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Grandparenting

Feel in Bereft

(22 Posts)
Sebstar Mon 18-Jun-18 13:51:36

My granddaughter moved in with me nearly 8 years ago having not got on with her mother (my former daughter in law). It's been a joy to have her. Now she's moved in with her boyfriend and though I always knew this day would come I feel so sad. It's an end of an era but I know she has to move on.

Luckygirl Mon 18-Jun-18 13:57:11

Getting older means negotiating lots of ends of eras - congratulate yourself on a job well done by stepping into the breach.

lemongrove Mon 18-Jun-18 14:52:58

Yes, you will miss her, but children grow up and fly the nest.
Am sure she will be back to visit many times, and well done for your kindness in taking care of her.smile

nanaK54 Mon 18-Jun-18 15:11:34

Sebstar flowers here's hoping you get lots of lovely visits

Squiffy Mon 18-Jun-18 16:01:46

Sebstar You must have done a very good job of looking after her. You have helped her to feel secure enough to fly the nest, a big step for both of you smile

Is she still close by? I'm sure there will be catch-up visits and chats over cups of tea! If she's too far away, there's always facetime etc. Not quite the same, but at least you can keep in touch.

paddyann Mon 18-Jun-18 16:41:22

boyfriiends come and go and children boomerang back ..at least mine did .She'll always need your support in her life so try to be happy for her and wish her well

Sebstar Mon 18-Jun-18 17:12:06

Thank you for the kind replies. She hasn't gone too far so hope to see her fairly regularly.

BlueBelle Mon 18-Jun-18 17:27:41

Bless you yes it’s the inevitable isn’t it I watch my grandkids getting older and moving on and I realise it ll be very soon that they ve all flown off
💐 for you Sebstar

cornergran Mon 18-Jun-18 17:33:52

Look forward to seeing her be independent and you never know an invitation for a cuppa or a meal. You’ve done a good job. On to the next stage of your life now.

luluaugust Mon 18-Jun-18 20:55:13

Phew job well done, good luck flowers

morethan2 Tue 19-Jun-18 08:56:32

Oh I recognise that feeling well Sebstar that hollow in the pit of your soul. You know it’s inevitable and that it’s for the best. That feeling of being proud and sad at the same time. It’s the price of our love for them and we’d do it again in a flash and we do, first our children, then grandchildren. It gets easier, but I suspect you already know that. Thanks for sharing. It helps to know that others share the same feelings. Here’s a ((((hug)))

micmc47 Tue 19-Jun-18 09:51:52

Congratulate yourself on having provided her with a stable and loving home for all those years. We experience many "end of an eras" as we grow older, but they very often mark the beginning of another one. I'm sure your Grandaughter will respond to your kindness by continuing to give you a prominent place in her ongoing life.

Rowantree Tue 19-Jun-18 09:53:18

Sebstar all I can do is echo the wise words spoken here and offer a gentle hug across the ether. In many different ways, most of us have Been There, whether with children or grandchildren. It's bereavement of a kind: a loss, and it hurts. Expect it to hurt. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Cry when you want to; indulge yourself with little treats as comfort and don't expect to feel better anytime soon. That will take time and it's bittersweet. You WILL get there, though; you'll learn to deal with the loss - yes, you will. You've done a magnificent job and shared a loving relationship with her. No mean feat. Much love and strength to you for the next stage in your journey. flowers

Coconut Tue 19-Jun-18 10:00:14

It’s a parent and grandparents job to teach our children independence ... the hard part is accepting our success 💐 the special bond that you have built with her, will always be there 💐

Emm14 Tue 19-Jun-18 10:17:12

I can so empathise - my daughter has just left home and I feel so lost and lonely.

maryhoffman37 Tue 19-Jun-18 10:33:44

Let's face it - you are having Empty Nest Syndrome for the second time. You will adjust but give yourself time to grieve. And then hang on to eight years of good memories.

Nanny41 Tue 19-Jun-18 11:46:23

You have done a wonderful job and your Granddaughter will always remember that, she will look forward to visiting you, as you looking forward to her visits, they will be special.Be a proud Grandmother!

luzdoh Tue 19-Jun-18 11:59:11

Sebstar flowers Bless you! Of course you feel bereft! All the common-sense knowledge that she has grown up now won't stop you missing her! However do remember to feel really happy that you gave her such a secure and loving home that she now has the confidence to go out into the world and create her own home.
Remember you have not lost her. She will always be your special Grand daughter and she will come and see you.
Meanwhile, give yourself as many treats as you can. Go out for coffee, visit places, see friends. Try and fill your life with things you enjoy.
Lots of love L cafe cupcake

GoldenAge Tue 19-Jun-18 12:04:28

Sebstar - you can't feel anything else but bereft, but please take some comfort from a job well done and from knowing that your GD must love you beyond words. You will never 'lose' her. Now you have to focus on what many of us who are older and find we are encountering such changes, find helpful and that is some kind of new activity in our lives - think about voluntary work because the cause of the 'needy' never go away, they may change but you always have a value to the organisation.

luzdoh Tue 19-Jun-18 12:05:10

Emm14 flowers poor Emm! It's a hard time! Try to fill your days with things you enjoy, as I said to Sebstar, reward yourself for doing that wonderful job, the most important in the world. Go out for coffee, see friends, visit places, treat yourself. help the time to pass.
Your daughter will visit you. You have made her the confident young woman she is today. Well done!
much love L cafe cupcake

luzdoh Tue 19-Jun-18 12:10:28

GoldenAge How wonderfully you speak! You epitomise the kindness and wisdom of Gransnet! I do so love to read the kind words of such caring people as you. I am disabled, living alone and can't get out but generally i'm not unhappy. But when I read how many people care about each other - and about people we do not meet but just hear from on this page - it makes me feel very moved and I never feel lonely.
Granset is a wonderful group of people and you demonstrate this. Thank you.

MagicWriter2016 Wed 20-Jun-18 20:27:14

Am sure she will still visit you and you might even get an invite to theirs for a meal sometime. It's never easy when they move out, but at least it's on good terms.