First day at nursery

DS went to a French speaking kindergarten in Belgium at the age of three and never batted an eyelid. He loved it and seemed to understand everything that was said to him, as did the other English children who also went. When DD was taken to playschool at around the same age she was distraught and so was I. It was not just a case of “she’s ok when your back is turned”. She wasn’t, and eventually I took her out. She later went to school without any difficulty. Oddly enough, she had the same problem with her son, but whereas I pulled her, she did not with him and he settled down eventually but it seemed to take ages. But I used to take him when she was working and it broke my heart all over again to leave him there in distress. I would sit in the car with tears in my eyes.

Mine went to a childminder and were fine. G.D.1 goes to nursery 2 days and loves it. I was brought up in a very sheltered inward looking household and think it affected me. My older sis went to nursery and is much more outward going. The problem with not going to school until 7 is that some parents do not stimulate/talk to their children.

DGS goes to nursery one day a week and has since he was 10months old. He is looked after by various grandparents for 3 more days and mummy has him on the other day, having negotiated doing a full weeks work in four days. He is an articulate and outgoing 2year old and we all think it benefits him mixing with other children. As maw says, what else are working parents to do?

Morgana, how true. I feel that my DGS would have been far further ahead if he had been at nursery. His mother insisted on staying home with him for the first year of his life but didn't want to share him so he wasn't really socialised. As he was happy to sit in a high chair watching tv, she let him as she was suffering from PND and fatigue. Consequently, he could barely sit unsupported til he was a year old when I took over the childcare and all his milestones are way behind. It is noticeable that when he has spent any time at home with Mum he slips back a bit but makes great strides when at at Nursery.

I remember leaving my 3 year old on his first day at playschool in 19736,as if it was yesterday. I cried and cried...he didn't but he was very sad, so I was told. So I took him home and kept him there until a friend of mine introduced me to a new playschool...the best place ever.....I still cried, but he was happy..thank goodness!

I didn't cry when I left any of mine at nursery/playgroup/primary school. I went home and put the kettle on!

Nice when they came home though.

I thought it was awful when DGSs were put into nursery school for long days from a very early age but have to admit that they were very happy there and it's not done them any harm at all! They are cheerful confident boys with lots of friends.
I was extremely impressed by the nursery. Ferociously well organised and run by people who clearly loved the job. Can't ask more!

I went for a browse around the shops without interruption on the day my daughter started playschool.

I'm another one who wouldn't have considered sending my daughters to childcare. I stayed at home with them till they were 3 and started school nursery. We did go to a couple of local playgroups and it all worked out reasonably well.
Moving on 30 years and have you had a good look at the prices of properties. If our adult children wish to put a roof over our grandchildrens head they both have to go out to work and earn the money. As Maw said, what are they supposed to do with their children?
My daughter works part time. Her youngest (11 months) stays with me 2 days a week and attends the most amazing daycare setting one day. If they could afford it he would go each morning, it is so excellent.
Our oldest grandson also started started school nursery today, aged 3, after attending the same daycare. He is bright, happy and confident.
Maw, I hope your little one had the most wonderful first day

DD went to a playgroup when she was three, but when we moved to the country she had to stop going for a year before she started school. She went on to university and got a PhD so I don't think staying at home did her much harm.

I stayed at home with my 4 but when I needed a hysterectomy the eldest 2 were at school the 3rd was at the local council nursery school but the 4th was only at playgroup two mornings a week. The headmistress of the nursery kindly said the my youngest vould attend the nursery school with his brother while I was in hospital and away on convalescence. When I returned shesaid that my DS could continue there as a German lady had taken her child away as he was not being taught enough of the 3Rs. So not everyone wants their children not to start school at the age of 7. Just after that I was able to get a part time job to fit in with school hours. I do feel for many young people now who have to put their children with childminders or in nursery. Very often that takes most of their earnings but they need to keep working to keep their foot on the career ladder. Personally I preferred to stay at home and go without extras to be with mychildren as did my daughters. But everyone is different and it's their choice.

My d went to playschool at 4 then onto school at 4 3/4 . My son went to nursery at 4 and started school at 5. I could never had parted with them earlier.
Now both parents go to work children have breakfast club because parents start work early and after school club where children are picked up between 5 and 6 or even later.
Very sad.

