Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

Emotional new grandparent

(39 Posts)
MeAnge Sat 09-Dec-17 16:41:01

I am a brand new first time Nana of just 4 days! My daughter just had a baby boy and I am feeling absolutely overwhelmed with emotion. I well up with tears at the mere thought of him and I am not sleeping as he’s on my mind all of the time. My husband is no better!!! I am totally gobsmacked at this reaction and wasn’t prepared for the total love I feel for my tiny little grandson. I wasn’t like this after the births of my own children!!! I’ve heard a grandparents love is very strong but no one told me I’d feel like this and be such a gibbering emotional wreck. Anyone else felt like this? I saw a neighbour and cried in Sainsbury’s the other day. I’ve got to go back to work on Monday and can’t trust myself not to blub smile

Bibbity Sat 09-Dec-17 16:45:27

Congratulations to you and your expandin family.

I'm not a Grandparent but I will never forget the rushing game overwhelming sense of love and happiness I felt at my mum holding my two children for the first time. It was completly unexpected and I was just so happy to see them both together.

Good luck on this new chapter of your life grin

willsmadnan Sat 09-Dec-17 16:53:21

In the nicest possible way I would say 'Calm down, take a deep breath and try to realise this is not an earth-shattering event.'
Yes, you are a grandmother, but keep that in mind. This little piece of humanity (adorable as he may be.... and they all are) is not your child. He is your daughter's and her partner's. They will want to spend the next few days with him. That is their time .......not yours!
In these early days a thousand relationships have been destroyed. You only have to read GNs relationship threads to see that.
Please, please control your emotions and I repeat.... 'Calm down'.

Sar53 Sat 09-Dec-17 17:16:02

MeAnge congratulations on the birth of your first grandchild. I have four young granddaughters and my fifth grandchild due in five weeks and I felt exactly the same as you each time. I too was overwhelmed with love for each one and I know that I will feel the same about the new one due soon.
Support your daughter and enjoy the new baby.

Nanabilly Sat 09-Dec-17 18:01:09

I was just the same when my first gs arrived .I could not sleep at night because all I could see was his face and I could not wait for a cuddle or an update from the happy New mummy and daddy. Luckily I have a fantastic relationship with my son and dil so they dealt with It very well.
It is just pure pride and love for the new little baby in your life making you like it as it was for me . It does stop . Honest . But that strong love will not lessen . I love being a nana and adore each and every minute I spend with my 2 littlies.

Can't really understand why one of the comments were made , thought it a little brutal to be honest but ignore it I'm sure it was said with the best intentions.

Kittye Sat 09-Dec-17 18:08:58

Congratulations ! Know exactly how you feel. I felt the same way about my grandchildren. It's absolutely wonderful, enjoy😊

MeAnge Sat 09-Dec-17 18:39:18

Thanks for the kind messages of reassurance that I’m probably normal feeling like this. I’m usually the most practical, level headed and pretty laid back person so my emotions have taken me by surprise, hence my message willsmadnan and I’m not about to ruin my fantastic relationship with my DD over this as she hasn’t got a clue how I’m feeling.

cornergran Sat 09-Dec-17 18:44:36

Congratulations meange. Yes, I was amazed at the rush of feeling the first time. Expected it by the time number three arrived. It is amazing. Wishing you all the happiest of futures.

Marydoll Sat 09-Dec-17 19:12:22

Congratulations, MeAnge!
I too couldn't believe how overwhelmed I felt. There is nothing wrong with how you are feeling.

Grandma70s Sat 09-Dec-17 19:16:22

It’s odd, but I was the opposite. I expected to feel the rush of emotion described, but I didn’t. I was pleased and relieved, of course, but not overwhelmed. I wonder if it makes a difference whether it’s your son’s or your daughter’s child. When I talked to my DIL’s mother, though, she said she reacted the same way as I did, and was equally surprised. We wondered if it was sort of shock.

I confess guiltily that I had hoped for a girl - but then when my dgd was born I still reacted the same way, not overly emotional, just pleased.

All that’s changed. I am totally besotted with the boy, now 8, and enjoying the girl, now 5.

Happychops Sat 09-Dec-17 19:29:39

Congratulations, I understand the feeling, it is so different from having your own. I adore being a grandma.You will settle down and stop blubbering. Enjoy every minute as they grow up so fast. smile.

