A little genius

Most parents of genuinely gifted children keep very quiet about it. It causes too many problems. Their grandparents should do likewise. There is still an anti-intellectualism in this country which is delighted if someone else's children or grandchildren are gifted footballers, or dancers or artists, but resents and attempts to diminish any child who is intellectually gifted.

However, more generally, I really do not understand why anyone feels a need to tell everybody about their grandchildren, unless the person they are talking to knows them, in which case, a brief resume of their lives, exchanged when you meet before moving on to other subjects is quite sufficient. I have a friend who constantly rabbits on about all her grandchildren. I find it very boring.

Many apparently gifted children join the run-of-the-mill as their peers catch up. Children develop at different rates.

When I go on too much about my GCs my DS who has no children gives me a hard stare and says "You're being a boring adoring gran." What will happen when he has children I really don't know!

Many older people ramble on about their own interests and are not at all interested in what others have to say. I have a friend who simply interrupts me on the rare occasions I talk about myself or my family. I just let her ramble on.

My sister + our oldest friend + me meet up for lunch once a month. We place our order and then have 5 minutes for health updates and 5 minutes boasting, complaining, whatever about the DC & DGC. Then the food arrives and we go on to talk about local issues, news, Strictly, gardens, anything topical at the time.

This format has also worked well in a couple of Women's Groups of which I am a member. First 10 minutes to get a coffee and exchange personal stuff, then on to the business of the meeting.

Does the gentleman have other interests or hobbies? I wonder if he has much going on in his life besides his grandson?

Like most grandparents, I adore my 2 grandchildren and of course, I think they're gorgeous, clever, etc., but I have other things to do and to talk about. Does this man have other things?

Yes, yes. A total ban! So much better than my idea!

The mother seems to have exactly the right attitude. Grandad needs to develop some other interests and other topics of conversation (Brexit anyone?). Seriously, how about banning the subject of grandchildren from all conversations when you get together in future? Then he won't feel he is being cut out for special attention!

I so agree with Diana.She expresses it so much better than I could. It sounds as if Mum has the right idea. Talking about his character is much more important than his achievements. Friend needs putting in his place.

If the boy is genuinely gifted, he needs guidance how to use his talents and so does his family. Very intelligent children are more of a challenge than dull children, if they get bored life can be very stressful for all concerned.
Ideally they need to be with others of a similar ability, if this means older children or adults so be it, because he needs to be challenged in his opinions. Try to encourage him to learn any topic in depth not lots of different superficial subjects.
I would have no hesitation cautioning my partner about over praising a clever child. What ever his special talent turns out to be he needs to be able to socialise with all abilities, getting his view across without upsetting the others.

Thank you everyone for your excellent suggestions.
Eglantine, I shall definitely try the three pennies trick.
Three penn’orth, thruppenyworth, threppenceworth ... I don’t know! Maybe someone from Pedant’s corner can help?
On that note, I see that I typed ‘their’ instead of ‘there’ in the last sentence of the first post. Absolutely unforgivable!

Archibald is a wonderful child but do you realise you talk about him all the flippin' time

Give him three pennies to put in his right hand pocket and tell him to move one over to the left hand pocket every time he mentions his grandson.

When all the pennies are gone he’s not allowed to say any more abou his grandson. It might bring home to him what a bore he’s become.

It works for other stuff that people go on about too like illnesses and operations, travel abroad and in my case, at the moment, moving house.

Threepennethworth and I’m done!

(Somebody help me with threepennethworth. It doesn’t look right )

Aye. He's needing tellt! As my grandmother (might have said if she'd let her guard down!)

‘Oh DO stop banging in!’ ought to do the trick ??

Oh yes! so many of these folk around. Unfortunately the only way to change this behaviour is to directly but sweetly challenge it. Good luck!

Perhaps you could suggest to him that although you’re sure he doesn’t intend it, his constant “banging on” (love that expression!) can sound like bragging and make him appear to be a bit pompous? Good luck