'd go for the planned c section.

I have 6 dgc and 4 were born by unplanned emergency C section after trying for a normal delivery.

If there is any doubt at all regarding a normal delivery I'd opt for a planned section.

Good luck.

She had a scan and appointment today when she had lots of questions. I think she feels that if there are no signs that the baby is ready to be born then the induction may be unsuccessful. She has had a conversation with her sister and her sister has been pointing out the positive side of having a caesarean, the decision has been put off until next Monday and I think she is hoping that she may go into labour during the coming week. As you say I think once the decision is made things will be easier. Thank you for your reply and sharing your experience.

I am not surprised that this is stressing you out FF 8 . What are your daughters feelings about what kind of birth she would prefer ? If it was my DD I would be advising her strongly to go for the section , for me it is just not worth taking the risk of going through labour then ending up with an emergency section anyway . I had one `normal` birth and had to have surgery 6 months later to put things right then 3 sections which were planned and easier to recover from . I think once your daughter has decided what she wants to do you will feel better able to support her in her decision .