Kumon ruining our holiday

Is the child going for 11+ in September?

Grannypauline.....

I feel sorry for all of you.
You've been handed a poison chalice, but I cant see you ducking out of it, as you point out there will be adverse consequences.

Can the Kumon exercises be broken down into say 10 min slots?
Then could each 10 mins be completed whilst in the car, on the beach, in the café etc.?

I was lead to believe Kumon should be short goal orientated exercises? One hour seems too soul sappingly boring to be helpful...especially on holiday!!

Are the parents particularly anxious about her academic progress to insist on this?

Or perhaps you could:

a) do the work yourself!!

b) 'accidentally' pour wine on it!

c) bribe the girl with goodies!!

BTW Grannypauline,

I'm not even allowed to take my gc's for a 2min walk, so the thought of taking them on holiday seems marvellous to me!!

we don't know why the parents prioritised this, might be the child is upset about noticing that she's behind her peers. Might be that she has a flair for ANOTHER subject but these days you cannot progress academically at anything without good grades in English & maths so... who knows...

But there are things you can do to make it less miserable:

Agree the schedule WITH the child:

Does she want to get it over with after breakfast? or does she prefer to do it in the afternoon? let her chose her study time table.

Time limit it so it doesn't create a dragged out battle. 30 mins at a time. If it doesn't get finished it'll be revisited later (or in the morning if she prefers pm working), but once the timer goes she can stop because after that long work quality goes down anyway & the kid'll start to get upset/hate it, and knowing that not finishing means an extra session later/tomorrow will give incentive to get it over with now.

Poor little blighter. If she doesn't hate maths already, she soon will!

The thing is that in recent years the emphasis on maths has increased 10 fold! So if she hates maths it's not something she can avoid, it's not just one subject among many any more.

It shouldn't be that way but it is, and parents have to do what they think is best to help them swim not sink as they PLOUGH through the maths topics at school now, if a kid needs some extra time to grasp some topics, that needs to be done at home.

Yes Kumon isnt the most imaginative way to help, but with most parents having learnt "old maths" it can be hard to help with "new maths" so some outsource.

An hour a day on holiday ...ridiculous, ten minutes maybe
How old is she ? Can’t you have a fast watch .... ten mins later ‘oh well done darling all done for today you were quick, let’s get ready to go out’
Nothing like putting her off maths for life eh

I'd let her do it for 10 minutes ( as mentioned by BlueBelle , using the "fast watch" method. ) Then when she is gone to play, finish the rest for her. If questioned she'll say yes, she did the maths , and you get a peaceful holiday. And the parents can see the "evidence" to ensure that you did indeed get the maths done. You have to pick your battles - don't fight over it, just manipulate things to your own advantage.

I agree with Stella1949 pick your battles. Your family obviously trust you to do the best for your grandchildren. You can adjust the study time to suit your schedule. If you don't make an issue of it neither will your granddaughter. Enjoy your holiday.

Can you not do the papers together?

Once she’s got started, wander off and do the washing up while still interacting, so she feels she’s doing it on her own but chatting her through it so it gets done in double time. It’s not really cheating, and you are her gran so entitled to bend rules a bit.

Oh how I hated that Kuman session when one of my GC was visiting ,the crying , the screaming ..but she was , and still is , a very bright child . I got it done in half the time with bribery flattery and promises

...and for what ? I struggled with maths beyond everyday stuff but have worked well all my life with just an ordinary and reasonable knowledge of what anyone would have Never needed or used all the geometry Trig and algebra that I hated so much
I m not familiar with Kumon beside knowing the name but anything that makes a child so unhappy can’t be good

sorry it sounds awful. I think it is up to the parents if they wish to follow this scheme.

They should not be insisting you police it.

Do it for her! - seriously, this is completely out of order. I really would simply do the papers.

If you cannot bring yourself to do that, then just get it out each day, tell her where it is and that she can do it if she wants to. It is not down to you to be forcing this on her. Poor little bugger - what can her parents be thinking of? How to put a child off learning in one easy lesson!

I am sickened by the way children are sometimes allowed no real down time - they are force fed all term - this is a holiday, and by definition she should not be doing this.

The only school work my DDs ever did on holiday was GCSE/A-level revision during a May holiday; and that was by their own choice; and mostly completed while lying on a beach.

I have no idea what this system is, but it sounds like torture. It surely isn't likely to encourage a child to enjoy maths?

By working together and feeding her answers you'll provide positive support but won't be cheating or fibbing to parents.

She'll get more out of it than struggling alone.
Put yourself back in a classroom situation, one-to-one with a reluctant learner and think how you'd deal with it.

Thanks for all the support and suggestions.

The child is just turned seven and as far as I know she has no particular problems with Maths - certainly none that I've been asked to help with.

The real killer is that each paper is timed as a whole unit so it can't be broken up into 10 minute pieces!! I have tried agreeing a schedule but basically it is: put it off till later and then have the screaming match.

The DIL has arranged Kumon lessons and if I asked she would no doubt come up with some very good justification. She is very controlling and she herself is not nice to the granddaughter herself when Kumon is involved - calling her lazy and stupid if she resists and takes a long time. If you have ever read my posts you will know I am quite outspoken but I am very careful not to pick fights with DIL as I think she could easily block access!

SEVEN???

Homework during a holiday when you’re SEVEN???

The world’s gone mad

It’s not a good system. Maths is a wonderful subject and taught correctly it’s a joy. Sadly too many teachers have themselves been badly taught and see it as a subject they don’t especially understand or enjoy teaching.

Many parents, grandparents, teachers and others are horrified at the way language is now to be taught in the NC at primary level. What many don’t realise is that there is an equally draconian and senseless curriculum operating in maths too.

This doesn’t help you grannypauline though. Personally, I’d try to make it less traumatic by sitting down with your grandchild and doing it together. Try to make obvious deliberate mistakes so she can correct you and have a laugh. Put a plate of biscuits out, and a favourite drink and get through this as easily as possible.

Or of course you could get the dog to chew up the hated exercises.

Seriously this poor child - she is 7 FGS!

I am sorry but I do think that her family are doing her a huge disservice.

I am at a complete loss to understand what all the rush is about - childhood is a precious time and you only get one shot at it. This is a waste of her childhood.

I really would just do it for her. I know that this feels deceitful but what they are doing to this child is just plain wrong.

This is a HOLIDAY - she is right to protest.

I would not fret too much about not being asked to look after them again, or take them on holiday. It sounds as though the child's mother would be glad of the break if she too is going through this every day. Silly woman. Deserves a kick up the arse. Sorry - but I feel so strongly about children being the chance to be children.

being given

This sounds dreadful. Are you taking them on holiday as a favour to the parents? Is it basically free childcare/ homework supervisor they are after? I understand you have a tricky relationship but I would perhaps suggest giving her alternative “ holiday maths” instead of the kumon and do some fun activities. As an ex teacher I’m sure you can think of something - working out holiday money spending or whatever. Could even keep it in an exercise book as “evidence”. Would that suggestion go down well with the DiL?

Thanks again. Am trying the "help but not helping" technique which has been agreed as of now.

And yes, I always make "learning experiences" on our holidays. Yesterday the tube passengers were delighted by the working out of journey times etc.

But DIL is very self centered and controlling and is literally she who must by obeyed! Nothing would convince her that her plans are not the most correct! No deviation possible!