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Grandparenting

Are your grandchildren interested in you as a person?

(36 Posts)
LucyGransnet (GNHQ) Wed 17-Jan-18 09:18:48

We've been asked to comment on the above question and would be interested to hear your thoughts this morning. Do your grandchildren ask you questions about your life and achievements? Do they know what job you did/do? Do they talk to you about their own lives?

We'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks smile

Smithy Wed 17-Jan-18 09:39:26

My grand daughter us only little, so at that age too young, but my teenage grandson and I have lots of conversations. He knows about the jobs I did and places I worked, and shows interest in the days before mobiles and technology. He tells me I'm "quite a modern grandma". He tells me about his friends, his school work, his exams, his feelings about lots of things like family, the world , his fears and frustrations and often confides in me. If I haven't seen him he'll text to see how I am. I feel lucky to have him.

LyndaW Wed 17-Jan-18 09:43:58

Mine are still quite little but we do tell them little bits about our lives when appropriate. I think it's good for them to see you as a 'whole' person and they know their grandad used to be a policeman for instance. Not sure if they know I was an administrator - tricky to jazz that up as very interesting for little people! Maybe they'll be more interested when they get older. Maybe not. My DGD loves our wedding photos that are up and asks about those. To be honest, I'm more interested in their lives anyway so I'm not too bothered at the moment anyway.

bookish Wed 17-Jan-18 09:50:58

My gc have always been fascinated by my life (not that it is very fascinating but I suppose it feels impossibly long ago to them)

We have always enjoyed our "little chats" and as they have got older this has not changed and I hope it never does. I do think that sometimes they find it easier to share with grandparents rather than parents - that one step of removal can be quite helpful.

helhop Wed 17-Jan-18 09:53:59

I remember being endlessly fascinated by tales from my own grandmother who, by all accounts, was a bit of a rebel in the days when being a rebel was not the done thing

My own gc ask me lots of questions about myself in the course of conversation. I suppose it depends on what sort of relationship you have but I too value the time I spend chatting with them

Shinyredcar Wed 17-Jan-18 09:58:43

My 4 year-old GS is more philosophical. He asks me about my dreams and if I had scary dreams when I was little. He asks me about dying and whether I miss all the people who have gone from his (and my) life. He wants to know about books I liked and games I played as a child. We sing songs and nursery rhymes from my childhood which mostly make him fall about laughing, particularly any variations of a (slightly) more scurrilous variety. These questions are all related to his experience of life so far, which is fair enough. Maybe we shall move on to other things as he grows older.

paddyann Wed 17-Jan-18 10:17:19

our smallest age 6 had a project for school about "the olden days" we had a great laugh telling her silly stories before we told her the truth..the last thing we wanted was the teacher to believe was we told her the world was REALLY black and white .She still asks about stuff and loves to hear how we shared a phone with a neighbour or that there was only 3 channels on TV and that GF used to drive motorbikes up mountains for fun and run marathons.We've always talked to the older ones about ourselves as my Gran did with me and my sisters ..I only had one granny though and some of my GC have 2 and 2 GG and a stepgran

Greyduster Wed 17-Jan-18 10:24:04

My grandson was, for a time, very interested in DH’s life in the Army, especially when he discovered and got to wear the regimental hat! DH just told him that he only squirted his fountain pen at the enemy, so he lost interest after that! I do give forth snippets of information about my childhood, which he thinks must have been awful (mostly because Lego had not been invented then - what on earth did we DO??), with no bathroom, inside toilet or tv. We went to the mining museum once and they have a mock up of a miners terrace with a tin bath hanging on the wall outside the back door. Until then, he thought I was joking! His other grandad, now sadly deceased, was a very interesting and clever man, but I don’t know whether GS knows much about his life. If he doesn’t, he should.

Elrel Wed 17-Jan-18 11:07:43

Sometimes they're interested. I remember the amazement of one at 4 when she realised that I was a teacher!
The older ones can't necessarily appreciate that my experiences of relationships weren't so very different from theirs, lack of mobiles notwithstanding!

TerriBull Wed 17-Jan-18 11:36:31

No! because they are still quite young and I deeply regret that I wasn't interested in mine until it was too late and they weren't there anymore. However, when I embarked on Genealogy with the help of my mother who was still alive at the time, I managed to unearth so many fascinating facts about both sets of grandparents' lives. How shallow I was in my youth to think they hadn't done anything interesting. I'm lucky insomuch as I have a raft of information and photographs, via extended family. I even found one, of a set of paternal great grandparents in their youth looking all Latin and lovely, knowing that when my grandfather settled in Britain he never got the opportunity to see them again and my father and his siblings weren't able to meet them. I know that my maternal grandfather was in the navy and at some stage was involved in the evacuation of Armenians fleeing Turkish persecution. I know my paternal grandparents met in France just prior to the 1st World War, my great grandfather had a business there. Similarly my maternal grandfather's paternal family were French and I've only got sketchy information on them. I wish I had had conversations with all my grandparents about their lives, their grandparents and what they remembered about their growing up years.

I do perceive from my step granddaughters, now late teens early twenties that they could not perceive a life without mobile phones, one actually said once "but how did you manage" us "we just did, life was almost better without them" except in an emergency of course!

kittylester Wed 17-Jan-18 12:07:44

DD1 has ended up living in the city where I grew up so DGS1 (aged about 8 at the time) and I went to see the various places I lived and went to school and where my grandparents lived. He and his sister think it's really funny when I say things like 'This road didn't go here when I was young' or 'Where my granny and grandpa had a hotel is an underpass now!'

Where we live now is close to the train line that DH used to get to and from school and which is now a Heritage Trust line. All the grandchildren like seeing Pa's house from the train.

goldengirl Wed 17-Jan-18 12:32:09

Sometimes. Occasionally I like to relate an experience I've had with one that they're currently involved in - the similarities and the differences. Not sure though whether they take it on board or listen because they're polite!!

