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Grandparenting

Long distance Grandparenting

(34 Posts)
Willow500 Sat 10-Mar-18 07:42:51

My DIL was pregnant with their first child when they decided to emigrate to her native NZ nearly 5 years ago. It was extremely difficult for us to cope with - not only would we not see our grandson when he was born we would be saying goodbye to our dear son too. We kept it together for their sakes though apart from at the railway station when we dropped them off. Since then they've had a second son now aged 2 and have just been over here for 6 weeks holiday over Christmas. We have been there once when the second baby was 6 weeks old. You do cope. It's difficult especially if they're not terribly good at keeping in touch which ours aren't but FT and Skype are marvellous inventions and also messaging like WhatsApp. Congratulations on the impending arrival smile

Coolgran65 Sat 10-Mar-18 03:08:41

I have several dgc who live abroad. It's two years since we physically saw them. We face time about once a month specifically to see the dgc. Other times we email and talk in the phone with the parents.
I send little books from Poundland every couple of weeks to show the dgc we are thinking of them.

Making the best of it sad

Marmight Fri 09-Mar-18 23:42:44

Congratulations on your expected GC.
My first GS was born in Australia 14 years ago. We went out for the birth and again 6 months later. Since then there are 3 more GC. I visit every year for 2 months and become a temporary part of the family and daily routine. As they grow older we FaceTime less and less. Obviously I chat to my DD frequently and get all the news but the children are always rushing about and I just get a quick wave and a 'Hi Granny Marmight' . All my dreamy expectations of reading them stories over the airwaves came to nought grin. As you say SixtyL it's sadly a case of sucking it up. It is what it is, no getting away from it, but with annual visits you kind of fall into a way of life. Sil is an Aussie and there's no chance they'll ever return to the UK but they have a wonderful life and I am happy for them

SueDonim Fri 09-Mar-18 21:41:48

My oldest two GC live in the US so we usually only see them once a year, either there or here. We Face Time with them and I feel we have a good relationship with them despite the distance. My 4yo GD's beloved soft toy disintegrated recently and she wanted me to catch a plane and go there to sew it back together again!

Two other GC live over 500 miles from us so we see them 3/4 times a year and they know who we are, in fact are thrilled to bits when we see them.

storynanny Fri 09-Mar-18 21:04:13

You just have to learn to live with it I’m afraid. I have 2 in USA and a new baby in Singapore who I won’t see until June. FaceTime is ok it sometimes makes me sadder.
I’m much closer to my stepgranchildren who I see several times a week as they live around the corner and we take them out a lot, collect from nursery etc.
If I thought about it all the time I would weep.
Sorry if that all sounds negative, sometimes I feel worse than other times. The approaching Mothering Sunday probably has something to do with it!

grannyactivist Fri 09-Mar-18 19:32:56

My daughter is in New Zealand and was on a visit home to the UK when she discovered her pregnancy; we agreed that I would fly out in June when the baby was due and I booked my flight accordingly. At twenty six weeks my very premature granddaughter was born and was not expected to live; it was agony receiving daily reports and being asked to stick to my original timetable of only flying out in June, but I did. I went out to stay for a month and completely fell in love with this scrap of humanity who had fought so hard to live and to thrive. I flew out again, with my husband this time, when she celebrated her second birthday and since then we regularly FaceTime. We have all adapted to our long-distance relationship and I feel that we are very much a part of her life.
I do hope (and expect) that your feelings of detachment will dissipate once your grandchild is actually born and you will find a way of making the relationship the best it can be. smile

Bbnan Fri 09-Mar-18 17:42:36

I have been a long distance grandparent for the past 3 years and it is never easy ..I get to see my granddaughter at least every 6 months as we exchange visits they face time a lot and she knows exactly who we are ...her baby brother arrived 5 months ago and we spent a month in Canadwith them. His arrival changed everything and after 7 years they have decided to come home ...so they do come back..to say I am over the moon is an understatement....his brothers partner is having a baby next month so they will be arriving then.As it stands I have no grandchildren living here at present and within a week I will have three..very happy days ahead.!!!!!!!

tanith Fri 09-Mar-18 17:30:41

I've learned to live with a similar situation with grandchildren who aren't nearly so far. Will be meeting my latest granddaughter at her Batism she'll be 6mths. I'm sad about it a lot of the time but I don't have any tips to make it easier I'm afraid.

Sixtylooming Fri 09-Mar-18 17:13:39

Our DD has just announced she is pregnant with their first child and our first Grandchild. We are of course thrilled for them, but they live in Australia. I am struggling that I feel very detached from the whole situation. We were out there a short while ago, and now won't be going again until after the baby is here. I won't see her pregnant or be around until after the baby is born. We will go out for a holiday after that, but essentially are going to see this child and any others once a year for a few weeks. I know we have `Facetime but it just isn't the same. I feel so very tearful about missing this, but my husband doesn't understand. Has anyone else felt like this? I know I just have to "suck it up" and get on with it, as they won't come back, and get used to a long distance form of being a Grandparent and be less involved in the day to day care. Any tips on how to cope with this?