Mine all went to Nursery, but I can't remember how old they were. I was working part time so it was mornings only.
One thing I do remember is the youngest was at a nursery where they had early lunch, and it was baked beans every day - or so she said when asked.
They all liked the socialising.

I went to nursery school in the mornings when I was 3 because I was lonely when my elder brother started school. I loved it. It was a proper school, not just childminding.

My children and grandchildren all started at about that age, too. I wouldn’t be happy sending a child too young to communicate to a nursery.

I didn't cry when they started. On the contrary. I thought “Woohoo! Three whole hours to myself!”

There is a big difference between going to nursery school for 3 hours a couple of times and going to a day nursery from 8 am until the evening every day.

Little Princess is only 2, isn't that a bit young to leave mummy? Is this a case of the middle one being a bit overlooked?

mine went to nursery ,they were very well socialised as they had been at work with me all their lives,my D was 8 days old when I went back ,but they were socialised with ADULTS and needed other children around .She loved nursery and school .My son wasn't so keen ,he cried and clung ,but settled when I left .I hung around outside for the 10 minutes it took to make sure they were telling me the truth.School was harder for him too and he had to be peeled off me .the brilliant head teacher saw how distressing it was for me as well as him and decided he would go in the front door to her office every morning.Where he could dust her phone and open her mail and then she would take him to class.Worked like a dream .He settled in in a couple of weeks though now an d again she'd ask for his "help" with her mail ,just so she could make sure he was OK .

Here in Denmark most children are in a crèche from the time their mother's year of maternity leave is up, some earlier than that, because most women work and those who are unemployed only receive benefits if their children are in a crèche, as otherwise the parent is deemed not to fulfill the condition of being able to accept a job on a day's notice!

Most children are quite all right as soon as Mummy or Daddy goes out the door of the crèche.

I'm not advocating the system, I think children should be in their homes until the age of three, but most European countries do start crèche and nursery school earlier than the UK

They do indeed grand tante and, the evidence suggests those countries have less anti social behaviour, drug addiction and early pregnancy. Our culture isn't the best imo.

Oh paddyann, I wish my son had had a headteacher like that. I was a full time mum and he was middle child, used to social gatherings, but took literally years to begin to like school even though big sister was there and enjoying every minute. Both his sons had a mix of adored childminder and family help from under a year old and love going to school, even the little one who wasn’t quite four and a half when he started full time last term.

My youngest grandson, who will tell you that he is ‘three and seven eighths’ and who has gone happily to childminders since he was a year old, is now at Nursery four full days a week and loves it. This morning he asked if it was Thursday and his face lit up when told it was a Nursery day.

Careful choosing of carers and settings is obviously very important and in our experience has resulted in confident and happy children. I can’t imagine why they would turn into maladjusted adults.

I agree it depends on the child. I didnt send mine to playschool (mornings only, 2or 3 times a week) till they were 3 - some loved it straightaway but one was very clingy at first and it was distressing to leave him.
Fast forward to GC and several have gone to all day nursery at a young age.
I was a bit concerned at first but it doesn't seem to have done them any harm. One or two of them didnt want to go on nursery days but several really love it. In fact the youngest couldnt wait to start at 2.5 yrs old and loved it from the start. Never glanced back at Mum - was in there playing like a shot.

Mine had a mixture of shared nannies, nurseries, blagging favours from neighbours. Anything I could do to make sure they were cared for as I HAD to work to pay bills. I always found it traumatic leaving them and would cry driving to work if they were distressed when I left them. Interestingly, youngest attended a playgroup on mornings I wasn’t working. He never cried when I left him there. Presumably picking up on my vibes. I knew I’d be back to pick him up in a couple of hours. So I was happy, which made him stress free.

MawBroon isn't your little grandson a bit young for nursery? Our youngest grandson is two in a few weeks time and he hasn't started nursery yet. My three all started playschool at three and a half and I thought that was too young. winterwhite I certainly didn't think Yippee when they went.

My consultant said hers all started nursery at 4 months; happy well-balanced children and the NHS didn't lose an excellent doctor.

paddyann I remember DD coming home from school when she was about 6 and telling me she had been naughty and had to go to the HT's office.
When I asked her if he had told her off, she said no, but she had to dust his desk and 'tidy it up' grin.
I doubt he could find anything afterwards.

maddy I’m not sure we are talking about the same thing. I never said nursery school (he is 20 months )