Emotional new grandparent

Well when I said cut them some slack I really didn't mean give in to the nagging and do what you're told, of course. Remind the grandparents you're the parent and coping fine without their fuss but not actually condemn them for feeling anxious or hold it against them long term like some new parents do. It's a naturally anxious time for all, and I think nature made it that way to ensure that between the whole matriarchal chain the offspring would be attended to. Apparently cats are really like that - the grandma is usually ready to step in if an inexperienced feline mother gets a bit neglectful

Eglantine I couldn't agree more. We had our babies, give them a bit of space with theirs. I think if people are a bit less intense things work out.

I'll probably get shot down in flames here but I find all this 'I'm not getting my share of the baby." quite worrying.
A baby is not a commodity to be shared around.

As for parents cutting the fussing grandparents some slack, do the grandparents not realise how upsetting the constant do this, don't do that, is he alright, give me the baby can be?

I think some grandmothers need to calm down a bit. I have 5 GC, love them all, look after them lots but they have a mum and dad. It all sounds a bit hysterical to me.

Oh I thought I was the only one! When my first grandchild was born I kept waking in a panic all night thinking I hadn't heard him crying for a long time. Of course I hadn;t - he wasn't even in my house! But I was as tense as if it was my baby. Parents need to cut the grandparents some slack when they fuss over the baby's care - I think it's just some sort of weird nature hormonal thing.

Take things very slowly Emma14 your time will come girls always gravitate to their mums as I'm sure you did when you had your first child,2 weeks is not long for the new mum to get into a routine so just let it take its course,is your son off work on paternity leave if so let them bond and when he goes back to work offer any help she needs carefully and remember things said (specially to DILs) cannot be retracted if said in haste.
I will have this scenario in May when my 8th DGC will be born my DIL is very close to her mum and I will only get invited as and when she sees fit but I can live with that now.
Congratulations on being a nanna you will love it,I know I do.

Emma14 I can offer no solutions but do offer my sympathy.

Emma14 The baby is only two weeks old. let the new parents have time to get to know their child, and your time will come later. It may seem that your daughter in law's mother is spending more time with the baby, but she is probably there to help and support her own daughter who only gave birth two weeks ago. A new mother often needs her own mother at a time like this.

Many congratulations on becoming a grandparent.
You say that your daughter in law is not very nice to you, you could try smothering her with kindness and consideration, and then maybe she will be nicer.

I am sure that in time you will get to know your new grandchild and be a wonderful grandmother - just not quite yet.

I need some opinions on when to start seeing your first grandchild..it is due in june and coming from nz to europe is a long trip...
My daughter in law has her mother round the corner and i/we r more inclined to come over when the baby is older and we can spend time that counts with him. Any opinions?

Hello
I too am a new grandmother and have been crying on and off for 2 weeks with emotion!But also sadness as my DIL isn’t nice to me and hasn’t let me hold my new grandchild much at all. I feel very unwelcome when I visit and am so very afraid that this precious baby is not going to be in my life. This baby looks so much like my son and daughter - I am aching with love each time I see him. I get so jealous when I see pictures on social media with my DIL friends holding the baby or worse, my DIL mother. Can any of you wise people help me? I feel so miserable at a time when I should be full of joy. Thank you

Oh MeAnge know exactly how you feel. My DD had our first grandchild 6 weeks ago. It was a very traumatic labour and birth but oh boy when he arrived fell totally in love.

First grandchild on both sides (both grandmas equally besotted) first great grandchild.

I am er.. Quite hard nosed (allegedly) my colleagues have delighted in my delight. And oh the tears, especially the first week.

And just so you know, he is the most beautiful baby anyone has ever seen - and the cleverest .

Congratulations! Enjoy it all, and don't be surprised that your life has changed so much. Many of us are lucky enough to have had the same feelings, and being a grandparent gives you a whole new outlook on the future.

Congratulations on the new gs! Hopefully, you've calmed down by now and are just reaping the joys of being a new gm!

Hi MeAnge My first GD arrived on Wed after three days labour, much of it home with us over Christmas. I had expected to feel like you do but, strangely, feel v detached. Possibly having seen DD in labour for ages; baby so squashed and weird looking on arrival it was really quite distressing; DD and SIL so close and determined to do it all themselves that my dreams of being a hands-on Grandma Mentor as my mum was to me have been somewhat shattered; or maybe it's because they live two hours away, going home tmw, and l can't afford to be driving myself mad in permanent yearning mode. It will sort and in meantime am being cheerful and enthusiastic etc. So enjoy yr emotional state and be glad you aren't like those of us who expected to feel like you do but can't!!

Absolutely understand this...hubby n I still well up when talking about our granddaughter and she’s 9 now. The love is so very strong enjoy

Congratulations MeAnge - it's such a magical time. It's 20 years since my first granddaughter arrived and I was totally unprepared for the depth of love I felt when I first set eyes on her at 2 hours old. I think because I only had boys I didn't think the bond would be quite so strong for their children as it might have been for a daughter's. Enjoy your new baby grandson and watching him grow - what a wonderful Christmas you'll have

I've just become a gran for the 7th time and the feelings I have for this little person are very similar to how I felt with the others. I just marvel at this amazing creation and also felt emotional when I was given him to hold. I felt very proud so I can imagine how you must be feeling MeAnge

It is special isn’t it. The feeling you have for that little child of your child. And it can be sooo hard not to shout from the rooftops and bore the pants of everyone you meet! The feeling will dim a little as time passes and you will get used to it (and stop blubbing), but it never goes away.

What an unpleasant and totally unnecessary comment willsmadnan to make! I am not a child or baby lover unless they are mine, but the birth of my first grandson did just the same to me. My oldest one is now 12 and I see him often, and yet I am still consumed with awe every time I look at him! I think it’s maybe because, as first time mothers ourselves, the happiness is counteracted by anxiety that we are doing everything right, and the sheer responsibility of it all. We just have to remember in certain times tho that the parents are first in line, and we need to let them make their own decisions and sometimes mistakes. What you are feeling is wonderful! In times when there is little to be joyous about we should grab this feeling and hold on to it. So cry if you want to, and many congratulations. So much joy to come.

Congratulations! I had a friend who, because she did not have any grandchildren of her own, did not invite any discussion about other people's grandchildren. Then lo and behold one day she became a grandma, needless to say fb is now daily awash with photos and updates etc., of her grandchilds progress and has now become the only topic of conversation. Such is life.

Lovely news McAnge

Just think about the words of caution on this thread too. They are not written lightly.

But apart from that wonderful news ????

The saying that "you love your children but are in love with your grandchildren" I have found very true but I do understand others expressing caution.
Enjoy every moment-such fun ahead.
Congratualtions?

Such lovely news for you all - congratulations.

Just enjoy, with a tiny bit of your brain saying: calm down; don't want to overwhelm the new Mum and Dad!

I am sure there will be lots of fun for all of you in the weeks and months to come.

I'm the same as you Grandma70 took some time to warm to all three of my GSs but I'm completely besotted now!

MeAnge
I know exactly how you feel. I was living abroad when he was born and all my friends would say " oh this will change things"
My reply was " oh no it won't" But I fell in love with him.
I missed him so much we sold up and moved back to the uk.
I adore my granddaughter but the feeling I have for him is different.