A little genius

Perhaps you could suggest to him that although you’re sure he doesn’t intend it, his constant “banging on” (love that expression!) can sound like bragging and make him appear to be a bit pompous? Good luck

Oh yes! so many of these folk around. Unfortunately the only way to change this behaviour is to directly but sweetly challenge it. Good luck!

‘Oh DO stop banging in!’ ought to do the trick ??

Aye. He's needing tellt! As my grandmother (might have said if she'd let her guard down!)

Give him three pennies to put in his right hand pocket and tell him to move one over to the left hand pocket every time he mentions his grandson.

When all the pennies are gone he’s not allowed to say any more abou his grandson. It might bring home to him what a bore he’s become.

It works for other stuff that people go on about too like illnesses and operations, travel abroad and in my case, at the moment, moving house.

Threepennethworth and I’m done!

(Somebody help me with threepennethworth. It doesn’t look right )

Archibald is a wonderful child but do you realise you talk about him all the flippin' time

Thank you everyone for your excellent suggestions.
Eglantine, I shall definitely try the three pennies trick.
Three penn’orth, thruppenyworth, threppenceworth ... I don’t know! Maybe someone from Pedant’s corner can help?
On that note, I see that I typed ‘their’ instead of ‘there’ in the last sentence of the first post. Absolutely unforgivable!

If the boy is genuinely gifted, he needs guidance how to use his talents and so does his family. Very intelligent children are more of a challenge than dull children, if they get bored life can be very stressful for all concerned.
Ideally they need to be with others of a similar ability, if this means older children or adults so be it, because he needs to be challenged in his opinions. Try to encourage him to learn any topic in depth not lots of different superficial subjects.
I would have no hesitation cautioning my partner about over praising a clever child. What ever his special talent turns out to be he needs to be able to socialise with all abilities, getting his view across without upsetting the others.

I so agree with Diana.She expresses it so much better than I could. It sounds as if Mum has the right idea. Talking about his character is much more important than his achievements. Friend needs putting in his place.

The mother seems to have exactly the right attitude. Grandad needs to develop some other interests and other topics of conversation (Brexit anyone?). Seriously, how about banning the subject of grandchildren from all conversations when you get together in future? Then he won't feel he is being cut out for special attention!

Yes, yes. A total ban! So much better than my idea!

Does the gentleman have other interests or hobbies? I wonder if he has much going on in his life besides his grandson?

Like most grandparents, I adore my 2 grandchildren and of course, I think they're gorgeous, clever, etc., but I have other things to do and to talk about. Does this man have other things?

My sister + our oldest friend + me meet up for lunch once a month. We place our order and then have 5 minutes for health updates and 5 minutes boasting, complaining, whatever about the DC & DGC. Then the food arrives and we go on to talk about local issues, news, Strictly, gardens, anything topical at the time.

This format has also worked well in a couple of Women's Groups of which I am a member. First 10 minutes to get a coffee and exchange personal stuff, then on to the business of the meeting.

Many older people ramble on about their own interests and are not at all interested in what others have to say. I have a friend who simply interrupts me on the rare occasions I talk about myself or my family. I just let her ramble on.

When I go on too much about my GCs my DS who has no children gives me a hard stare and says "You're being a boring adoring gran." What will happen when he has children I really don't know!

Many apparently gifted children join the run-of-the-mill as their peers catch up. Children develop at different rates.

Most parents of genuinely gifted children keep very quiet about it. It causes too many problems. Their grandparents should do likewise. There is still an anti-intellectualism in this country which is delighted if someone else's children or grandchildren are gifted footballers, or dancers or artists, but resents and attempts to diminish any child who is intellectually gifted.

However, more generally, I really do not understand why anyone feels a need to tell everybody about their grandchildren, unless the person they are talking to knows them, in which case, a brief resume of their lives, exchanged when you meet before moving on to other subjects is quite sufficient. I have a friend who constantly rabbits on about all her grandchildren. I find it very boring.

The 3 penny trick sounds excellent! Academically exceptionally able children are often exciting to be around and hopefully go on to provide the nation/ world with something very positive. As a nation we actually do value academic ability more highly than other equally valuable 'talents'. I have a very dear friend who has 3 lovely grandchildren of whom I am very fond .But they are more amazing than everyone elses! It gets quite tedious as he regales us, his pals, with their latest successes. Most of us have DGCs too but if we try to interject with an anecdote about our DGCs it is not recieved with the level of enthusiasm we are expected to respond to him! Doting grandparents can be blind!

I am curious as to who labelled the child as ‘ exceptional and gifted’, how old he is, and who measured his ‘ astronomical’ I.Q.

And luckygirl, my middle son could read and comprehend anything by the time he turned three, and had a vast knowledge of animals and birds. How I was brought down to earth at his first parents’ evening when his teacher told us, yes, his reading was excellent, but the rest of the class would soon catch up. This was indeed the case, and, while as he went through school he was academically successful, there were no signs of ‘ giftedness’.

I think I’d deal with this by jokingly saying something like,” Doting granddad alert! Doting granddad alert!”
Or I’d just ignore it.

High expectation from self and family increases stress on a child who may start out in front of the rest but once the others start to catch up, as they will, they will no longer be number 1. The child then has to deal with unfamiliar feelings of failure even if they have not failed, and in some cases may drop out altogether.

M0nica you are so right, I felt I could not join in discussions of child achievements with other parents, and had to keep quiet. Son number 4 had IQ 158, went through school two years ahead, sailed through uni and got his doctorate in psychology with ease. I can't understand a word he says about his work! I am even reluctant to mention it here, because whatever you say it looks like bragging, and it is nothing to do with me, the other three were 'normal'!

Now to my relief he is about to become a father, so we will have something to talk about!

My grandson is 'gifted', but my daughter has made sure he has his feet on the ground, especially with social interaction. This can be hard when you are in a school with all levels.
I was too, but I never knew. I went to a grammar school so most were clever. In some ways this was a problem as I never had to work too hard, but it caught up with me eventually when it came to Uni.

B9exchange Your experience with your son is similar to mine and we now have the same thing with our grand children. But with our son most schools were really anti exceptionally bright children. I was an active member of the National Association for Gifted Children and helped so many members whose biggest problem was hostility from teachers, most never told the school, but the children were nevertheless single out for being 'clever, clever'

Nowadays attitudes have changed and schools run 'Gifted and Talented' programmes., although mainly at secondary school level. DGD has already been selected for it and DGS will, when he is old enough.

I never saw it as something to boast about. Nothing I did made them as bright as they are. They were born with an innate ability, and all I wanted was for them to make the most of it and flourish.

All the snide comments in this thread about these children not being so clever in the long run, or high stress from parental hot housing and self imposed perfectionism and not being able to cope with failure are rubbish. Of course it happens to some children, but it happens to some children regardless of their ability.

Being gifted does not mean wafting through school with only half the mind engaged and being effortlessly successful. Not all gifted children are brilliant at everything. DS is dyspraxic and had endless problems with writing and games and is distinctly average when it comes to maths. A gifted friend of his was dyslexic, others have to cope with all the normal problems in life, families breaking up, or families in poverty of with siblings who are disabled.

As I said there is a deep anti-intellectualism in this country that will always do everything to undermine any one who is seen to be very bright.

Hasn't this thread opened up a wonderful opportunity for that very topic?
(Apparently deprecating) bragging grandparents!