Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

Toilet training at night

(55 Posts)
supernanauna1 Tue 22-May-18 11:59:41

My son lives with me along with his four and a half year old daughter. I care for her while he's at work. She is toilet trained during the day but has to wear pull-up pants in bed and most mornings it is soaking wet - she's dry one or two mornings a week.

We restrict her drinking after 6 pm so I can't understand why she's not dry at night. It's a long time since my children were small so I can't remember if I ever had this problem with them.

Has anybody got a magic answer please?

cc Wed 23-May-18 11:31:55

My son wet his bed until he was about 8 - he was very embarrassed about it and never went on sleepovers. Eventually we went to the GP who gave him medication which definitely helped, he was quickly dry. Sorry, don't remember what it was.
I think it happened because he was very energetic, burned a lot of energy during the day and slept very deeply. It was actually very difficult to wake him and it seemed pointless to lift him late at night to encourage him to wee when he was really still asleep.
Not an unusual problem, children are all different though, so really the waterproof sheet solution seems the best to me as your GDIS still young.

felice Wed 23-May-18 11:57:52

DGS 6, is dry at night upstairs in his own bedroom, but wears pull ups here at night. Both bedrooms have ensuites so easy to go to.
We think it is because he sleeps really soundly down here and there is occasional noise in his own room, there is an Hotel across the road and it is used a lot by flight attendants so they come and go at all hours. We haven't made a fuss about it and I have noticed he sometimes jumps out of bed here early in the morning to go.
I am sure he will be dry here soon.

Jan51 Wed 23-May-18 12:20:31

At 4 I wouldn't worry. My grandson is 10 and still has the occasional wet night but as my DD doesn't fuss about neither does he. The doctors weren't interested until he was 7 and then just checked for a urinary infection and suggested she could buy an alarm that attached to his pants. Sometimes it worked other times my daughter would wake but he wouldn't . Both my DDs were still wetting the bed at 7 and in those days were given alarms by the NHS. For one it worked immediately as she hated the noise so never wet the bed again but the other one didn't bother about it and grew out of it by about 10.

moggie57 Wed 23-May-18 12:31:35

theres a device from the doctor that wakes the child when urine touches the under sheet. the alarm wakes the child(hopefully) that encourages them to use a potty or the toilet.my gd wears pull ups and she's 4 and 3 months. but she's getting there.she's a little late but has had a bereavment in her family(her daddy) so maybe the upset has delayed her being dry at night. but she is still young.dry nights will come ..

Craftycat Wed 23-May-18 12:35:33

My 4 year old son started wetting the bed when we moved having been dry for a good 2 years.
I tried everything- pad with alarm- lifting him- you name it.
Then GP gave him some medicine & he never wet the bed again-I have no idea what it was called now but it worked a treat.
It may be worth while having a chat with GP - this was back in 80's so it could be it is now out of favour but it certainly worked.

icanhandthemback Wed 23-May-18 13:19:43

We bought an alarm from the internet because my son wanted to go on sleepovers and it really bothered him. We only had to use it for a couple of weeks and he was cured unless he was over tired when on holiday if he drank fizzy drinks. That situation was easily resolved.

Marianne1953 Wed 23-May-18 14:30:54

Take the pants off, she’ll soon learn, however, some children do take longer in holding it in. I think it may down to immature muscles in that area.

Gma29 Wed 23-May-18 15:54:30

I think the medication is often a nasal spray, Desmopressin.

BlueBelle Wed 23-May-18 16:40:35

I had two grandkids ( not sisters ) who were still wetting occasionally until nearly 11 then it just stopped and never happened since both were very heavy sleepers and the urge just didn’t wake them One couldn’t care less the other was very embbarressed and would never go on sleep overs although there was never any fuss made about it
All kids are different I would nt worry at all it ll sort itself when it sorts itself

supernanauna1 Wed 23-May-18 18:21:11

My daughter was still wetting every night up to age twelve. The doctor gave her a nasal spray and it worked like a miracle.

My GDs mother has various mental health problems but the little one sees her every weekend and in fact has told us that she prefers living with dad.

I think you've all been right - I'll just have wait till the day comes when it 'clicks'. My son is more concerned about it than I am, tbh.

Thanks for all your help.

GabriellaG Wed 23-May-18 18:28:41

Goodness! I would expect a child of four and a half to be completely toilet trained, not wearing nappies at night.
Does she have any worries about mummy or daddy? Is there adequate lighting for her to see her way to the bathroom if she feels the need to go.
It might be an idea to take her to the toilet when you go to bed. Don't wake her up completely, carry her to the loo then back into bed without much conversation. You could try putting a potty, one with a broad un-tippable base in her room away from the bed (so she doesn't step in it) and leave a nightlight on in tbe room.
Suggest a star chart for every night she is dry and a treat when she manages 5 days or a week.

