Fair shares

I feel guilty what ever I do,but I think it’s more to do with me than my children. As I’ve got older I realise I’ve spent a good deal of time saying ‘sorry’ blaming myself. For example If I’m driving and I hear somone beeping their horn I automatically think I’ve done somthing wrong. It’s only when a passenger says that wasn’t meant for you it was somone on the next road. Since my DiL diagnosis I’ve prioritise that family over everything and everyone else. My MiL was ill and died during this period of time. We were very close and I didn’t visit or support her as much as I’d have liked. My other two children and their families have been a bit neglected too. I feel really guilty but somtimes we have no option and have to prioritise those most in need. There’s only one of us and physically, emotionally and financially we can only be stretched so far. I think Maw like a lot of our generation we’re givers and programmerd to feel guilty.

I think useless guilt is a waste of time and effort. I only have one set of DGC, but I also had a daughter who is single and childless. DC know we love them and will give them help whenever it is needed and do not have favourites,

When DD had a bad accident just as we were going to spend a week providing holiday cover for DGC, DD got priority, and we rushed to her bedside and DS and wife had to reorganise their holiday cover. They completely understood. Life is full such decisions in all kinds of circumstances. Make them and move on.

Guilt in those circumstances, is just vanity.

And me, Maw.

We just say yes to everyone if we possibly can.

Since DD1 had her first (now aged 11) I have had him, and then his sister) once a week during term time - now only after school. They only live 15 miles away so it's not difficult.

DD2 lives in Herts and has 2 daughters - they come to stay most holidays!

Dd3 has 2 and is expecting no 3. Following her seperation from The Idiot, we have had hers a lot and often overnight.

DS2 is the only one of our sons to have children. They are his partner's children and have a much closer relationship with her parents.

I also often feel that we are being 'unfair' but we tell them that 'if we can, we will',

One thing that both dh and I work hard at doing is having time alone with our daughters.

I've said before that my gp (general practitioner!!) once told me that a mother's place is in the wrong - it seems a Ma's place is too.