Funny things kids say

4!!! Not 5!

In the car with my 5yo son and 2yo daughter.

“Mummy, I just don’t know. She is not human”

I mean....I have had my doubts.

in a heated moment with her 5 year old son my daughter said to him "son you are walking on thin ice!"
He came back with this clever reply
"no mom I am walking on the floor"

Kids, they say the funniest things.

Due to life seeming all grey at the time I was asked if they actually had coloured pencils when I was a child. I’d been showing her some old black and white photographs.

My son made me and my mum smile many years ago. She was in hospital riddled with cancer but retaining her sense of humour so I could share the story with her. I was going in to visit and my son, aged 5 who had a bad cold wanted to come. I told him he couldn't as I didn't want any germs passed on and he replied that he thought that was a vey good idea as he wouldn't want to "catch what Nana's got."
He graduates from medical school this summer - luckily he wants to specialise in orthopaedic surgery, not infectious diseases!!

Prosecco - I had a very similar conversation with a friend's 4 year old, when he asked me about my parents and grandparents, all deceased only his finally retort was, 'Who killed them all?'
Too much telly I suspect.

Aah, i-spy- so many funny moments. When my youngest daughter was about 4 we were playing I-spy on a long car journey. When it was her turn she said “something beginning with l.” After a few attempts we gave up, and she said: “It’s a larm clock.”
She meant the speedometer.

The "I spy" game with my 4 year old GD continued with her quetion of "I spy with my little eye something beginning with grey. " After a few failed attempts to answer I asked for a clue. "It's curly and you're wearing it, " she piped up. I made an appointment with the hairdresser the next day.

Oh I’ve loved these! Giggled my way through them all and especially liked the ‘I can hear my trods’! Magical. Didn’t Sarah Kennedy have us all laughing years ago on her Radio 2 programme the dawn patrol with sayings from the terrible twos?

Bedtime routine when my son was little was bathtime, storytime and then a little chat before sleep. One night at chat time he said to me with eyes closing, "can't chat tonight mummy, my eyes are going to sleep without me".

Christmas morning was hectic and later the kids were getting tired and grumpy . When I returned later in the day for dinner my wee grandson , re-energised and excited again, ran up the candle lit hall welcoming me with " Welcome to the Dinner House ! "

Having served up Spag Bol for family lunch, DS asked for a little extra so I asked 4 yr old
DGD if she'd like a little extra too. "Yes please Nanna" . . . then . . . "What is a little extra"?

My two grand-daughters last week, wise one all of 11 was talking about periods and said to her younger sister, but that doesn't apply to you because you're only 8 and you don't need to know about that yet...

Remember that my son used to have 'grumbled egg' instead of scrambled egg, and strawberries were always 'bejjies'.

Eldest DGD, when aged 4, was desperate to come to us for a sleep-over but was being quite difficult. Her mum told her that if she was naughty, Grandma and Granddad wouldn't want her to stay. With hands on hips she said "Well, I won't be naughty at THEIR house, will I!" Collapse of all adults!

These really are great!

My daughter once asked, "Mummy if dead bodies get buried what happens to the heads?"

My DGD when walking on crisp deep snow for the first time said 'Daddy I can hear my trods!'

My 2yr old DGS was studying my red glittery nail polish intently before announcing ‘Granny’s got Christmas nails but mine are just pink !’

Same DGD, a few weeks ago, talking to her Grandad:
Grandad: Just think Maisie - in 30 years time, you'll be the age that Mummy is now
Maisie: Wow..!
Grandad: And I'll be -
Maisie: You'll be dead..!!!
Grandad: Thanks..!

Many......
My granddaughter Issy last Christmas at 5 asked, “Gran who is more important, Jesus, God or Father Christmas!!”??? The year before she asked me “Gran why have you got that shiny wool on your wall?” She meant tinsel ???

Grandad was puting 4 year old DGS to bed. Stalling for time DGS2 said "Grandad, I want to tell you everything in my head....."

Some years ago older DGS1:
Mummy: What would you like for breakfast?
DGS1: Toast please Mummy, but not cooked
Mummy: Do you mean bread?
DGS1: No, toast please, but not cooked!

When DGS was born, it took a few days to decide on his name. During this time, I was doing school drop-offs and pick-ups for DGD, who was 4. On the third day, I arrived to pick her up & was met by her teacher, with a slightly desperate look on her face, who asked how little brother was - and then said enquiringly, 'Maisie* tells us that he's going to be called Bubbles..?' The look of relief that swept across her face when I roared with laughter and said that his name hadn't been decided yet, showed how many weird names she must have come across...!
*Not DGD real name

while sitting down to dinner my eldest DD asked her dad where babies came from. He of course said ask your mum. So we had The Talk. About an hour later my father called around. Grabbing him by the hand DD said ‘just wait until you hear what mummy just told me. You’ll never believe it!’

Eldest DS went see watch DGS aged 3 in his first nativity where he had a speaking part. Afterwards DS said Well done you did very well to DGS. To which DGS replied And well done on your clapping Daddy. Bless him.