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First day at nursery

(51 Posts)
MawBroon Tue 09-Jan-18 08:52:03

No, not the one on the front page of the national press this morning but isn’t she a sweetie?
Rather less fuss made about our 20 month old littlest fella who spent two hours at his new nursery with his mummy yesterday, but will be trying it out for real today.
Thinking of my poor DD who will almost certainly suffer more than her little man shock
(Will Kate go home crying too?)

Teetime Tue 09-Jan-18 09:15:13

Its a very poignant time isn't it? You want them to develop well and have friends and learn to socialise but its a wrench to leave them there. I agree Charlotte is quite a poppet. I hope your GS enjoyed his day.

Nannylovesshopping Tue 09-Jan-18 09:26:42

It seems very young to me to start nursery, mine didn't go till they were three, it was called playschool then, I missed them dreadfully, but they were happy there but, also very happy to come rushing out at home time, happy dayssmile

radicalnan Tue 09-Jan-18 09:37:48

Our children are pushed out of the home far too soon. three is early enough for play school and I think 7 is better for primary school, why have kids if you want to get shot of them asap.

nannyof4 Tue 09-Jan-18 09:53:58

My point excatly,in our days it was playschool 2 mornings a week and that was it,i loved having my children at home and sit and play with them.
My youngest GS is just 3 and started pre school yesterday.
How times have changed eh

grandMattie Tue 09-Jan-18 09:58:47

I cried buckets for hours when I first sent DS1 to nursery. He was so unhappy to leave me. The little toad was perfectly happy once I wasn't visible.
Mothers are usually worst then, but later, the children are not always able to articulate unhappiness. What a shame.
And, yes, radical, I agree totally. The absolutel best person to look after your child is you [or partner] which is why I didn't work for about 16 years - we were fortunate to be able to manage on DH's salary.

Teddy123 Tue 09-Jan-18 10:02:44

Mums never stop worrying!
My GS & GD were packed off to nursery at 8 months due to work commitments. I thought EEK! I was wrong. My 5 year old GS had the best time as does my 18 month old GD. But you're right and I know that my DD still worries about her son and tends to over compensate in other ways. Shame cos he's absolutely fine ....

NannyBadcrumble1 Tue 09-Jan-18 10:06:18

I recall my DDs first day at school, she went skipping in quite happily. I went home and cried my eyes out. 9 years later it was my DS first day, he cried, when settled I went home skipping happily x

Deannarsidley1 Tue 09-Jan-18 10:33:34

My younger DGD will be starting nursery 2 mornings a week in April, she will be over 2, which is fine for her. DH and I have the care of her 5 days a week along with her big sister who started reception last term. All my 4 children started nursery around the same age as DGD, but I really have a bee in my bonnet about sending little people off to full time school when they've just turned 4. I'd like to know why we can't start children's formal education at a later age. A very good friend of mine lives in Germany and her boys didn't start their formal education until they were 7. They stayed in kindergarten and did a half day. One of the explanations for age 7 start was to get all the play out of them first, but they did learn the basics as they progressed through kindergarten. It sdeems that on the Continent children do start school at a more mature age, something I think we should adopt.

tanith Tue 09-Jan-18 10:43:46

It's a shame but a fact of life nowadays that a lot of families simply can't afford to stay home even though they dearly want to. I know some will say wait till you can afford to stay at home but for many that day may never come the way the cost of housing is. It can only be put off for so long.
I hope all the little ones settle down quickly.

nipsmum Tue 09-Jan-18 11:16:29

My oldest daughter loved play group and would have stayed all day. My younger daughter hated it and screamed for several weeks until it became too much for us all and it stopped. THe attending I mean.

cc Tue 09-Jan-18 11:30:19

I also was lucky enough not to have to work until my youngest child started primary school, taking almost 15 years out of work. All of them did go to part-time play groups and nurseries. However after the age of four my youngest went regularly to a child-minder outside school hours, and in the school holidays. The others had me full time until they were much older. Interesting that the youngest is actually the most happy and balanced of all my children, though she had the least of my time.

My daughter in law went back to work at the end of her maternity leave and my GC are also happy and balanced.

I don't believe that children suffer from being looked after by people outside the family, provided they are carefully chosen. Learning to mix and socialise with others is very important. How they develop depends not just on who looks after them but also their natural personality.

Although children in Sweden and other countries do not start "proper" school until they are seven, most are at full-time kindergarten or similar once their mothers return to work at the end of maternity leave.

