How often do you see local gc

I collect gs 2 days and give him dinner. In holidays I have him 2 full days which is hard as I get older but dil has noticed and taken half days when she can.

I see my grandson once a week, I live about 35 minutes from my son/daughter in law, & I enjoy every second I'm with him, he's 7 months. I play with him for hour's when I'm there & my daughter-in-law gets on with all the chore's she cannot do when I'm not there, & it suit's both of us. I would love to see him more but am eternally grateful for this one day I spend with him. I have built up a close relationship with my daughter-in-law since my little GS come along. I retired at 55 years old so could afford to help out more & have offered on numerous occasions but they have not taken up the offer so that's ok with me. My daughter-in-law doe's not intend going back to work until GS is in school so there will not be any reason for me to visit more at this time but I would gladly do so. I only have one child ( my son) so maybe this will be my only GC because my DIL is in her late 30's but if this is so it is their choice, but I am absolutely enjoying every second of being " nanny"....

Well, we have 2 GC not 20 mins walk from where we live. We haven't seen them, and are allowed absolutely no contact for 3 1/2 years. HOWEVER, I am over it now, as is my hubby. We have and are still, building a good lives for ourselves without GKDS. We have cousins and brothers, although not where we live. We also have lots of friends, but they live overseas. All told we have a lot to be thankful for. But the icing on the cake is our other grandchildren, 2 of them, who live overseas. We Skype with them regularly and they are an absolute joy. And the mother of one of them, although divorced, has kept in touch throughout the years and remembers birthdays and mother's day and father's day. I thank my lucky stars.

You are creating your own misery by being spineless and not standing up to her.

Windows. Stones. Houses. Glass. People. Throw.

Rearrange into a well known phrase or saying.

It varies for me- I childmind for DD2 's DD once a week, originally for the whole day, but now from 3-6. I pop into see DD1's family after work for a cuppa once a week and we usually have some time most weekends with all four unless we or they are busy. We are very much a pop in family, quick cuppa, chat and on we/they go. We do speak most days, and I rarely go more than a week without seeing them, if only briefly. if the children are small once a week shouldn't be an issue, doesn't need to be a long visit. We used to leave our kids and go off on our own for an hour. Admittedly, a little harder if they have activities, such as football or dance (which all mine had), but MIL used to help with the logistics if things clashed.

Well chewbacca, if you can read you’d see I asked how often people saw their grandkids.

You've had quite a lot of replies to that question. Has it helped at all?

I pick my two GG up from School once a week to help my DD who has to work three days a week they come back for their diner where she joins us helping her out. They also come over regually on Sundays with other family members for a roast diner they love seeing their uncles and aunts all my children work very hard and have busy lives but all appreciate getting together thats the best part about being a family spending time together, one day it may be their turn to look after me and hopefully they will I think you get back what you give.

Eglantine

Oh no. Now I agree with diktat

Febmum. Stop being controlled by her. If she refuses to eat, that’s on her. If she threatens harm, call the police.

You are creating your own misery by being spineless and not standing up to her.

You only live once - is this the life you really want for yourself?

There now I am hoist with my own petard. There must be a solution to iPads having a mind of there own. Up to me to get control of the thing

That’s to febmum

Honestly fermium, why not just change the locks and don’t give anybody else any keys.

If she lays in bed and cries and won’t eat that’s up to her. No reason you should get involved in that.

Answer the phone when you want. Husband can tell work not to put her through.

Take control. Be a grownup.

But don’t whinge and say she’s the reason you can’t have another baby.

Sorry but I find it a bit difficult when people seem to want the problem rather than the solution.

Well chewbacca, if you can read you’d see I asked how often people saw their grandkids.

Diktat we've been round and round and round and round with this with you and niether you, nor us, are any further forward. Your last posts were on exactly the same subject; you posted exactly the same details of your "problems"; you got exactly the same advice and responses, what is it you're looking for exactly? So far we know :

Your own parents aware wonderful
Your own parents have a swimming pool
Your own parents are excellent grandparents
Your own parents have unlimited access to you "lo".
Your mother in law is horrible.
Your mother in law overstep the boundaries you set.
Your mother in law is so unpleasant that you have to have the guardianship of your OH
You don't want you or your "lo" to have anything to do with your mother in law, if at all possible.

So, where does that leave us? What progress have you made since you last presented us with the same set of "problems" as this time? What is it that you want to hear? Please tell us and put us all out of this misery.

My DILs are the very best mums for our DGC. They are also the best DILs to me and my DH. I now realise how lucky we are!

When we haven't gone round she calls us both and when we don't pick up or say we are busy she calls husband's work, she comes round and let's herself in, we took key off her and she took spare key off neighbour. She cries and has at times lay in bed refusing to eat until we agree to visit. I can't describe, it isnt just what I've written, it's so much more, there's no way out and once a week is easier than the alternative. In terms of another child, we can't do the newborn weeks again as they were the worst of our lives becuase of her... To revealing to discuss but just know we cannot repeat them!

doesn't everyone go for therapy over there?

Perhaps how to deal with toxic in-laws - for you both - could be a first step

MIL and DIL I mean.
A bit like Marriage Guidance but In-Law Guidance

I don’t plan on doing anything that would cause me to spend more time with her. Sorry! I like things the way they are with limited visits. Mil will never change and has only gotten worse since gmil passed away in June

ah, so you are in the US.
When you are with your MIL [on your own!] tell her how you feel in a diplomatic firm way, it's no good you telling other posters to grow a pair if you can't even see the woman without husband to back you up.Geddit?

Lemongrove. That’s a pretty dumb comment. You’re telling me to spend time with someone I don’t like just to stand up to them? How about I just not do that and only see them when obligated to do so? Why would I want to spend MORE time with mil to prove a point? What a silly thought process.

and yet.... you are not standing up to your own MIL Diktat by refusing to see her on her own, are you?

My DD has sometimes expressed that she finds the aunt in law’s visits tiring as she doesn’t really help much and expects my DD to wait onher etc but she respects the relative’s right to visit the children and would never make her feel unwelcome or unwanted. I suppose it depends on your personality as to how you deal with these things.

Me and husband have decided not to have more children becuase of it and are both unhappy with the situation

You cannot be serious?
There are many reasons for not having more children but this has to be the daftest ever.
Are you adults or children?
How does she force you to do something you clearly don’t want to?
Time you donned your big girl pants and made the decisions for your own family.