POGS Sat 09-Dec-17 19:31:26

MeAnge

I totally understand where you are coming from hubby and I were the same when our granddaughter came along. That's your Christmas present done then!

It is one of the most momentous times in our lives and all I can say is continue to cherish the the joy that little bundle will give you.

I hope mum and baby are both doing well.

flowers. wine

NanKate Sat 09-Dec-17 19:34:29

Congratulations MeAnge flowers

I'm with you in being totally besotted with my two grandsons. Sadly I never got this feeling when my DS was born I just got postnatal depression. Happily we are now very close.

Enjoy every minute.

Auntieflo Sat 09-Dec-17 19:55:45

MeAnge, how lovely for you, and congratulations. When our grandchildren arrived, they came with lots of love, but when our first greatgrandchild was born earlier this year, I was besotted, and was so surprised at how strong my feelings were, and are for her and also our second one who arrived in the summer. Happy days.

petra Sat 09-Dec-17 21:00:24

MeAnge
I know exactly how you feel. I was living abroad when he was born and all my friends would say " oh this will change things"
My reply was " oh no it won't" But I fell in love with him.
I missed him so much we sold up and moved back to the uk.
I adore my granddaughter but the feeling I have for him is different.

Deedaa Sun 10-Dec-17 21:05:43

I'm the same as you Grandma70 took some time to warm to all three of my GSs but I'm completely besotted now!

Luckygirl Sun 10-Dec-17 22:28:19

Such lovely news for you all - congratulations.

Just enjoy, with a tiny bit of your brain saying: calm down; don't want to overwhelm the new Mum and Dad!

I am sure there will be lots of fun for all of you in the weeks and months to come.

Newquay Mon 11-Dec-17 05:37:12

The saying that "you love your children but are in love with your grandchildren" I have found very true but I do understand others expressing caution.
Enjoy every moment-such fun ahead.
Congratualtions💐

Friday Mon 11-Dec-17 06:40:01

Lovely news McAnge flowers

Just think about the words of caution on this thread too. They are not written lightly.

But apart from that wonderful news 😀😃😄🙃

Billybob4491 Mon 11-Dec-17 10:30:31

Congratulations! I had a friend who, because she did not have any grandchildren of her own, did not invite any discussion about other people's grandchildren. Then lo and behold one day she became a grandma, needless to say fb is now daily awash with photos and updates etc., of her grandchilds progress and has now become the only topic of conversation. Such is life.

thecatgrandma Mon 11-Dec-17 11:18:10

What an unpleasant and totally unnecessary comment willsmadnan to make! I am not a child or baby lover unless they are mine, but the birth of my first grandson did just the same to me. My oldest one is now 12 and I see him often, and yet I am still consumed with awe every time I look at him! I think it’s maybe because, as first time mothers ourselves, the happiness is counteracted by anxiety that we are doing everything right, and the sheer responsibility of it all. We just have to remember in certain times tho that the parents are first in line, and we need to let them make their own decisions and sometimes mistakes. What you are feeling is wonderful! In times when there is little to be joyous about we should grab this feeling and hold on to it. So cry if you want to, and many congratulations. So much joy to come.

NfkDumpling Mon 11-Dec-17 11:22:14

It is special isn’t it. The feeling you have for that little child of your child. And it can be sooo hard not to shout from the rooftops and bore the pants of everyone you meet! The feeling will dim a little as time passes and you will get used to it (and stop blubbing), but it never goes away.

goldengirl Mon 11-Dec-17 12:08:34

I've just become a gran for the 7th time and the feelings I have for this little person are very similar to how I felt with the others. I just marvel at this amazing creation and also felt emotional when I was given him to hold. I felt very proud so I can imagine how you must be feeling MeAnge
flowers

Willow500 Mon 11-Dec-17 13:24:05

Congratulations MeAnge - it's such a magical time. It's 20 years since my first granddaughter arrived and I was totally unprepared for the depth of love I felt when I first set eyes on her at 2 hours old. I think because I only had boys I didn't think the bond would be quite so strong for their children as it might have been for a daughter's. Enjoy your new baby grandson and watching him grow - what a wonderful Christmas you'll have flowers

nannypink1 Fri 29-Dec-17 18:27:37

Absolutely understand this...hubby n I still well up when talking about our granddaughter and she’s 9 now. The love is so very strong enjoy