Son says only way i can see his child is court

Bibbity Grandparents are special people. There is a special relationship between youngsters and more older people as you can see from recent television programmes.

I agree with MissAdventure and Nanny2507. GC need their loving grandparents especially if they have been involved in their lives constantly before being separated from them and parents were happy with their input.

GOOD grandparents are vital

Well, then we can agree to disagree.

No. I believe that parents should choose how to raise their children.

Where does it end?
Because outside of parental relationships grandparents aren’t any more special than other relations.

Uncle rights? Aunty rights? Cousin rights? God parent rights?

I remember another post of yours but I can't remember the details of it. Does anyone have a link?

I would say the better option is to let him cool down but you are welcome to see a lawyer and ask their opinion in the meantime. This is more long term advice which would foster a better relationship with your Son and GCs down the track.

If you do decide to sue them the parents can still make things difficult. Even if you do win it can be a loss as the parents can file an appeal, move further away (which may make things harder) etc.

I tend to believe that GP rights are more for if one parent has passed away or one parent has full custody and the other parent does not want any contact with the child which would make it difficult for the GPs to visit or if the GC lived with the GPs for an extended period of time (over 6 months). GP rights hampers the parents ability to raise a child and make decisions for the their family unit as they have to go through lawyers for them. GP rights once even threatened can be hard to come back from. It's scorched earth and only to be done after mediation has failed.

But Summer if you have already lost that relationship (or never had it) and the whole family has been cut off what is there to lose? I did refer to one side of the family. What is money when it comes to the welfare of GC?

I don't believe parents should have a legal right to make poor decisions on behalf of their children, and if grandparents are a positive force then they should be given access.

Nonnie, what have you got to lose?

The chance at every having a good relationship again. Loads of money. Forcing other family and friends to choose sides.

Just because grandparents are sad, doesn’t trump the parents choices for their children.

Dil of course our experiences affect our opinions but it is also possible to see things from others' points of view as well.

Bibbity do you think that if you were behaving unreasonably it would be the only thing someone could do? If you were already not speaking to them what have they got to lose? I can understand your viewpoint because you are probably talking about reasonable people but what it the mother isn't behaving reasonably?

Its always best to avoid going to law if you can, as we don't know the back story and because somebody has suggested to you your DS might calm down I think you should let things lie for the time being at least. This is assuming your DGC is not in any danger.

The only acceptable time I can see it as acceptable for GPR to be taken is in the event that a child has had to live apart from their parents and be placed in the care of their GPs.
If then the parents get their act together and do gain their child back it could be extremely damaging to the child to then cut out the GPs.

But same as PP. if anyone ever threatened me with court over my children they would 1. Be never spoken about again
And 2. I would make sure that I fought tooth and nail to ensure they didn’t win anything.

Everyone's opinions in life are based on experience and understanding.

My parents never lied to use about why the didn;t like her being around us and she just proved it herself with her actions.

Dil do you think your opinion might be based on what happened to you? Do you think people should just accept that children should be cut off from seeing one half of their family? Do you think it benefits children to be left wondering why they can't see people they love? Maybe you think its OK for them to be told lies about one half of their family. What is best for the children should be most important but if their mother won't allow for no good reason surely the court should be given the chance to intervene?

@buffybee

given that, there is clearly a reason this lady's children have cut her off.

But there must be some reason for this? Children don't just go NC with their parents and ban them from seeing GDC for no reason at all.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

@nonnie

Yes I would say never.

If any of my DDs grandparents did that to use, I'd never forgive them and also, the trust and relationship is then beyond repair. Once that trust is broken, that's it, it'll never be repaired and it leaves the child in a horrible situation.

We had this between my dad's mum and my mum.

It was awful. We would be made to go to my nan's house to see her and have to listen to her bitch about my mum and her family and all because she put on a good show and made herself out to be a perfect nan. She wasn't, she didn't care about us and my mum and dad were right to keep us form her for as long as they did. The moment I was old enough, I cut contact with her and haven't seen or heard from her since.

Is your son on his own or could it be because his partner has insisted? I have known of women who insist that men break contact with their family. If he is in that situation he may have to choose between you and them.

For those who say don't go down the legal route would you say never? Surely there comes a time when all other routes have been tried? Think about the effect on the children, should they be denied access to their wider family? What if there is a cultural difference, should they be denied one side of their heritage? The children may think (or have been told) that they can't see their relations because the relations don't want to see them.

Is this the second child you are having issues with? I’m sure I just read about your daughter ?

I hope, for you, that your son changes his mind. I suppose you could get some professional advice while waiting to see what happens. Going to Court ought to be the absolutely very last resort and it may not bring happiness for anyone anyway.

He stopped contact for no reason at all?

There must be a back story.

I agree with DIL 17. If you go down the legal route it's going to mean lawyers, money and stress as well as heartache.
As your son has a child part of that money he will spend on a lawyer will be taken away from caring for their family. You may or may not get access but it highly unlikely that your son will forgive you if you do.
Leave him alone for awhile. After a few months or so reach out to your son trying to mend bridges with him. Limit mentioning the grandchildren and wanting to see them. Build a relationship with your son first.
In the meantime try to keep busy by taking up some hobbies and see your friends. You can consult with a lawyer but I would be very cautious about submitting an application for visitation as this would hard to backtrack from. If you do go down that route you need to be certain.

I would think again about going down the legal route you will never be forgiven if you do by both parents,can you not write to your son and extend the olive branch it sounds as though your DGC is very young, have you over indulged them with visits/advice etc something new grans do tend to do sometimes without realising they are doing it.
I hope things work out for the best for you.

There's never any hope of reconciliation once you go down the legal route. A glimmer of hope however remains when you step back and reevaluate the situation at hand. This allows for both parties to self reflect, allows for tempers to cool and gives each of you time to heal from whatever hurt either party may have caused.

You mention that you've been told to let him "cool down," which insinuates that he is extremely angered/upset by you. If you know you did something wrong, then don't underestimate the power of a sincere apology. Not to dampen your spirits - but just remember that winning legal suit doesn't automatically grant one visitation rights. Your son may still decide to relocate his family miles away from you, and there's nothing that the legal system can do to prevent that, solely for you want to retain your granted visitation. I'd think really carefully before going legal.