Apologies

Like -"It's your turn to do the washing-up - and no argument"

Assuming your assumptions were true, what makes you think I'd need 18+ years to adjust to change? So here we go with the aforementioned "karma" mentality. You're responsible for your own happinesses, why are you sounding so bitter? Bitter enough to wish the cycle of misfortune to another?

You see for 18+ years a parents world also revolves around giving their children "instructions" - of which they without a doubt, expect their child to adhere to, with no questions asked

Like -"It's your turn to do the washing-up - and no argument"

"Amateur Psychology for Beginners," don't think this would be an appropriate title.

Maybe: Perks of playing the victim and its associated double standards?

Chewbacca

Lol! . why haven't you asked for "credentials," in the mental health statement?
And another quick question, what "credentials," do you have, that would make you remotely eligible to verify anyone's credentials in the first place?.

"Amateur Psychology for Beginners" by LiveLaughLaove

Order your copy now.

"I started off being amused, like many, by the OPs verbose instructions.."

You hit the nail on the head. You see for 18+ years a parents world also revolves around giving their children "instructions" - of which they without a doubt, expect their child to adhere to, with no questions asked. Then all over sudden that changes - your child becomes an adult, they no longer have to heed to your "instructions," and ....you don't have 18+ years to adjust to these sudden changes. And with no one else to "instruct with no questions asked," you obviously get upset and frustrated when things dont go "your way." And since no one has ever questioned your, "authoritative rule," everything and anything despite its positive and caring origin, is ultimately over analysed by you - and if you don't like it, its perceived ads the ultimate form of disespect/insult. Whether or not your ready, change will happen, and time will not wait for you to find a comfortable adjusting zone. So instead of getting angry and wishing "karma" on your own kids whom you "claim" to still love - by saying at goes around comes around, like many on here say (and if you truly believe this, then maybe its come around to you too right?), why would you view my posts as "instructions?" Not unless your mindset is stuck on that? Can't one ever see anything positive as opposed to solely being bound to the negative?

Gobbledygook. Com

Aww Baby1, in all honesty I truly feel bad for you. You seem like a nice person, and I do hope that everything only works out for the best for you and your family. This was never about you, I genuinely thought I was helping before being rudely attacked, called a buly and forced to apologise - for stating my truth . hugs.

Madgran77

Mawbroon I know what you mean ...but not sure someone should get away with some statements without being asked to clarify or explain themselves!

....thought the previous consensus when I initially posted was "never admit, never explain." When did that change? Or is this another double standard?

Azie09

There we go again with the "mental health problems," claims lol. But with the double standards on here I don't see any asking for your credentials to make such claims. I love how people are quick to use mental instability in a fruitless attempt to invalidate another, while validating their actions. Again, another perk of playing the victim card.. But when grandparents talk of completely cutting off their own children as shown on another posts on here, "mental health," is never an issue huh! You shockingly see so many "supportive," posts. But ask yourself this - what do your words say about those with true mental health issues? For I'm sure you've read of that on here too. Im sure that you're all congnitive to the truth. Why would any AC want to be around another adult who insinuates that they are mentally unstable? If you're behaviour is too toxic and harmful for me to be around, I definitely wouldn't let any child I love or care for be around you either..

I started off being amused, like many, by the OPs verbose instructions but I think now that either it's deliberate baiting or possibly mental health problems. I agree it's best to stop responding now and especially if you've had problems with ACs, look after yourselves and don't feel the need to explain to a virtual stranger. [Flowers]

Please, please don’t feed this pointless discussion
Sorry [oops]

An apology is obviously not warranted in the case an AC under "control."

That statement has confused me
Could you explain please?

If you need accredited advice very kindly follow up with a licensed individual.
Are you following your own advice re this LLL?

Sorry Mawbroon just came here to see if there was anything new, and popped back on this post. It still mades no sense, and I am still struggling and didn’t want to start a new post

Mawbroon I know what you mean ...but not sure someone should get away with some statements without being asked to clarify or explain themselves!

Please, please don’t feed this pointless discussion

Baby1. 20 minutes away is no distance at all is it really. We lived just 15 doors away from our ES and only GC which is why we moved 18 months again.

"Beyond sad" and on their part beyond cruel.

Was supposed to say lost my father. And to those wondering about my son, I honestly believe he is afraid to speak up or she’ll take their son and move back in with her parents.

Surprised this post is still circulating. I commented on it at the beginning, but just reread her original post. She questions what went wrong and why aren’t we apologizing. I could be the one she’s talking about. I have tried with my future dil. I supported her/them. She has been a road block to my grandson since the day he was born. I have begged to be involved and she simply could care less. She only wants her family to have a relationship with him. She finally reached out after a year and a half and asked me to do something with them. She never followed through, said it slipped her mind. It was two days from the time she said she’d call to tell me what day worked better that week. It didn’t slip her mind. This is how she treats people. I am at the point of giving up. It’s not worth trying and being hurt over and over again. So to the OP no sorry from me would help. I simply wanted to be a grandma to my first grandchild. She wants to treat me as an out of town relative. This is where things go wrong. No apology can fix someone else’s selfishness. Sorry if I offended anyone. I am beyond sad. I justbmy father a month ago and would’ve loved a visit from my grandson who lives 20 minutes away, but after begging for weeks I realized it wouldn’t happen. I need to accept that this is who she is and nothing will change. Beyond sad.

Ourkidl LLL posted again after a loooooong gap! I felt the need to question the impression given! So not sure the discussion will continue really!

Oh My Days ... I've not been on Gransnet for a while (internet issues) and this is still under discussion!!!!!

Yes LLL it is obviously different. The problem is that even though you do Sa some cases, your responses to some CO Grandparents on here who claim that scenario seem to suggest that you assume that in their cases the control is "presumptive" not "actual"! This may be the case in terms of your assumption or it may be caused by your style of writing!

^kind disclaimer^? Is this your way of saying that you don't actually have any credibility or credentials for offering your unsolicited advice? That your 21 ways of "how not to apologise" were just thought up on a whim? Your right. Opinionated is the right word.

opinionated
I’ll say!

I think perhaps you meant “subjective”though
#unconscioushumour

Hello again LLL I would really like to know a little bit about your own circumstances, would you mind sharing something about the personal interest you have in this topic? Without context your posts have a somewhat 'hectoring' tone to them and it would be helpful to get to know you a little more than through this one single topic. Perhaps you would like to post on some of the other threads too?