Advice please.

There is a Gransnet article here www.gransnet.com/grandparenting/contact-rights

There is some helpful information here www.thefamilylawco.co.uk/information/what-are-grandparents-rights/

I would think consulting a solicitor would be a good first step.

Sadly, you can do nothing. The children are with their father who has sole and exclusive responsibility for them and can make any decisions he wants, within the bounds of legality, about who they keep in contact with and who they don't.

He must be devastated by the loss of his wife and want to put anything associated with her out of his mind. He may feel, rightly or wrongly that his children are better not being constantly being reminded of their mother in the way contact with her family would constantly remind them. But this could change and if you have not tried to force contact on him, he may in time make contact with you.

All you can do is hope that at sometime he changes his mind. At 5 and 7 your grand daughters will not forget you and in a few years, they may want to make contact with you and try to do so. Even parents find it difficult to keep up with everything their children do online.

When they reach 18 and are of age, you will be able to search for them online yourself.

But at the moment there is nothing you can do.

Oh my goodness what a sad story not only losing your precious daughter but your grandkids as well how absolutely heartbreaking
What was you relationship like with your son in law before your daughter died? what are his side of the family like.?
I think your husband is right about not rocking the boat at the school
I would suggest you put cards letters presents into a box each for them and if the very worst happens and you don’t get contact you can try and find them when they are older and show then how much you cared and never forgot them maybe a bank account too
Poor little souls losing there mum and you both whatever is wrong with the father you would think he’d take all the help he could get

Without knowing more of the circumstances surrounding your DD's death it's hard to offer advice.
I can offer condolences. It must be very hard to lose a daughter. I can't imagine anything worse.
I hope you find a way of reconciling your SiL.
It sounds as though he is suffering too.
People sometimes lash out and do nasty things when they are hurt - like animals.
Can you get some bereavement counselling?

I would be so tempted to ask the school , but I am afraid it would be illadvised , your poor grandchildren must be so confused .
SIL must be suffering too , how sad that he is cutting himself and the children off from the help you could give .
were the relations with him ok before the sad death of your daughter ?

This must be a very difficult situation for you, and I can understand why you would want to call the school. However the school would not be able to tell you anything. I work in a school and if anyone called up asking questions I would not be able to answer unless it was a parent, for safeguarding purposes.

From the schools perspective you could be anyone, even if you say you're a grandparent. They also don't know if there's a reason that your SIL is stopping you from seeing the children (like abuse) so they wouldn't leaglly be able to tell you anything.

If you are concerned about the childrens wellbeing then a police welfare check (they can be done anonymously) childrens services would be the best option.

Failing that, you could contact the courts and apply for contact with your grandchildren (well apply to apply for contact, it's a complex process) or begin the process of mediation to establish contact (even just letter contact would be some progress at this point).

Do you have any idea why your SiL has done this?

How sad for you. Do you have any idea why he has done this?
I don't think the school will be able to tell you anything about the children, data protection means it is very difficult to get any information.
I think your hubby is probably right, you could stir up more problems.