Samie Wed 23-May-18 19:15:55

Just leave the pants off and see what happens - she could be of the opinion, they are there I might as well use them - that's what I found

Minerva Wed 23-May-18 20:40:15

I would echo what Samie said. I read a comment on MN on a thread about should children wear pants/knickers under their pyjamas. They seemed to be about 50:50 to my surprise as I never expected my children to, but someone pointed out that potty training is easier if the child is aware that they are just in pyjamas as the pants make them feel they are still wearing a nappy. I had persuaded DD to stop her 4 year old wearing pull-ups as I couldn’t see how he would ever learn not to wee at will during the night. He then wet the bed fairly regularly until I realised that she had him in pants under pyjamas. I told her what I had read, she stopped putting pants on him at night and he has been dry nearly every night since.

quizqueen Wed 23-May-18 23:28:20

My granddaughter is only just dry aged 6 so don't despair. The NHS therapist she saw said - no orange/blackcurrant squash ( very important), just water to drink especially later in the day. Take off the pull ups as well or there will be no progress. You can get special waterproof covers for the bed and just persevere and have a chart to achieve a reward for a number of consecutive dry nights.

charjoy Thu 24-May-18 10:35:32

Many moons ago, I mentioned to the doctor that my 4 year old son was still wetting at night. He gave me a gadget which was an alarm and a gauze type small sheet that is put under the bottom sheet. I put him to bed with no pyjama bottoms on and as soon as he started to wet the alarm went off. This woke him up and stopped him weeing. I took him to the toilet, then back to bed. Two nights - then all was solved - no more wet beds.

Thingmajig Thu 24-May-18 10:59:07

Our granddaughter is 4 too and is only just dry at night. It didn't matter what we said she was determined to keep her nappy pants. She suddenly decided she wanted to get rid of it a few weeks ago and amazingly has been dry since.
Don't put any pressure on her and it'll happen soon enough.
They do seem to toilet train later these days, though I've no idea why that should be! confused

Franbern Mon 04-Jun-18 10:06:46

Like all milestones for children, each one reaches theirs in and at their own time. Why does it matter if a young child is not dry at night. probably sleeps very deeply. As others have said, PLEASE.......do not restrict intake of fluids, therein can lie medical problems (kidneys, UTI's) etc. Let her reach night time dryness in her own time, and just be grateful that these days it is so very easy to wash and dry bedding, etc.

BlueBelle Mon 04-Jun-18 10:39:34

I do echo Fran leave the pants off don’t restrict drinks and also be totally calm and make it no big deal It’s no big deal she ll get to it when she gets to it

Greciangirl Thu 12-Jul-18 17:23:47

What about toilet training during the day.

My nearly 3 year old dgs is wearing pants, but whenever I look after him he always does a number 2. He manages a wee in potty but not the other, I dread looking after him at the moment. I keep,asking him if he wants to go and he no. Then he does it and gets upset. Poor thing. Just have to be patient I guess. Any advice please.

Melanieeastanglia Thu 12-Jul-18 17:36:51

Possibly your granddaughter thinks the pull-up is a nappy. I know nobody likes washing sheets but could you try one or two nights without the pull-up pants, possibly even leave a pot in her room if you don't want her wandering about at night (depends on geography of your home) and see what happens?

You could explain in advance why she isn't wearing pull-up pants.

I was lucky. My children didn't have this problem although they needed to be prompted during the day.

I hope things go well for everybody's sake!

NannyJan2 Tue 24-Jul-18 14:58:28

My GS is 5 and still wears training pants and night, but he still has occasional daytime wetting accidents too hmm

Momof3 Wed 25-Jul-18 20:23:22

It’s completely normal for night time training to take longer in fact you won’t get a referral to an enuresis (night time wetting) until after the age of 7.

My son was dry at night just before his 5th birthday, my daughter just after her 3rd birthday but it’s been my daughter who has the occasional nighttime accidents.

It’s mainly because it’s not something that is talked about in these days of super children who’s going to admit their 5 year old wets the bed

Momof3 Wed 25-Jul-18 20:28:49

It’s because it’s scary to him, he’s 3 years old, can feel something coming out of his body and falling almost like a lack of control.

I used to read books to my daughter (who’s a mini control freak) until the deed was done, sing songs with actions, blow bubbles.

Momof3 Wed 25-Jul-18 20:31:33

A star chart for a child who’s not waking up to pee and therefore not in control yet

Franbern Fri 27-Jul-18 20:06:49

When I had foster children bed-wetting was a very common problem. We were all very calm about it, and if a child did wet their bed, all that I asked (if they were old enough), is that they stripped the bottom sheet off the bed in the morning. Always kept mattress protectors on children's beds.
So, a quite funny story. One of my long term foster children was occasionally bed wetting when he was 8 years old, so when he came into my 15-year old daughters bedroom in the early hours one morning saying his bed was wet, she just told him to change his pyjamas and get into bed with her - which he did.
It was only when I got up in the morning that I discovered that the water tank in the loft above his bedroom had overflowed (considerably), he was right about his bed being wet!!! after he left it, the ceiling was brought down also, and the water continued its merry way down through the house into the kitchen under his bedroom. Large amount of damage, very large insurance claim.
Seriously thought, nightime bed wetting is really nothing to worry about, it is rare that it is nor sorted out completely by secondary school age. Just do not make any child feel worried or self-conscience in any way about this.