Lost again

So very sorry to see you here again Nanban
I remember your poem well, your posts were the first I saw on coming to GN and they have lasted in my brain. I remember when you were reunited in France and you saying how your little GD ran up the beach to you and slipped her little hand in yours. ;-(

You support us back then Nanban and now maybe we can support you. God Bless xx

No problem Rosy. I remember the joy that we all had for Nanban, not to mention her personal happiness when it looked very much as if a reconciliation had taken place.

I seem to remember that having given so much support to other EP's and EGP's, having given us a place to share our pain, that she left GN for fear of compromising that long awaited reconciliation

We have kept in touch and I know how much she and her DH have suffered, when so much was promised and then taken away yet again.

It is truly heartbreaking they tried so hard and ultimately to no avail.

So so sorry for your pain.

Smileless was taken to task recently for saying that she personally would probably not feel able to have a relationship with her grandchildren now, were it offered, for fear of what has happened to you. That the pain of a second cutting off would be more than she could bear.

I hope you don't mind me mentioning it Smileless, but it's such an important observation.x.Rosy.

Nanban are you the lovely lady who started the 'Cut out of their lives' thread on the AIBU forum? If so, we are still going strong for all the wrong reasons of course because we remain CO.

We have an estrangement thread on the 'Relationships' forum.

What a sad situation for you - let us hope that, as last time, things eventually turn around.

. Grand parenting is such a minefield. It can be bad enough trying to raise children, but then when they’ve grown their children get thrown into the mix and things become even more precarious. Our DC say they get on because they only see each other two or three times a year. Perhaps they’re right.

First - I'm glad gs is well, Nanban! I still don't get what his illness or broken bones have to do with your story, but I'm glad he's ok. Obviously, someone is keeping you informed, so that's good, too, imo.

But as for the rest, my heart goes out to you! How painful to be co again! As a pp said, perhaps the parents will reach out again, eventually, as they did before, so there's hope there. But you probably won't trust it next time, particularly since your therapist is telling you that nothing will ever work in this case. So sad!

I guess the brothers had to split up because their relationship could never work out either? I'm so sorry about that, also.

Hopefully, when the kids are older, they can mend fences for themselves and get to have a relationship with you people.

I remember you Nanban, you were so happy to finally be able to see your GC again after being denied contact. I am sorry this situation has happened again.

You are, as always, a lovely lot. We grandparents hold our tongues, keep our pain locked in, living in hopes of better days if we don't rock the boat. Well, we performed every task, jumped through every hoop and none of it worked. We are dealing with a personality that demands total control and isolation for everyone surrounding and finally talked things through with a psychologist. The advice was that nothing we could do would ever placate or turn this around but would just stoke more anger. Our grandchildren love us and that was unacceptable and had to be stopped. Sounds extreme of course but it is also that simple. Our little grandson recovered from that, and a couple of broken bones after. The relationship between our two sons had to be broken, also that simple. We just have to hope that we will be found again. Thank you dear lot for stepping up again.

I’m so sorry for your pain nanban, keep posting if it helps.

Such a sad post Nanban I hope the situation changes for you soon .

Nanban I wish I had words to make you feel less sad, but I don’t. Unless perhaps to say things may improve, they did before so there's hope they might improve again (((hugs)))

I do hope your little grandson recovered from his illness?

I m sorry so few reactions to your post it sounds horrible to have the joy of thinking it’s all over and you are back to normal pulled away yet again and you must be devestated has this second destruction happened recently? You say your grandson became very very ill is he ok now or don’t you know? Were you blamed in some way for his illness as to why you were shut out for a second time, is the sons fall out the reason or the result ?
As starlady says it’s a bit sketchy and hard to help without a bit more info but then you aren’t asking for help just to be heard I m guessing
I think to be denied access to your grandkids is the cruelest of things to do unless there is a very valid reason (like harm involved)
I hope something will happen to resolved this very sad situation x

Nanban, I can see that you're hurting, and I'm so deeply sorry for your pain. I'm afraid Idk your story, however, so I'm a little confused. It sounds as if you and your dh (dear husband) were co (cut out) of your gc's lives for a long time and then joyously reunited. But then, after poor gs fell "terribly, horribly ill,' you were co again. Also, there seem to be 2 dss (dear sons) involved. But I'm not sure if they both cut you out or if you and dh got caught in the middle of a battle between your dss.

Iows, were you co the second time because ds and dil needed to focus on their own very sick child? Or because you got drawn into a fight between your 2 dss?

Either way, it's so sad. How long have you been co this time? Could it just be temporary till angry heads and hurt feelings cool down? Or does it seem worse this time than the last?