Nonnie Wed 17-Jan-18 13:29:14

No but we don't often see the older ones who are 5 & 7. I did tell the 7 year old that we used to have to get up and press buttons on the TV to change a channel and I am not sure he believed me!

GrandmaMoira Wed 17-Jan-18 13:40:16

My DGDs spend most weekends at my house and we do talk a lot, commenting on music and fashion for instance, as well as about school. They also remember visiting me at work (in the hospital where they were born) when they were small. They are aware of things from when I was young and when their Dad (my son) was young.

gillybob Wed 17-Jan-18 13:44:04

I consider myself to be very fortunate. Until recently we were a 5 generation family. My grandchildren were very fortunate to make regular visits to my own grandma and they were fascinated at how all the pieces fitted into the family jigsaw. The eldest 2 girls made a family tree from sheets of paper where they drew my grandma (they called her little tiny grandma) on one sheet of paper followed by my mum, then me, then daddy, then each of them. They love hearing stories about my memories of my grandparents and great grandparents, whom I can remember very well. They also love looking at old photographs (especially the ones from the war years and my grandad in uniform looking like a movie star) They tell me who looks like who and giggle at a particular favourite of my granddad wearing a dress when he was about 2 years old and my great grandma sitting in a beach deckchair in a place very familiar place to them wearing about 20 layers of clothes!

glammanana Wed 17-Jan-18 14:16:00

My eldest grandsons and two of their partners show a lot of interest in what I did before I retired and what I did when I first left school.
Two of them asked my advice about properties they where considering renting and took my thoughts on board and considered them.
Tand how we entertained ourselveshey both asked if I thought going to Uni was worth it or to get out in the world and learn that way again they considered all options and made the right choice in the end.
The two youngest are showing more interest in the way schools etc have changed since I went and how we entertained ourselves without the internet and social media.

Granny23 Wed 17-Jan-18 14:23:25

My 3 DGC are also fascinated by the old photos that we have and will spend hours going through them, spotting resemblances and admiring or laughing at the hairstyles and clothes. I am sure they have a genuine interest because they tell me all about their ancestors from their Dad's side of the family and other Granny is now fully conversant with our side's family history.

When they can tear themselves away from their Ipads we have long conversations about their friends and day to day happenings. I am bombard with questions that start with WHY? and in return am rewarded with what they have learned at school or online much of which is new to me.

gillybob Wed 17-Jan-18 14:44:58

My DGS the youngest and by far the most mischievous has just learned the "grandma?"....... "what?"....."stinks" routine.

He loves that I fall for it every time. wink

Greyduster Wed 17-Jan-18 15:44:07

kitty you have. Just reminded me that I have a book, which I loaned to my niece, all about the area I used to live in and its history. The whole lot was raised to the ground in the sixties and is now a lovely park, but when I showed some of the photographs to my then adult children they could scarcely believe what they were seeing when I pointed out where I was born and brought up. I will have to get it back and show it to GS. It may make him appreciate the comfort and relative affluence he takes for granted, but I doubt it.

Greyduster Wed 17-Jan-18 15:44:37

‘Razed’ not raised!

Cherrytree59 Wed 17-Jan-18 17:41:47

My grandchildren are all too young at the moment.

I am with some help compiling a family history with photographs.
I also whilst clearing the loft found a tape (now on CD) with my grandfather telling the story of Dangerous Dan McGrew.
At the time we would have just rolled our eyes.
Now it just makes me cry.
My DGC can hear the voice of their great great grandfather.smile

grannyactivist Wed 17-Jan-18 17:41:48

My eight year old grandson is very aware of me as a person outside my role as his granny; he has accompanied me on visits in my work as a Chaplain, has met many of the students I teach English to and is aware that I also work with homeless people. His interest is sparked by engaging with the people I work with and out of that come questions about my various roles.
My own children have always been aware of the jobs their grandparents do and as adults they have very close relationships with them. My father-in-law often discusses his mental health work with my children and they often attend my (musician) mother-in-law's concerts.

Coolgran65 Wed 17-Jan-18 18:31:51

I have 6 dgc and the eldest, and only girl, is 10 years. She loves to hear about our childhood, outside toilets, no lemonade in the house !! One packet of biscuits per week. Loves to talk about what a secretary did.... and what dgf did in the Royal Navy.

All of them are amazed that when I use the computer I can touch type....... Hey, quick, she's doing it again.... when I type text and look the other direction smile

maddyone Wed 17-Jan-18 18:54:57

My grandchildren are really too young to ask at the moment, although we do tell them about the jobs we did.

When I was a child, from 7 or 8 years old I loved listening to my own grandmother tell me stories of her childhood. She told me how her father was killed as he walked to work one morning, and how she found out; a little boy running up to her and saying 'Annie, your dada's dead,' and how she disappeared on the day of his funeral, and was found sitting on his grave, in the snow, crying, and without her coat on. The whole village was out looking for her.
She told me how her two younger brothers were killed in WW1 and how her own mother refused to go to Buckingham Palace to receive the Military Medal that was awarded to the younger one, saying 'If you can't give me my boy back, I don't want your medal!'
And she told me a lot more; I've never forgotten. I'm not sure I'll have such interesting stories to tell my own grandchildren, or such sad ones, or stories from which they can learn and gain so, so much.

BlueBelle Wed 17-Jan-18 21:33:20

Mine are all teenagers and no I don’t think they are very interested but mind you I ve just sat on the toilet seat talking to my 14 year old granddaughter while she washes her makeup brushes and get a lesson on what each is for while listening to rap music so the boot is definitely on the other foot and if i want a relationship I ve got to listen to them 😂😂