Coco51 Tue 09-Jan-18 11:40:21

Agree Radicalnan. This precious time passes so quickly and I think there’ll be lots of parents who regret not spending more time with their children. I know that in many cases two wages are essential - that is the downside of telling mums they can ‘have it all’

GabriellaG Tue 09-Jan-18 11:42:48

My five went to infant school at 5 or the term after their 5th birthday and not before. They could read fluently, write neatly, say all tabkes uo to 12 times and do simple + - × and ÷
They also learned a bit of simple geography and plotted UK routes on an AA atlas (the sort from garages before Google)
I myself went to kindergarten 5 mornings a week, a 4 mile walk there and back again for my mum pushing younger brother in a large pram.
I never wanted my children to go to nursery and was fortunate that our finances enabled me to stay at home and enjoy them. None of my GCs or GGCs have been or go to nursery either.

glammanana Tue 09-Jan-18 11:48:43

My three all went to nursery/playgroup from when they where just under three and they loved going,it gave them more children to play with and brought them on leaps and bounds in socialising with others,I do think some little ones are more suited to staying at home until a wee bit older but it all depends on the child and financial circumstances nowadays.

Kim19 Tue 09-Jan-18 12:30:04

I still struggle with this practice of putting children in nursery at a very early age. However I fully realise that it is the modern way and I accept that. I've often wondered about the 'upset' state of the parents. They know they'll be seeing the child later. What does the child of minimum comprehension ability understand on 'the day'. Total abandonment, perhaps?

newnanny Tue 09-Jan-18 13:16:32

My DD stayed home from work with her ds for one year which was as long as she could before losing her job and as long as they could afford. She told me when she dropped him off he cried and she had to leave him and she cried all the way into her office. The nursery rang her 1/2 hour later and told her ds had stopped crying and was enjoying playing so she felt a bit better then but it took about 3 weeks of going every day before the crying when she left stopped.

MawBroon Tue 09-Jan-18 13:18:06

Right - in answer to all the judgemental comments about “too young go nursery” just where do you suggest my DGS goes while his mother is at work?
She has already patched together the best solution she can to cover her 4 days of work commitments, nursery for 2, (at home with mum for 1) , 1 day with DD’s Godmother/ aunt and one with Daddy who also spends that day with his own parents as his mother has Alzheimer’s and it gives his father a break.
So lay off working mums please who have career commitments .
DD started off with a daily nanny but felt DGS would benefit from the wider facilities of a nursery - outdoor play, different toys etc.
I honestly never thought I would have to defend her from such sanctimonious comments.

Iam64 Tue 09-Jan-18 13:29:09

Thanks for coming back Maw. I've just read many of the comments above with incredulity and a tad of irritation. Comments that suggest parents who go to work are selfish and shouldn't have had children are highly critical and inaccurate.
One of our grandchildren is on 4th day of hospital treatment. Both his parents are off work to be with their little one. We're all hoping they aren't sacked or disciplined. They have of course informed their respective employers and arranged to take unpaid leave. Many other Northern European / Scandi countries have much more family friendly employment cultures. Interestingly, they also have less crime and drug addiction.

nanahil Tue 09-Jan-18 13:39:18

It's tough, we encouraged our offspring to go to university and have careers. The price for the young mothers of today is that many of them are desperately trying to balance their career with motherhood. This may mean that grandparents are helping out with child care on non nursery days. My DD works part time we help when we can but without nursery she would be unable to work. All of her children have been to nursery and I think it has been very good for them. Would she have preferred to be a stay at home mum , possibly, but what a waste of her six years at uni, and I am sure she benefits from the mental stimulation of work and quite honestly she also needs the income.

rafichagran Tue 09-Jan-18 13:41:12

I hope it works for your daughter. Seems like a lovely arrangement. He is with his one or both of his parents for 4 days per week. Nursery to mix with other children two days a week, and a Aunt one day a week. Lucky boy.

Jalima1108 Tue 09-Jan-18 14:11:18

plotted UK routes on an AA atlas (the sort from garages before Google)
We still use those - satnav is so unreliable.
I like to see a map in front of me when navigating! and DH likes to plan his own routes.

Jalima1108 Tue 09-Jan-18 14:14:26

Mine all went to playgroup and nursery from 3 - I can't remember any of them crying.

henetha Tue 09-Jan-18 14:32:44

I never sent mine to nursery or kindergarden as I couldn't bear to part with them before I had to. In retrospect I think maybe I was wrong as it gives them a better start for when they have to go to school, probably. I was able to stay at home for a few years as I took in foreign students all through the summer months to make ends meet.

winterwhite Tue 09-Jan-18 15:27:45

Well I'm afraid I thought Yippee when each of my 3 started at nursery. They all seem well-balanced adults now.